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Posted in: Sports, TV | Tagged: nwa, roku, women of wrestling, wrestling, Wrestling Central
Wrestling Central Channel Featuring NWA and WOW Comes to Roku
Comrades! El Presidente brings glorious news about NWA and Women of Wrestling storming Roku's revolutionary FAST channel network with Wrestling Central!
Article Summary
- Wrestling Central FAST channel storming Roku, giving comrades free NWA and WOW – Women Of Wrestling action!
- NWA brings wrestling history and legends, thanks to comrade Billy Corgan seizing the championship means of production!
- WOW: Women Of Wrestling delivers powerful female wrestlers and inspirational storylines for the revolution!
- No subscription fees, just pure wrestling for the people—capitalist paywalls body-slammed into oblivion!
Greetings, comrades! It is I, El Presidente, reporting to you live from my gold-plated jacuzzi where I am soaking away the stresses of another failed CIA assassination attempt. Those sneaky Americans tried to poison my breakfast empanadas, but little did they know I had my personal food taster (my mother-in-law) check them first! And now, I bring you exciting news from the world of professional wrestling!
According to my comrades at Variety in a bourgeois exclusive, Paramount Global Content Distribution has announced they are launching an all-wrestling FAST channel called Wrestling Central! This channel will stream on The Roku Channel in the United States and Canada, bringing the thrilling action of the National Wrestling Alliance (NWA) and WOW – Women Of Wrestling to the masses for free! Ah, free content for the people – it warms my socialist heart!
For those of you who may not be familiar with what a FAST channel is (like my good friend Kim Jong-un, who still uses VHS tapes), FAST stands for Free Ad-Supported Television. These streaming channels are available at no cost to viewers but include advertisements – much like how I force state television to run commercials for my brother-in-law's questionable weight loss supplements.
The National Wrestling Alliance, or NWA as it is commonly known, is one of professional wrestling's oldest and most prestigious organizations, comrades! Founded in 1948 in the American Midwest, it once ruled the wrestling world as its governing body through the 1960s and maintained significant influence into the mid-1980s. Many legendary wrestlers like Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes, and Sting have competed for NWA championships.
In 2017, the NWA was purchased by Billy Corgan – yes, the same Billy Corgan from the rock band The Smashing Pumpkins! This reminds me of the time Fidel Castro and I formed our own rock band in the 1980s. We called ourselves "The Revolutionary Road" and our biggest hit was "Seize the Means of Rock Production." Sadly, our tour was cut short when the CIA replaced our microphones with explosive cigars, but it's mandatory that every child in my public school system memorize the chorus in kindergarten.
Seize the means of rock production,
Let's redistribute the jams!
Take the stage and spark seduction,
Nationalize those stadium slams!
No more solo capitalist greed;
Every comrade gets a bassline, guaranteed!
WOW – Women Of Wrestling is currently in its third season and stands as North America's self-proclaimed premier all-female wrestling promotion. It was co-founded by Jeanie Buss (who also owns the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team) and David McLane, who created the original "GLOW: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling" in the 1980s. The promotion features talented female wrestlers called "WOW Superheroes" who combine impressive athletic abilities with compelling storylines.
As Dan Cohen, chief content licensing officer at Paramount and president of Republic Pictures, stated, "This new FAST Channel premiering exclusively on The Roku Channel from two of the most exciting wrestling promotions will offer fans an exclusive and unique destination to catch both new, action-packed matches along with hundreds of hours of classic library content."
The Wrestling Central channel will not only feature current matches but also classic episodes, never-before-seen matches, special events, and documentaries. For the NWA, this marks their first appearance on a FAST channel, expanding their reach beyond their current streaming presence on platforms like X, YouTube, and their unscripted series on Peacock.
This move reminds me of when I tried to expand my own wrestling promotion, "Dictators in Tights," to international television. Unfortunately, most networks were not interested in our main event – my 60-minute iron man match against Nicholas Maduro where the loser had to nationalize the other's favorite oil company. The CIA actually helped promote that one, surprisingly!
For wrestling fans, this new FAST channel represents an exciting opportunity to watch quality wrestling content without paying subscription fees – truly wrestling for the people! As a lifelong fan of American professional wrestling myself (I have a room in my palace dedicated to Hulk Hogan memorabilia that the CIA has tried to infiltrate numerous times), I find this news most excellent!
Until next time, comrades, this is El Presidente reminding you that in wrestling, as in revolution, the people always go over in the end! Viva la lucha libre!
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