Welcome back to the 'Dale, friends! In case you missed it, you have homework: The CW's Riverdale came back this week with an all new episode. But fear not! I'm here to fill you in on what you missed on Wednesday's "Varsity Blues".
Before we begin, two things: first, there are MAJOR SPOILERS! ahead, and second, before we get into the new stuff, let's refresh on where we left off way before the holidays. (You know, the last time we had a new episode of Riverdale.)
In "Tangerine", we saw Jughead inducted into the secret society at Stonewall Prep (but yes, he does still hate Bret); Veronica vs Hiram dug its heels in deeper when she decided to get into the rum business to take away his empire; Archie's uncle Frank came to town to be with them when he heard the news about Fred and now he's crashing at Archie's gym/community center; Betty didn't get into her dream school Yale. Oh, and also dark Betty killed Jughead. Well, we're assuming it was dark Betty, it could have just been Betty being psycho. Who can say, really?
So, on to this week's episode then. Monroe has a Notre Dame scout coming to see him at the big game, which has everyone excited. Betty is writing a take down piece about how Stonewall Prep (the team they're playing – of course) cheats by purposfully injuring the other players they go up against. Jughead gets into Yale on his writing talent (but is all torn up because Betty didn't), and Veronica makes her own rum and starts marketing it.
But of course, Veronica's dad hits her with a C&D because it's his patented family recipe. Why is this whole weird game of cat and mouse happening again? I seriously can't remember why Veronica is trying to take him down. First it was because he was dealing drugs, which, okay – fine. You don't like illegal things. However, it's a little hypocritical of her when she's a minor running a bar and drinking all the time and serving to fellow minors. Just saying. But now she's trying to take down his legal businesses…to what end? What do you want in life, Veronica? Does she want to make her father suffer, despite still living under his roof and off his money?
Confusing Lodge/Luna family drama aside, Betty is a little less annoying this episode, but Mr. Honey seems to have found everybody's annoying and dumps a cheer coach on the Vixens during spirit week, despite it being basically the end of cheer season. Nobody wants this except for him and the weird gung-ho coach, who are both dead set on the school winning some kind of trophy this season. Really all of the school authority figures in this show are all "I have the power and you don't, [insert evil laugh here]" and it's getting a little ridiculous at this point. But I digress.
Archie is still stubborn and Jughead has a very nice time of things – nothing big and earth shattering really happened for them this episode that wasn't already covered. It was another girl-centric episode for sure, and honestly, I prefer that to focusing on Archie and all his whiny drama.
At the end of the day, I'm really just waiting to see how the end of the season plays out – and by that I mean the whole dead Jughead thing, because that's far more interesting than pretty much any other storyline that's happening so far.
So, Veronica and Cheryl are teaming up to give the middle finger to their respective family businesses: Blossom maple syrup + Lodge rum recipe = Luna maple rum. Sounds delicious, but not like breakfast on the beach, which is how Cheryl described it.
Oh, also apparently it's Brett vs Betty (with a vengeance). I'm guessing that plays into the dead Jughead storyline / Betty probably kills Jughead because she thinks he's Brett and doesn't realize her mistake until it's too late? Unclear – all I care about is how they're going to bring Jughead back.