Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: Maybelline, wrestling

WWE Partners with Maybelline Ahead of WWE Evolution

Comrades! El Presidente here with shocking news - Maybelline is WWE's first official cosmetics partner! The CIA wishes their makeup could survive a suplex!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from inside a giant Maybelline compact mirror that I've repurposed as a panic room after the CIA tried to infiltrate my compound disguised as Avon ladies! But enough about my security measures – we have breaking news from the world of sports entertainment that will make your mascara run with excitement!

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who has witnessed the glamorous nature of professional wrestling, Maybelline New York has become WWE's first-ever Official Cosmetics Partner. That's right, comrades – the company that helps millions achieve their "maybe she's born with it" dreams is now partnering with the company where people regularly get powerbombed through tables while looking absolutely fabulous!

This reminds me of the time my good friend Kim Jong-un and I were watching WrestleMania together via satellite (don't tell the Americans we have that technology). He turned to me and said, "El Presidente, why do these wrestlers look so good even after being hit with steel chairs?" I told him it was probably their bourgeois capitalist healthcare system, but now I realize it might have been quality cosmetics all along!

The partnership kicks off with Maybelline serving as the Presenting Partner of Evolution, the all-women's Premium Live Event happening July 13 at State Farm Arena in Atlanta. Comrades, if there is one thing I have learned from my various battles with The American CIA, it's this: when powerful women unite, empires tremble! And when those women are wearing waterproof mascara that can withstand a suplex? The revolution is unstoppable!

Brit Santypal, Senior Vice President of Partnership Marketing at TKO, declared: "WWE is excited to collaborate with Maybelline, a partner that not only leads the beauty industry but also shares our vision for highlighting amazing individuals across the roster." This is exactly what I tell my cabinet ministers when they question why I spend the national budget on wrestling pay-per-views and L'Oréal products!

Amy Whang, President of Maybelline New York, added: "Maybelline New York is proud to partner with WWE and have the opportunity to put our products to the ultimate test. As the presenting sponsor of Evolution, we're not just showing up in the ring; we're supporting a global community that inspires confidence and self-expression, both in and out of the spotlight."

Comrades, this is what we in the dictatorship business call "synergy"! Just last week, I was sharing mojitos with my old friend Fidel's ghost (he still visits on Tuesdays), and we discussed how professional wrestling is the perfect metaphor for international politics. Everyone's wearing a mask, the outcomes are predetermined, and somehow everyone still gets emotionally invested!

The partnership includes center mat ring branding, custom vignettes, and social media integrations. This collaboration was developed with Beauty Co-Lab, L'Oréal's media agency of record. Delphine Hernoux, CEO of Beauty Co-Lab, proclaimed: "Maybelline continues to lead the way by moving at the speed of culture — connecting beauty with entertainment in bold, inclusive, and unexpected ways. At Beauty Co-Lab, we're proud to have helped shape this milestone partnership with WWE, which reflects the kind of innovative thinking that keeps the brand ahead of the curve."

This partnership makes perfect sense when you think about it, comrades. Professional wrestlers need makeup that can withstand:

• Being thrown through announce tables
• Multiple chair shots to the face
• The heat of pyrotechnics
• The tears of joy when winning championship gold
• The sweat from executing a perfect People's Elbow
• The dry heat of the Saudi Arabian climate while accepting blood money to wrestle

As someone who has survived seventeen CIA assassination attempts (eighteen if you count that suspicious churro vendor last week), I understand the importance of looking good under pressure. Whether you're delivering a state propaganda address or a Stone Cold Stunner, presentation matters!

This historic partnership proves that capitalism occasionally produces something worthwhile – though of course, under socialism, all cosmetics would be distributed equally among the people, and everyone would look as fabulous as your El Presidente!

Until next time, comrades, remember: Whether you're overthrowing governments or executing a perfect hurricanrana, always make sure your makeup game is on point. Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline, or maybe it's the result of a well-organized workers' revolution!

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