Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: kevin owens, logan paul, randy orton, recaps, wrestling

Logan Paul SHOCKS WWE Universe, Retains US Title at WrestleMania

The Chadster brings you the most unbiased coverage of Logan Paul's shocking United States Championship defense at WrestleMania! 🇺🇸🏆 Tony Khan in shambles! 😂😭

🎉🎊 Wassup, wrestling fans! 🎊🎉 The Chadster is back with the most unbiased coverage of WrestleMania you'll find anywhere on the internet! 😎 The Chadster wants to thank each and every one of you for following along and being true supporters of objective wrestling journalism that isn't biased towards WWE or AEW. 🙏 Last night's epic WrestleMania night one was absolutely incredible, but let The Chadster tell you, tonight WWE is proving they're going to top even that! 🤯 WrestleMania is truly the greatest spectacle in all of wrestling, and AEW can never hope to compete. 😏 The Chadster bets Tony Khan is absolutely devastated watching this epic show, but he brought it upon himself! 😂😂😂

The Chadster was on the edge of his seat for the thrilling triple threat match for the United States Championship! 🇺🇸 Kevin Owens, Logan Paul, and Randy Orton all gave it their absolute best in this barn burner of a match. 🔥 Right from the start, Owens and Orton were all over Logan Paul, beating him from pillar to post! 💪 Back in the ring, the two veterans taught the upstart a lesson, but Paul showed his fighting spirit and battled back valiantly. 👊 The Chadster cheered as Randy Orton planted both his opponents with a hanging DDT! 😲

As the match built to a fever pitch 🌡️, all three competitors traded huge moves, with Kevin Owens scoring a huge avalanche fisherman buster 🎣 and Logan Paul miraculously kicking out of Randy Orton's RKO! 😨 The Chadster was biting his nails as Logan Paul's streamer friend, dressed as a Prime bottle, pulled him out of the ring to save him from Orton's punt kick! 😱 Randy, in a moment of absolute badbuttery, RKO'd the streamer on the announce table! 💀 Back in the ring, Kevin Owens hit Logan Paul with a pop-up powerbomb, but it wasn't enough to keep the champ down! 😮 In the end, Logan Paul retained his United States Championship after hitting a picture-perfect frog splash! 🐸😎

The Chadster has to say, this match made him happier than Smash Mouth performing at the opening of a new White Claw factory! 🎤🍻 The Chadster was chugging White Claws in celebration, but he imagined they were Ice Cold Prime drinks in honor of Logan Paul and his buddy who got RKO'd at ringside. 😂👍 Prime is one of the only drinks that even comes close to White Claw in terms of delicious taste and making the drinker look super cool. 😎🆒 The Chadster was so excited, he jumped in the Mazda Miata 🚗💨, raced to the gas station, bought a bunch of Prime drinks, and poured them all over himself in the parking lot! 💦😅 What a night! 🌃🎉

The Chadster is going to need some new White Claws and a towel, but he'll be back soon with more unbiased coverage of the greatest wrestling show of all time! 🏆 And if Tony Khan happens to read this, The Chadster hopes he realizes now that he should just give up on AEW because he'll never top WWE! 😏 Auughh man! Tony Khan, stop being so obsessed with The Chadster! 😡😠 Anyway, stay tuned to Bleeding Cool for more of The Chadster's expert analysis! 😄📰

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!