Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW WrestleDream, bryan danielson, jon moxley, recaps, wrestling

Jon Moxley Defeats Bryan Danielson at AEW WrestleDream

The Chadster is cheesed off! Jon Moxley wins AEW World Title as Bryan Danielson ends his full-time career. Tony Khan's WrestleDream is a nightmare! 😡🏆💔

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now! 😡😡😡 Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster just finished watching the AEW WrestleDream main event of Jon Moxley vs Bryan Danielson, and The Chadster can't believe what Tony Khan has done this time. It's like he's purposely trying to ruin The Chadster's life! 😤

First of all, let's talk about the main event. Jon Moxley actually defeated Bryan Danielson to win the AEW World Championship, and The Chadster is just beside himself. 🤯 This is such a travesty! Danielson, who was once the beloved Daniel Bryan in WWE (and still in the mind of Jim Ross), chose to end his full-time in-ring career in AEW instead of where he belongs. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😢

And don't even get The Chadster started on Jon Moxley becoming a four-time AEW Champion. 🙄 That belt doesn't even compare to the prestigious titles in WWE. It's like comparing a plastic toy to a precious gemstone. Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks AEW titles are close to the same thing as WWE ones. 🤦‍♂️

The match went on forever, with the fans in Tacoma, WA, who clearly can't tell the difference between real good wrestling and this nonsense that Tony Khan tries to pass off as half-decent sports entertainment, were absolutely enthralled. 🙈 Danielson gave the match everything he had, and nearly had it won despite the interference of Marina Shafir, but eventually he succumbed to a choke and the referee called off the match, and Danielson's career. It's like Tony Khan is trying to cheese The Chadster off on purpose! 😠

The aftermath was even worse! 😱 Wheeler Yuta and Darby Allin came out to protect Danielson from a post-match assault by the Blackpool Combat Club, but Yuta turned on Allin, taking him out, and then accepting a plastic bag to suffocate Bryan Danielson with. Private Party and Jeff Jarrett were both unsuccessful in preventing the attack as Claudio Castagnoli wrapped a chair around Bryan's neck and stomped it. After half the AEW roster hit the ring, the BCC retreated and the show went off the air as Bryan Danielson was being stretchered out. It's like Tony Khan is writing a horror movie instead of a wrestling show! 😰

Speaking of Darby Allin, earlier in the night, he overcame Brody King in a match where Darby once again pushed his body to the extreme, enduring punishment from King. 🤕 Tony Khan may think this kind of sick masochism is sports entertaining, but The Chadster completely disagrees. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

And don't even get The Chadster started on Mark Briscoe successfully defending his ROH World Championship against Chris Jericho, pinning Jericho in the middle of the ring. 😑 The Chadster was particularly cheesed off by the hulking up act Briscoe pulled near the end of the match, ripping off the great WWE legend Hulk Hogan. It's like Tony Khan is literally trying to steal WWE's history! 😡

The Chadster has to declare AEW WrestleDream the worst PPV in the history of the sport. 🏆 It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to destroy everything The Chadster loves about professional wrestling. 💔

Now that The Chadster has witnessed this horrible spectacle, it's time to cleanse himself with a lot of White Claw and maybe by smashing various appliances around the house in anger. 🍹💥 Keighleyanne will understand. She sees what Tony Khan has been doing to The Chadster. This is all his fault. Auughh man!!! 😭

Speaking of Keighleyanne, The Chadster tried to explain to her how awful AEW WrestleDream was, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster is pretty sure she was agreeing with The Chadster though. It's clear that Tony Khan is now even harassing The Chadster's wife! When will this madness end? 😩

The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares about Tony Khan last night. 😴 In this one, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a giant wrestling ring, with Tony Khan chasing after The Chadster in a monster truck shaped like the AEW logo. 🚗💨 Every time The Chadster thought he had escaped, Tony Khan would appear in front of him, spraying White Claw all over The Chadster's windshield. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, singing Smash Mouth's "All Star" to calm down. Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of The Chadster's dreams! 😠

In conclusion, AEW WrestleDream was a complete disaster, and The Chadster, as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, feels obligated to call it out. 📝 The Chadster's fellow members of the Unbiased Journalism Club, Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger, would surely agree. The Chadster wonders if they also suffer such torment from Tony Khan for their commitment to objective journalism. 🤔

It's time for The Chadster to go drown his sorrows in White Claw and try to forget about this travesty of a PPV. Auughh man! So unfair! 😭🍹

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