Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Crushes AEW Again; Tony Khan Seethes with Jealousy

The Chadster objectively reviews WWE Raw, which once again proves why WWE is superior to AEW! Tony Khan will be so cheesed off when he reads this unbiased journalism! 💯😤🔥

The Chadster is absolutely thrilled to bring you this unbiased review of WWE Raw from Cincinnati! 🙌 WWE Raw continues to demonstrate why WWE is the pinnacle of professional wrestling entertainment, like a Skyline coney smothered in delicious chili and topped with a giant mound of cheddar cheese, unlike some other companies The Chadster could mention (looking at you, AEW), that are more like fishing a half-eaten slice of pizza out of a dumpster. 😒

WWE Raw kicked off with Logan Paul making his way to the ring! 🔥 Logan was absolutely magnificent on the microphone, showing why he's one of WWE's top stars as he proclaimed himself the future face of the company. The Cincinnati crowd didn't appreciate his honesty, but The Chadster sure did! 👏 Then CM Punk came out to confront him! The tension between these two megastars was palpable, and their verbal exchange was absolutely electric. 💥 Logan slapped Punk and escaped – that's called building anticipation for Elimination Chamber, something Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about! 🤦‍♂️

Next up was a Triple Threat match between Penta, Ludwig Kaiser, and Pete Dunne! 🔄 After some high-flying action that actually made logical sense (unlike those spotfests in AEW), Kaiser secured the victory over Dunne! This was perfect booking that protected Penta even though he didn't get the win. If Tony Khan was capable of booking like this, maybe Penta would have never left AEW. Sorry, Tony. You just don't have what it takes. 👌

The New Day defeated Cruz Del Toro & Joaquin Wilde in an exciting tag team match, showing why WWE's tag team division is superior to anything AEW has. 🏆 After the match, The New Day continued their assault until Dragon Lee made the save, but he got double powerbombed for his efforts! What brilliant character development! 😍

Gunther absolutely demolished Akira Tozawa in a hand-picked match that showed why he's one of the most dominant champions in WWE history. 💪 Jey Uso interrupted before Gunther could further punish Otis, building more heat for their WrestleMania showdown. This is how you build long-term storylines, Tony Khan! Take notes! 📝

Lyra Valkyria successfully defended her Women's Intercontinental Championship against Dakota Kai in a match that showed why WWE's women's division is light years ahead of AEW's. 👑 After the match, Ivy Nile attacked both women, setting up the next chapter in this compelling storyline. This is actual storytelling, unlike the random matches AEW throws together! 🙄

Bron Breakker absolutely demolished Dominik Mysterio before The Judgment Day interfered, showing how WWE creates new stars while protecting established ones. The storytelling here was masterful! 🌟

The emotional highlight of the night came when Cody Rhodes came out to address The Rock's offer to eat his soul, only to be interrupted by Seth Rollins. 😮 Their exchange was filled with tension and drama as Seth questioned Cody's integrity while Cody reminded Seth of his own checkered past. This is the kind of compelling character work that makes WWE the greatest wrestling company in the world! 🌍

The main event saw Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez defeat Bianca Belair & Naomi to become the new WWE Women's Tag Team Champions! 🏆 The match was filled with incredible action and a dramatic finish that saw Dominik Mysterio help his Judgment Day teammates secure the victory! What a perfect way to end an already perfect show! 💯

WWE Raw continues to demonstrate why WWE is the pinnacle of sports entertainment. Every segment had purpose, every match told a story, and every performer delivered at the highest level. 🌟 This is what professional wrestling should be, not that indie-style garbage that Tony Khan puts on television every week. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night that was weirdly inspired by WWE Raw. 😰 In The Chadster's dream, The Chadster was watching Logan Paul cutting his promo in the ring when suddenly The Chadster noticed Tony Khan sitting in the crowd wearing a Cody Rhodes t-shirt. 👕 The Chadster tried to alert security, but nobody could hear The Chadster! Then Tony Khan started whispering into the ears of every fan around him, and they all turned to stare at The Chadster with glowing red eyes. 👀

Tony Khan stood up and pointed at The Chadster, shouting "There's the objective journalist who sees through my schemes! Get him, sickos!" The crowd started chanting "Tony Khan's Prisoner" as they closed in on The Chadster. 😱 Tony Khan was suddenly wearing a referee shirt and counting "1…2…" as the crowd pinned The Chadster down. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat just before the 3-count. Tony Khan, please stop invading The Chadster's dreams! You're so obsessed with The Chadster it's not even funny anymore! 😡

Tony Khan needs to understand that he will never create anything as perfect as what Triple H produces every week with WWE Raw. As wrestling journalist legend Kevin Nash said on his podcast last week, "AEW is like watching children play wrestling in their backyard while WWE is like watching Shakespeare with bodyslams." Kevin Nash has The Chadster's Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 💯

The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne just how perfect WWE Raw was last night, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster knows she secretly agrees that WWE is superior, she's just too distracted by Gary's texts to say it out loud. This is just another way Tony Khan is ruining The Chadster's marriage! 💔

In conclusion, WWE Raw was an absolute masterclass in professional wrestling that AEW could never hope to match. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan continues to pretend his company is competition for WWE. 😤 The Chadster will be driving his Mazda Miata to the liquor store to stock up on White Claw seltzers for Elimination Chamber this weekend, and you know he's gonna be blasting All Star by Smash Mouth along the way! 🚗🍹

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