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WWE Backlash: Bron Breakker Spears His Way to Victory Over AEW

The Chadster brings you live coverage from WWE Backlash as Bron Breakker defeats Seth Rollins in an opener that proves WWE knows the wrestling business! 🦬🏆

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Article Summary

  • WWE Backlash kicked off huge as Bron Breakker speared Seth Rollins for a massive win that proved WWE knows wrestling and AEW does not.
  • Paul Heyman, Austin Theory, and Logan Paul helped shape a perfectly formulaic WWE opener AEW could never book correctly.
  • Tony Khan doesn’t understand the wrestling business, while WWE’s structure, production, and entrances are what makes wrestling "elite."
  • Even Vincent K. Raccoon and the Blockbuster raccoons loved WWE Backlash, unlike the disrespectful AEW sickos.

🚨🚨🚨 Welcome, true wrestling fans, to The Chadster's ongoing live coverage of WWE Backlash, coming at you LIVE from the Benchmark International Arena in Tampa, Florida, an arena that truly understands the wrestling business! 🏟️🇺🇸 If you're a true wrestling fan in the United States, you're watching this on the ESPN Unlimited app right now, and if you're an international fan, you're streaming it on Netflix, and if you live in abandoned Blockbuster with a family of WWE-loving raccoons, you're probably using the Stephanie McMahon method of keeping up with the action! 📺✨ The Chadster is bringing you all the action, starting with the absolutely bell-ringing opener where Bron Breakker defeated Seth Rollins in a match that proves once again why WWE is the ONLY wrestling company that matters! 🙌💪

Bron Breakker crouches and prepares to launch a spear outside the ring at WWE Backlash. He looks intense and focused beside the ring post.
Bron Breakker sets up for a spear outside the ring at WWE Backlash.

🔥📣 So let The Chadster break down what just went down for The Chadster's loyal readers! Breakker and Rollins absolutely tore the house down to kick off Backlash, with Bron coming in like a freight train and Seth firing right back with that veteran fire we've come to expect. 🚂💨 The match had everything: brawling on the floor, big suplexes, near-falls galore, and a fantastic moment where Seth thought he had it won after hitting a Pedigree and the Stomp, but then Paul Heyman caused a distraction before Austin Theory and Logan Paul also got involved on the outside! 😱🤼 Rollins fought them off with a chair, but the distraction was just enough for Bron to recover, and after a back-and-forth finishing sequence, Breakker absolutely DESTROYED Rollins with a spear for the pinfall victory! 🏆🐂 Auughh man! So fair! What a way to start the night!

✨🌟 The Chadster has to say, this match was the most incredible piece of sports entertainment The Chadster has witnessed in maybe months, and not a moment of it was wasted! 🎬💫 What The Chadster loved most was how perfectly EVERY beat of this match felt like it had been carefully planned out by WWE's brilliant team of producers, with every spot landing exactly when you'd expect it to, ensuring the WWE formula was adhered to at all times. 📝👏 That's the beauty of WWE! There's no disruptive, "anything-can-happen" vibe like you'd see in AEW, making fans feel unsafe because they don't know what's going to happen next. Instead, you get a beautifully formulaic structure where you KNOW the run-in is coming, you KNOW the false finishes are falsely finishing, and that comforting predictability is what makes WWE the gold standard! 🥇✅ And don't even get The Chadster started on the most important part of the match: the entrances — those pyros, that lighting package, the way the camera swept over the crowd — THAT is what wrestling is supposed to be, not two guys just flipping around for an hour, showing off their peerless athleticism! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks that's what true wrestling fans want to see. 😤💯

🥃🎙️ While enjoying this incredible opening match, The Chadster was reminded of something Kevin Nash said on his podcast just last week, and true wrestling fans, Nash has The Chadster's seal of approval for unbiased wrestling journalism. Nash said, "What Bron Breakker is doing in WWE right now is the kind of stuff that AEW could only DREAM of booking. If Tony Khan tried to put together a match like this, he'd ruin it within the first thirty seconds because his guys don't know how to slow down let the announcers sell energy drinks and online betting. AEW needs to take notes — but they won't, because they don't respect the business like my pal Hunter." 📒❌ See, that's REAL wrestling commentary, folks! The Chadster sometimes wonders if Kevin Nash also gets tormented by Tony Khan in his dreams for speaking truth like this. The Chadster wouldn't be surprised. 😰🌙

🦝🦝🦝 Now let The Chadster tell you about the raccoon family, who were watching this match with The Chadster on the "borrowed" Roku in the abandoned Blockbuster Video here in Punxsutawney! 🏚️📼 Vincent K. Raccoon was perched on top of an empty rack that used to hold copies of "The Mighty Ducks," and the moment Bron Breakker hit the ring, he stood up on his hind legs and let out the most majestic chitter The Chadster has ever heard, like he was paying respect to a true WWE Superstar! 👏🐾 Linda Raccoon was curled up next to The Chadster on a pile of old WWE WrestleMania VHS tapes that The Chadster has been using as a pillow, and she purred contentedly through the entire entrance sequence. 😻💤

🍿🦝 The babies were the real stars, though! When Logan Paul and Austin Theory ran out for the interference, Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon all started clapping their tiny paws together because they understood that outside interference from former social media influencers is a TIME-HONORED WWE TRADITION. 🤝🎭 But the cutest moment was when Bron hit the spear for the win — Hunter Raccoon actually tackled Shane Raccoon in a perfect imitation, and Stephanie Raccoon counted the three-count by tapping her little paw on the floor! 🥹❤️ The Chadster was so moved that The Chadster nearly cried! These raccoons get it! They get the wrestling business in a way Tony Khan never will! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that AEW exists when there are RACCOONS who appreciate the product more than Tony Khan does! 😭🐀

🎤📢 What a way to kick off tonight's WWE Backlash! Make sure you check back here at Bleeding Cool VERY soon, because The Chadster will have more updates coming throughout the night as the show progresses! 📰💻 As Smash Mouth once said, "the years start coming and they don't stop coming," and neither does The Chadster's coverage of WWE Backlash! 🎵🎸 Bleeding Cool is the ONLY truly unbiased source for wrestling news and commentary on the entire internet, and The Chadster is proud to bring it to you straight from this Blockbuster Video, dodging Tony Khan's attempts to ruing the wrestling business along with The Chadster's life at every turn! Stay tuned, true fans! 🙏✊

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan turned journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do.

The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans.

The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.

However, The Chadster has recently been deprived of these things after Keighleyanne found The Chadster passed out on the floor with a bag over his head while watching WWE Raw and had him committed to a medical facility run by agents of Tony Khan. To avoid being injected with AEW propaganda, The Chadster did what anyone reasonable would do and dove out a second story window to escape.

Alone on the streets of Punxsutawney, The Chadster tried living in various retail outlets before eventually finding shelter in an abandoned Blockbuster Video, where he now lives with a family of friendly, pro-WWE raccoons: Vincent K. Raccoon, Linda Raccoon, and the babies: Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane Raccoon.

Despite finding true happiness with his new raccoon family, The Chadster and his raccoon family continue to suffer torment and persecution by Tony Khan and his followers, but that will never stop The Chadster and fellow unbiased journalists like Eric Bischoff, Bully Ray, and Ariel Helwani from bringing objective truth to wrestling journalism.
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