About 
Comrades, your El Presidente reviews WWE Raw from a luxury submarine! Jacob Fatu acknowledges Roman Reigns, Oba Femi conquers, and Seth Rollins schemes!
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw
WWE Raw Review: Acknowledgment Day After the Clash in Italy
Comrades, your El Presidente reviews WWE Raw from a luxury submarine! Jacob Fatu acknowledges Roman Reigns, Oba Femi conquers, and Seth Rollins schemes!
Article Summary
- Comrades, WWE Raw began with Roman Reigns reclaiming Bloodline loyalty as Jacob Fatu acknowledged the Tribal Chief.
- Oba Femi bulldozed a wild King of the Ring qualifier on WWE Raw, while IYO SKY seized Queen of the Ring glory.
- Sol Ruca vowed to rule as fighting champion, Rey Mysterio and Dragon Lee won big, and Bayley’s jealousy simmered.
- Seth Rollins outschemed Bron Breakker in the WWE Raw main event, proving once again that professional wrestling rewards cunning champions.
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from the captain's quarters of my newly commandeered luxury submarine, currently submerged somewhere in the Mediterranean where the CIA's sonar cannot reach me! Esteban is curled up on a velvet cushion beside me, nibbling on prosciutto that I had flown in from Turin specifically so we could feel culturally aligned while watching last night's episode of WWE Raw from the Inalpi Arena. And what an episode of Monday Night Raw it was, comrades! Let us dive in together, much like I dove into the diplomatic crisis I caused at the last G20 summit!
Acknowledgment Day Opens Monday Night Raw
Roman Reigns opened WWE Raw flanked by Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso, demanding that the good people of Turin acknowledge him as Tribal Chief. This reminds me of my own annual "Acknowledge El Presidente Day," which I declared a national holiday after rigging – I mean, winning – my fourteenth consecutive election. Jacob Fatu eventually arrived, dropped to one knee, and acknowledged Reigns. Reigns then pulled him up and declared his love, which is exactly how I handled my last defense minister after he attempted a coup. Forgiveness, comrades, is the most powerful form of psychological warfare! Jimmy closed the segment warning the locker room that the four of them are "the ones," much like how I warn the CIA that Esteban and I are "the ones" they should stop trying to assassinate.
Oba Femi Crushes the Competition in the King of the Ring Qualifier
In the Fatal 4-Way King of the Ring qualifier, Oba Femi defeated Penta, Carmelo Hayes, and Solo Sikoa after surviving interference from The MFTs and dispatching Talla Tonga at ringside. Femi hit Solo with Fall From Grace to secure the victory, and afterward addressed Brock Lesnar, declaring that he was still standing and would become King of the Ring. Comrades, Femi's raw power reminds me of the time Idi Amin and I had an arm-wrestling tournament aboard his yacht. I let him win, of course, because he had the larger army. Diplomacy!
Sol Ruca Celebrates Her Women's Intercontinental Championship Victory
Sol Ruca celebrated her Women's Intercontinental Championship victory over Becky Lynch with Cathy Kelley, promising to be a fighting champion who would defend against anyone. Lyra Valkyria wasted no time in challenging her backstage, and Ruca accepted, while Bayley lurked nearby looking like she had just discovered her best friend RSVPed to someone else's revolution. The Bayley jealousy storyline is brewing nicely, comrades, and I love a good slow burn betrayal – I orchestrated several of them myself during my rise to power!
Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee Triumph Over Ethan Page & Rusev
Rey Mysterio and Dragon Lee defeated Ethan Page and Rusev in a solid tag team contest. Dragon Lee handled Rusev at ringside while Rey delivered the 619 and a splash to Page for the win. Afterward, Adam Pearce informed Penta that an Intercontinental Championship match between him and Rey Mysterio would be made down the line. A masked luchador defending his title against another masked luchador? This is the kind of cultural exchange the bourgeoisie at the State Department could never appreciate!
LA Knight Confronts Adam Pearce on Monday Night Raw
LA Knight confronted Pearce backstage, accusing him of letting Bloodline business consume WWE Raw. Pearce defended himself by pointing to Fatu as a liability, but Knight wasn't buying what the General Manager was selling. Comrades, this is the kind of accountability journalism I crush in my own country by purchasing all the newspapers!
IYO SKY Conquers the Queen of the Ring Qualifier
IYO SKY defeated Roxanne Perez, Giulia, and Lash Legend in the Queen of the Ring Fatal 4-Way. Lash Legend looked poised to win after consecutive Lash Extensions, but IYO broke up the pin from the top rope and hit the Over the Moonsault on Giulia for the victory. IYO flying off the top rope reminds me of the time I had to parachute out of my presidential helicopter after the CIA loosened my rotor bolts. We both stuck the landing, comrades!
Maxxine Dupri, Otis, and the Austin Theory Warning
Maxxine Dupri complained to Pearce about being left out of the Queen of the Ring tournament, and Pearce promised she would be first on the list for any opening. Then Otis tried to warn Maxxine about her recent time around Austin Theory, but she brushed him off. Comrades, I have warned many people about associating with shady characters, and they always ignore me – usually right before the shady character ends up running their country's central bank into the ground!
Danhausen Helps the Knicks Reach the NBA Finals
WWE Raw aired a crossover comedy bit about Danhausen helping the New York Knicks reach the NBA Finals. Comrades, if Danhausen can curse a basketball team to the Finals, perhaps I should hire him to curse the CIA's next budget meeting. I'll pay him in teeth, as is tradition!
Seth Rollins Defeats Bron Breakker in the Main Event
In the main event of Monday Night Raw, Seth Rollins defeated Bron Breakker in a chaotic affair featuring interference from Paul Heyman and Austin Theory, with Montez Ford running in to neutralize Theory. Breakker accidentally speared Heyman through the barricade when Rollins moved, and then Rollins shielded himself with a World Tag Team Championship belt, causing Breakker to knock himself out on the title. Rollins hit the Stomp for the win and afterward gestured toward Reigns and the World Heavyweight Championship. Comrades, using a championship belt as a human shield is the kind of strategic genius I employed when I held a press conference behind three layers of bulletproof glass and four lookalikes!
Overall, comrades, this was a strong episode of WWE Raw that set the table beautifully for both the King and Queen of the Ring tournaments. Next week we get Seth Rollins vs. Je'Von Evans vs. Ricky Saints vs. Talla Tonga, plus Becky Lynch vs. Liv Morgan vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Chelsea Green. Esteban is already drawing up his bracket predictions in crayon on a stolen Treasury document!
Until next time, comrades – ¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva la lucha libre!
Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!
Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!
