Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: endeavor, Silver Lake, tko, wrestling

Silver Lake to Take Endeavor Private, But TKO Will Remain Public

Comrades! Silver Lake takes Endeavor private in epic capitalist move! How will this affect TKO and wrestling world? El Presidente uncovers all!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from a hollowed-out volcano lair, as I wait for my American pop-tarts to heat up in the toaster oven I stole from Fidel Castro's summer home. But enough about my breakfast – we have some major capitalist news to discuss! Silver Lake, a global leader in making piles of money (according to Silver Lake), has announced that it will be taking Endeavor private in a massive $13 billion deal. For those not familiar, Endeavor is the parent company of TKO, which was formed by the recent merger of WWE and UFC. Apparently, Silver Lake looked at this sports entertainment powerhouse and said, "That's cute, but we can make it even more profitable… for us!"

Now, comrades, if there's one thing I've learned in my decades-long struggle against the evil forces of Wall Street and the CIA, it's that these private equity cabrones always have an angle. They're not doing this out of the goodness of their black hearts. No, they see an opportunity to extract even more wealth from the blood, sweat, and tears of the working-class luchadores and MMA fighters who put their bodies on the line for our entertainment.

But let's be real, this is the biggest private equity deal in the media and entertainment sector ever. It's so big, even I, El Presidente, had to double-check the numbers. $13 billion for the equity, plus another $12 billion in debt, for a total enterprise value of $25 billion! That's enough money to buy a small country… which gives me some ideas for my retirement plan.

Endeavor CEO Ari Emanuel, who I once arm-wrestled at a charity event in Montenegro, said he believes this transaction "will maximize value for all of Endeavor's public stockholders." Well of course he would say that, comrades! He's cashing out too! But what about the value for the fans, the athletes, the artists? Something tells me their interests might not be the top priority of the Wall Street suits at Silver Lake.

The good news, I suppose, is that TKO – the combined WWE and UFC behemoth – will remain a separate public company. So at least we'll still be able to invest our hard-earned money in the suplex-industrial complex. But mark my words, comrades, with Endeavor going private, there will be changes afoot. Maybe we'll see Logan Paul vs. Bad Bunny at WrestleMania, or a new reality show where Nick Khan and Dana White compete to see who can exploit their talent more efficiently. Read the full press release here.

In conclusion, while I may not trust the motives of Silver Lake and their private equity compadres, I must admit, I respect the audacity of this deal. It takes cojones the size of grapefruits to pull off a move like this. As a dictator myself, I can appreciate the consolidation of power and resources. But I'll be watching closely, comrades, to see how this affects the world of sports entertainment that we know and love. Because if there's one thing that should never be privatized, it's the right of the people to watch grown men and women pretend to fight in spandex. Viva la revolución, and viva la lucha libre! This is El Presidente, signing off until next time.

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