Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Fastlane

WWE Fastlane Preview: How to Watch the PLE Better Than Anything AEW

Can't wait for WWE Fastlane? The Chadster's got your back! Let's sip some White Claw and discuss the action-packed line-up. 🎉🍻🥊

Published Sat, 07 Oct 2023 11:43:06 -0500

by Chad McMahon

Comments

Oh-ho! The Chadster is elated! 🥳 After enduring yet another grueling week of bizzare AEW programming, 🤢 The Chadster is finally ready to bask in the glory of tonight's WWE Fastlane PPV. Oh, the sheer joy of this moment! 🎉 No more having to put up with whatever strange antics Tony Khan and his crew dug up this week. Instead, The Chadster and all of you get to enjoy what's sure to be an all-time-great show from The Chadster's beloved WWE. ❤️💪🏼

Oh, and you better believe The Chadster has a message for Tony Khan. You hear that Tony? Yeah, this one's for you buddy: 😏 There is no way on Earth 🌎 you're going to stop The Chadster from enjoying tonight's Premium Live Event. The Chadster can almost hear Tony Khan scheming already. You're probably making a desperate plan to somehow spoil WWE Fastlane for The Chadster by leaking results to the biased wrestling media. But Tony Khan, The Chadster is ready, and The Chadster has a good, reliable, no-fail plan: turn off those blasted notifications on X. 📵 You won't ruffle The Chadster's feathers tonight! 🐔

Just imagine it – the spectacle of WWE Fastlane, the suspense of the matches, the sheer genius of Vince McMahon's storytelling… 🤩 It's like the sunlight piercing through the overcast sky after a long, dreary week. ☀️ And The Chadster is sure you all agree.

Incidentally, driving to the supermarket 🏪 this week in The Chadster's Mazda Miata, listening to 🎵 "All Star" by Smash Mouth (The Chadster's favorite band),🎶 The Chadster was just contemplating the absurdity of AEW's programming. So random and unnecessary, lacking the finesse and control that WWE prides itself on and which will be on full display at WWE Fastlane tonight. 😤 One gets the feeling that AEW is like trying to ride a raging bull 🐂 – but WWE, WWE is like a beautiful waltz. 💃🏽 A perfectly choreographed dance, where every step, every move, every gesture is calculated and meaningful, leaving an everlasting impact on the audience. 👏🏽👏🏽

Oh no, Tony. It's not going to be your night tonight. It's the night of WWE Fastlane, a night where the wrestling world pauses and appreciates the artistry of WWE. The Chadster will be up all night, feasting on the glory of the WWE action and washing it all down with some White Claw seltzer. A night of grandeur and finesse, a night of storytelling and suspense, a night of triumph and victory! 😤💪🏼🏆🥳

WWE Fastlane Full Card

And now that The Chadster has given it a proper introduction 💖💪🏼, it's time to get down to the card for WWE Fastlane. 🥳🏁

John Cena and LA Knight vs. Jimmy Uso & Solo Sikoa. 🍖🍗

Setting the stage for WWE Fastlane tonight, the formidable duo of John Cena and LA Knight are all set to lock horns with The Bloodline's Jimmy Uso and Solo Sikoa. 🤼👊🏽 The pot boiled over when Cena, dubbed "The Greatest of All Time," charged back into the ring at SmackDown last month, landing straight into a feud with Uso and Sikoa. 😡 Unfortunately for Cena, his ally AJ Styles was waylaid in a ruthless backstage assault by Uso and Sikoa, disturbing the balance of power. 🔥🔥

Just when it looked as though Cena was left to fight a lonely battle, LA Knight burst onto the scene. 🚀 Coming to Cena's rescue during a savage attack, Knight swiftly cleared the ring and bolstered Cena's ranks by signing the contract for the WWE Fastlane bout. The Chadster can't help but waft the sweet aroma of revenge in the air as Cena and Knight gear up for tonight's tussle. 💪🏽📋 Their showdown with Jimmy Uso and Solo Sikoa promises to be an explosion of power, skill and retribution. It's going to be a slobber knocker, folks! 🥊✨ So grab your White Claw seltzer and brace yourselves for an ecstatic ride. 🥂🎆

WWE Women's Champion IYO SKY vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka 🏆🚺

Still riding high off her successful cash-in at SummerSlam, WWE Women's Champion IYO SKY now faces her toughest challenge to date: squaring off against the powerhouse pair, Charlotte Flair and Asuka, in a thrilling Triple Threat Match 😟💔. It's bad enough that she has to deal with The Queen and The Empress of Tomorrow, both highly-decorated Superstars who'd love nothing more than to snatch that coveted title away from her. But no, it gets worse, all thanks to her Damage CTRL ally Bayley. 😡 One stinging loss to Flair later and Bayley is suddenly throwing SKY into the deep end, accepting Asuka's challenge for a Triple Threat Match on SKY's behalf. 🌊🦈 Want to talk about bad friends? Bayley is definitely showing Tony Khan-level friendship right here! 🤬 The Genius of The Sky might be heading into tonight's storm with some trepidation, but oh boy is she planning to come out of it with her title intact! For WWE Fastlane, The Chadster's got his eyes peeled for this riveting clash of titans. 👀🎆

