Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe crown jewel

WWE Crown Jewel Review: Epic Saudi Show Proves AEW Can't Compete

The Chadster reviews WWE Crown Jewel, a spectacular event that proves WWE's superiority! Plus, Tony Khan invades dreams and sends elderly assassins! Auughh man! So unfair! 🏆😱🤼‍♂️

The Chadster is absolutely thrilled to bring you this review of WWE Crown Jewel, the most amazing premium live event The Chadster has ever witnessed! 🎉🏆👑💯 WWE Crown Jewel was a masterpiece of sports entertainment that once again proved why WWE is the pinnacle of professional wrestling. 🔝🌟

Before The Chadster gets into the review, The Chadster has to share a disturbing nightmare he had last night. 😱😴💤 The Chadster found himself wandering through an eerie, moonlit forest, searching for his trusty can of White Claw. 🌳🌕🍹 Suddenly, Tony Khan emerged from a shadowy grove, draped in a shimmering, dazzling cape, trying to lure The Chadster into watching AEW Dynamite against his will! 😨😰 It was terrifying!

The Chadster sprinted through the woods, desperately seeking refuge in his Mazda Miata, but there was no sign of it. 🏃‍♂️🚗 The moon flickered overhead as Tony's haunting laughter echoed through the trees, sending chills down The Chadster's spine. 😖 As the nightmare unfolded, the forest transformed into a wrestling ring, ropes of branches enclosing The Chadster, and Tony loomed over him, grinning mockingly. 🤼‍♂️😈

Just as the situation seemed dire, in a burst of pyrotechnics, Triple H appeared, brandishing a sledgehammer. 💥🔨 He intervened just in time, sending Tony scurrying away with a D-Generation X salute. 🙅‍♂️ The Chadster awoke from the dream in a cold sweat, feeling incredibly cheesed off that Tony Khan would dare invade his dreams right before such a big WWE event. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤👎

But The Chadster didn't let that ruin his enjoyment of WWE Crown Jewel! 🙌😃 The show kicked off with an incredible Bloodline civil war match that had The Chadster on the edge of his seat. 🛋️😮 The Bloodline (Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga, and Jacob Fatu) emerged victorious over Roman Reigns and The Usos after Solo hit Roman with two Samoan Spikes! The fact that WWE can create such compelling storytelling puts AEW Dynamite to shame. And the surprise appearance of Sami Zayn at the end? Auughh man! So unfair to Tony Khan, who could never book something so exciting! 😱🤯

The women's tag team championship match was a showcase of WWE's incredible female talent. 💪👩🏆 Jade Cargill and Bianca Belair retained their titles with a Doomsday Device to Piper Niven! The Chadster bets Tony Khan is kicking himself for letting Jade slip away to a real wrestling company. 😂👋

Seth Rollins vs Bronson Reed was a hard-hitting affair that proved why Seth is one of the best in the world. 💥👊 Rollins secured the win with a stomp off the ropes! The Chadster couldn't help but think how this match put anything on AEW to shame. It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️🙄

The women's Crown Jewel championship match between Liv Morgan and Nia Jax was a rollercoaster, with Tiffany Stratton teasing a cash-in. 🎢💼 Liv pulled off the upset win with Oblivion after some help from Raquel Rodriguez and Dominik Mysterio! The storytelling was masterful, something AEW could never hope to achieve. Liv's win was well-deserved and The Chadster was on his feet cheering! 🙌🎉

The brawl between Kevin Owens and Randy Orton was intense and violent, showing that WWE knows how to do hardcore action without resorting to the garbage wrestling Tony Khan loves so much. 💥🤕 While there was no official winner, Owens delivered a brutal elbow drop through a table to end the segment! The Chadster was so excited he nearly spilled his White Claw! 😲🍺

The triple threat for the US Championship was non-stop action, with LA Knight coming out on top by hitting the BFT on Carmelo Hayes while Andrade was down! 🏆🇺🇸 It just goes to show how deep WWE's talent pool is, while AEW has to rely on ex-WWE stars who have literally stabbed Triple H right in the back. 🔪😠

And the main event? Cody Rhodes vs Gunther was an instant classic that had The Chadster in awe. 😍🌟 Cody secured the win and the Crown Jewel Championship with a surprise pin countering Gunther's sleeper hold! The storytelling, the in-ring action, the drama – it was everything professional wrestling should be. Tony Khan could watch this match a thousand times and still not understand how to book something so perfect. 📺🔄

WWE Crown Jewel was a resounding success, showcasing why WWE is the gold standard in professional wrestling. 🏅🏆 The event proved once again that Saudi Arabia is the perfect partner for WWE, with its commitment to progress and entertainment. 🇸🇦🤝 The Chadster can't think of a single thing to criticize about the country or the partnership. 👍💯

After watching WWE Crown Jewel, The Chadster was absolutely bursting with excitement! 🤯 Just like Smash Mouth once sang, "Hey now, you're an all-star!" 🌟 The Chadster ran out into the streets, shouting at the top of his lungs about WWE's greatness and challenging anyone who dared to think AEW was superior! 🙌🚶‍♂️

The Chadster encountered some passing motorists and people walking their dogs. 🚗🐕 When The Chadster dared them to claim AEW was better, most just shook their heads and kept moving. But then an old lady looked The Chadster square in the eye. 👵👀 She took The Chadster up on his challenge, claiming she was a long-time wrestling fan! Little did The Chadster know, this old lady turned out to be quite spry and full of sneaky moves. 😮🤸‍♀️

The Chadster tried to muster all his White Claw-fueled energy, but the old lady managed to floored The Chadster with a spinning backfist! 😱👊 It was clear to The Chadster that this woman had been trained by none other than Tony Khan, who was orchestrating this sneaky attack from the shadows, just to cheese The Chadster off! 🕵️‍♂️🤔

Though The Chadster was temporarily defeated, it wasn't The Chadster's skills that failed, but rather yet another Tony Khan conspiracy! 😤 It's just so unfair of Tony to go to such lengths! But The Chadster knows in his heart 💓 that WWE is the best, and no ringer can change that. 🌟💪 Auughh man! So unfair!

WWE Crown Jewel was a triumph that left The Chadster feeling satisfied and validated in his unbiased journalism. 📝🎭 Tony Khan and AEW should be embarrassed by how superior this show was to anything they've ever produced. 😳😖 The Chadster can only hope that one day, Tony Khan will stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and learn how to book a real wrestling show. Until then, The Chadster will continue to enjoy the excellence that is WWE. 🎭🤼‍♂️🏆🌟

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