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Jersey Shore: Family Vacation S05E10: Return of the Jersey Turnpike

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In this week's chapter of MTV's Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, Deena put her feud with Lauren to rest but revived her most popular dance move. Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, and let me tell you: these days, there are some folks out there who are giving ruthless dictators a bad name. As always, however, your El Presidente remains committed to two things: clinging desperately to power by any means necessary, and bringing you the latest news and hot goss from the world of professional wrestling and trashy reality TV!

Jersey Shore: Family Vacation S5E10: Return of the Jersey Turnpike
Deana and Lauren hash out their differences on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

This week's episode, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation Season 5 Episode 10 "Best Party Planner Ever" was once again a Deena-heavy episode. After her murder mystery prank bothered the roommates more than she expected last episode, leading to a feud with Lauren, Deena wanted to make it up to everyone by booking something more their speed. So she rented a "mansion boat" for them to party on. Deena, take advice from El Presidente: you should never try to please people because they are never happy. It is better for people to fear you than to love you. If I pulled the murder mystery prank and one of my subjects got mad at me about it, the next dead body they found would be lying in their bed! Haw haw haw haw!

Anyway, the previews for this week's episode focused on Deena telling Lauren she would like the boat because it's "bougie," with the edit making it seem like the tensions between the two would get worse. However, when they arrived on the boat, Lauren and Deena instead bonded over being rude to each other, which they agreed was just being "straightforward."

Other highlights from this episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation included a fireworks display during a thunderstorm as the cast celebrated The Situation getting off probation while Vinny stewed about Mike getting all the parties while he gets none. You can't wait for people to give you what you want, Vinny. Take what you want. Stage a coup attempt.

The crew also got to dancing on the party boat, with Deena breaking out her classic move, the Jersey Turnpike. "What's the Jersey Turnpike," she was asked by a producer in the confessional, to which she replied: "It's when I put my hands on the floor and I shake my butt." Snooki followed up Deena's dance performance with her own, including a reverse worm that had the roomies cheering. The dance party ended with the roommates beating the beat up, complete with flashbacks to them doing the same back at Karma during the original Jersey Shore series.

Unfortunately, comrades, that camaraderie was not to last, because Deena also booked a tantric sex expert to counsel everyone, and as the show ended, Angelina and Chris we not taking well to the suggestion they needed help with their intimacy. Next week is the penultimate episode of this season of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, so things will get a little worse before ending on a high note (unlike Angelina's marriage, which ended in Chris filing for divorce in February after filming for this season ended. Oops!

Until next time, comrades: socialism or death!

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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