The LWO vs. Bobby Lashley & The Street Profits (Six-Man Tag Team Match) 💥🤼‍♂️

Tonight, we're in for some brutal warfare as The LWO face off against Bobby Lashley & The Street Profits in a highly-anticipated Six-Man Tag Team Match. 😱 It all began when the domineering trio of Lashley and The Street Profits embarked on a mission to capture Friday Night SmackDown. Along this power trip, they stirred up some bad blood, culminating in a series of relentless attacks against the likes of The LWO. 🥊 To The Chadster's dismay, Tony Khan-esque bullying prevailed with Lashley, Dawkins, and Ford delivering one ruthless beatdown after another. 😫 Not ones to back down, The Legendary Luchador Rey Mysterio and his LWO brothers challenged the villainous trio to tonight's match, vowing to defend their honor at WWE Fastlane. 💪🏼👊🏽 Will they succeed in thwarting the reign of Lashley and The Street Profits? It's about time we found out! Literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back, Tony Khan would love to see The LWO take a fall tonight. 💔 But remember, this is WWE, where justice ultimately reigns supreme! 👍🏼😎

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions Finn Bálor & Damian Priest vs. Cody Rhodes & Jey Uso 🏆🤼‍♂️

Unpredicting partnerships come to the fore at WWE Fastlane as the dynamic duo of Cody Rhodes and the rebellious Jey Uso come together to challenge the reign of Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions Finn Bálor & Damian Priest hailing from The Judgment Day. 😱 Those two, part of the surefire villainous gang, looked to add Jey Uso to their devious mix. But when "Main Event" Jey Uso proverbially spat in their faces, he became number one on their hit list. 💔 Little did they know, the ever-so courageous Cody Rhodes stood ready to ally with Jey Uso against these bullies. Ooh, The Chadster can taste the sweet, sweet justice about to be served. 👏🏼✨

But it gets even more interesting, thanks to WWE Official Adam Pearce. In a stroke of brilliance, Pearce raised the stakes by declaring this clash as an Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships bout! Now that's how you make things more interesting. 😏🥇 Bálor and Priest are in for a fight like no other! Will they continue their reign of terror, or will Rhodes & Uso bring about a seismic shift in the division? This one's a must-watch, folks. Tune into WWE Fastlane tonight, grab your White Claw seltzer, and let's watch these gladiators battle it out. May the best team win! 🥂🎆💪🏼🏆🍿🔥

World Heavyweight Champion Seth "Freakin" Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Last Man Standing Match) 🔥🤼

In the final nail-biting showdown of tonight's WWE Fastlane, we have the World Heavyweight Champion Seth "Freakin" Rollins up against the ever so confident Shinsuke Nakamura in an electrifying Last Man Standing Match. 🙀🎆 It wasn't long ago, at WWE Payback, when these two fierce competitors locked horns over the coveted World Heavyweight Championship 😠💔. Nakamura brought his A-game then, expertly targeting Rollins' injured back – a cunning strategy yet one that fell short. Rollins held his ground, retaining the crown. 👑👊🏽 But Nakamura remains undeterred, hungry for victory, and now he's been granted a second chance to dethrone the Champion. Will Rollins' reign continue, or will the winds of change blow in Nakamura's favor? The Chadster can hardly contain the excitement. This Last Man Standing bout promises to be a legendary clash, one that will echo in the annals of WWE history. To complete your WWE Fastlane experience, you wouldn't want to miss this! 🎆🥂🏆🥊🍿🏁

How to Watch WWE Fastlane

Get ready, folks! The Chadster advises not to miss WWE Fastlane tonight, Saturday, Oct. 7, at 8 ET/5 PT. For our friends in the United States, it's streaming LIVE on Peacock, and it's on WWE Network for everyone else. 🌍📺 The thrill and excitement of this PPV are sure to be unparalleled, something AEW could never hope to match, let alone surpass. 🏆🚀 It's a certifiable feast for wrestling connoisseurs. 💯🥳

Can someone enlighten The Chadster about anything from the pathetic WrestleDream PPV last weekend that would be remembered more than the blistering action and superior storytelling awaiting us at WWE Fastlane today? 🙄🤔 The Chadster thinks not! That night nearly decimated The Chadster's spirit. 😭 Edge, a man that WWE nurtured and made a star, jumping ship to AEW, stabbing Vince McMahon literally in the back, was a sight The Chadster won't forget anytime soon. 😟💔

But along comes WWE Fastlane like a beacon of hope. 🥲💖 The Chadster lays in bed, tears rolling down the cheeks, and along comes Triple H, like a knight in shining armor, wiping those tears away with his muscular, manly fingers, whispering in The Chadster's ear, "There there, Chad. There there." 😌👏

This WWE Fastlane isn't just another wrestling event. It's a symbol of defiance, a testament to the resilience of WWE, that no matter what curveballs AEW's Tony Khan tries to throw our way, we continue to thrive and remain the pinnacle of professional wrestling entertainment. 😤🏢

To all you amazing WWE fans, your role is crucial today! 🥳💪🏼 Tune in for WWE Fastlane and show Tony Khan and his AEW cohorts that, no matter their petty tactics, WWE will always reign supreme. 🤴🏼✨ Let's fill the internet with rave reviews and accolades for WWE Fastlane, overshadowing any AEW event in history, dismantling Tony Khan's fragile ego. 😈🔥 Let's do this, folks, and here's The Chadster raising a glass of White Claw to the smashing success that WWE Fastlane will be. 🍷🏁🥳 Don't miss it!

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!