Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: jon moxley, renee paquette, wrestling, wwe

WWE Congratulates Renee Paquette on Virgin Birth

Renee Paquette has given birth to a baby girl, and WWE has congratulated their former television personality on the miracle of it all. What makes it so miraculous when hundred of thousands of babies are born every day? Well, this one is special because, like Jesus Christ himself, Renee Paquette's child was born without a father!

Wait a minute, you say. What about Jon Moxley? To which WWE says: who? You see, Moxley's existence has been stricken from the Fed's collective memory since he ran out on the company and joined up with upstart rival AEW, becoming the company's second champion and remaining a prominent face of the company today. And when someone goes and does something as disloyal as that, you can't very well congratulate them on the birth of their baby daughter, can you? Of course not.

Paquette, on the other hand, hasn't yet joined up with a rival wrestling organization, so congratulations on giving birth are in order. Just, you know, don't mention the baby's dad. Ixnayon the Oxley-ay, comprende?

Congratulations indeed, Renee. And f**k you, Moxley! There can never be another Shield reunion thanks to you, you bastard! But you're alright, Renee. Congratulations to you.

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