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Tucker Carlson: Stop Taking Guff From FOX "News" & Go Scorched Earth!

Why should Tucker Carlson go scorched earth on FOX "News" - and vice-versa? Well, the answer to that begins with 2003's Freddy vs. Jason...

Published Tue, 09 May 2023 16:20:13 -0500

by Ray Flook

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If you're a lover of fine cinema as I am, then I'm sure you have a deep appreciation for the 2003 horror-pop classic Freddy vs. Jason. Bringing together the main "big bads" from the Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street franchises in a bloody big-screen smackdown, the film worked for us on a number of levels. One of those was the way it both fed into my guilty pleasures and gave me an "out" in case I was feeling a bit too sympathetic. The film found a way to get me to feel bad for Jason Vorhees (granted, it's tough not to win a "sympathy contest" when you're going up against a serial child abuser & killer), so I rooted for him to take down Freddy Krueger. But big-picture? Much like the characters on the screen, I would've been more than happy to watch both of them hack away at each other until there's nothing left except two horror-themed versions of The Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. So when I hear that ex-FOX "News" primetime talking head Tucker Carlson is ready to go scorched earth on his old stomping grounds? Well, I think you know where this is going – but there's one thing that makes Carlson & FOX "News" an even easier bloodbath to enjoy guilt-free. There's no one you have to feel guilty for liking in this horror show because they're both nightmares.

By now, we all know that FOX "News" and Carlson parted ways a little more than two weeks ago – though considering it looked like Carlson was expecting to be back on the air the following Monday, it would be safe to assume that FOX "News" did most of the ways-parting. Since that time, Carlson released a weird, almost manifesto-like video that seemed to be aimed at – someone? And then there's the matter of those "leaked" videos that made their way to Media Matters, not exactly showing Carlson in the greatest of lights (even worse than what he was presenting every night) – including trashing FOX "News'" own streaming service. Now comes word Carlson is looking to call out his old boss – for what and with what still remains a mystery. For their part, there have been rumblings since the end of April that the "news" network has a "dirt file" on Carlson that it would be more than happy to share with others.

And to all of that, I say… GAME ON! It's rare that real life offers you a scenario when you can't root for anyone, don't have to feel bad for not rooting for anyone, and can actually feel great as they tear each other apart in the public arena. Enjoy it! Embrace it! Pop some f***ing popcorn & grab a front seat to the show! I'm serious. I will be righteously disappointed if we don't start getting emails, texts, on-set "hot mic" videos, recorded phone calls, and more. And since neither of them would want to be seen as not being the "alpha" in the smackdown, you know that they won't stop until every scrap of anything that could matter is out there. Because after spending years spitting their venom at society, it's about time they knew what some of their own poison feels like.

BREAKING NEWS!!! Just before going to press, Carlson took to Twitter to announce that he already has a new show "starting soon." And where can you see that show? Oh, the punchline is good on this one. Wait for it… wait for it… Elon Musk's Twitter. If someone pitched this whole thing to me as a pilot script idea, my first note? "Too f***ing unrealistic."

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