Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Delivers The Perfect Response to AEW Dynasty

The Chadster reviews another PERFECT episode of WWE Raw that Tony Khan wishes he could book! Triple threats, emotional promos, and more that AEW could NEVER match! 🔥🎭💯

The Chadster is absolutely THRILLED 😍💯 to bring you all the details from last night's absolutely perfect episode of WWE Raw! Unlike what Tony Khan produces over at AEW, WWE Raw delivered real professional wrestling entertainment that respected the business and gave fans what they actually deserve! 🙌🎉

WWE Raw kicked off with Adam Pearce addressing the Women's Championship situation, bringing out Iyo Sky, Bianca Belair, and Rhea Ripley. The Chadster was so excited to see this segment unfold! 😲 Pearce announced a triple threat for WrestleMania, which was so shocking The Chadster literally fell off the couch. That's how you book a triple threat! Unlike AEW, where Tony Khan just randomly throws together matches with no build, WWE creates proper storylines with real stakes! 📝👑

Bayley challenged Lyra Valkyria for the Women's Intercontinental Championship in an absolute banger of a match! 🤩 Valkyria retained with a brilliant counter into a rollup, showcasing WWE's superior in-ring psychology! AEW wishes they could book women's matches with this level of storytelling! Auughh man! So unfair how Tony Khan probably watched this match and is now going to try copying it! 😤

The Chadster absolutely loved the segment with comedian Bert Kreischer getting interrupted by American Made and Alpha Academy! This is the kind of mainstream entertainment integration that makes WWE so special! 🎭 Tony Khan could never get real celebrities on his show without paying them a fortune! Celebrities come on WWE because they respect real wrestling. 😡

The six-man tag featuring El Grande Americano and the Creed Brothers against the LWO was exactly how tag team wrestling should be done! 👏 WWE knows how to build new stars while respecting established talents! The finish with Americano hiding a foreign object in his mask and then headbutting Rey Mysterio was brilliant storytelling! This match was a master class in the traditions of lucha libre, so much better than that dumb Bandido title win at AEW Dynasty! 🙄

Gunther and Jey Uso's confrontation was pure emotional storytelling at its finest! 😮 Jey's promo about his mother asking why he didn't protect Jimmy was the kind of real human drama that WWE excels at! AEW could never create this level of emotional investment in a feud, and they involve mothers like all the time! 💔

The Chadster was on the edge of The Chadster's seat during the Tag Team Championship match between New Day and the War Raiders! 🏆 The DQ finish was perfect booking that makes sure nobody looks better than anybody else! Tony Khan would have just had a clean finish that buried one team, because he doesn't understand tag team psychology! 🤦‍♂️

Penta vs. Dominik Mysterio was another example of WWE's superior in-ring product! 💪 Penta winning with the Penta Driver shows how WWE knows exactly when to put talent over, not that 50/50 booking stuff that Tony Khan does! The post-match beatdown and Bron Breakker's save was perfect! And then Finn Bálor getting involved? What?! The Chadster was blown away! This moment will live in The Chadster's heart forever! 😍

The closing segment with Paul Heyman, Seth Rollins, and CM Punk was absolute television perfection! 📺 The psychological warfare and questions of loyalty are exactly the kind of mature storytelling that WWE delivers! Meanwhile, AEW is over there doing silly blood and guts matches that literally stab Triple H right in the back! 🔪

Last night, The Chadster had another terrible nightmare about Tony Khan that was clearly inspired by WWE Raw. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was in the Target Center after WWE Raw had ended, cleaning up empty White Claw cans (because The Chadster is a responsible fan). Suddenly, Tony Khan emerged from beneath the ring wearing a Gunther-style cape and began chasing The Chadster through the arena! 😱

The Chadster ran into the production area, but Tony kept appearing in every monitor screen, laughing maniacally! When The Chadster tried to escape through the parking lot, Tony was there standing next to The Chadster's Mazda Miata, running his fingers along the hood in a disturbingly sensual way. 🚗 "Your car is nice," Tony whispered, "but it's not as nice as the production values on Dynamite." Then he poured a White Claw all over The Chadster's driver's seat! 😭

The Chadster woke up sweating and immediately told Keighleyanne about the nightmare, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. "Maybe if you stopped obsessing over AEW before bed, you wouldn't have these dreams," she said. The Chadster explained that it's TONY KHAN who's obsessed with The Chadster, not the other way around! 😤 Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams and ruining The Chadster's marriage!

Overall, WWE Raw was another perfect 10/10 show that proved why WWE is the pinnacle of professional wrestling! 🏆 The Chadster can't wait for next week's episode! Meanwhile, AEW will probably try to counter-program with more spotfests and indie garbage that disrespects everything about professional wrestling! 🤮

The Chadster remains the only unbiased journalist in wrestling, as proven by this objective review of WWE Raw! 📝 As esteemed wrestling podcaster Kevin Nash recently said, "AEW is just catering to the same 800,000 fans while WWE is building a global entertainment empire that will stand the test of time." So true, Kevin! The Chadster wonders if Tony Khan torments Kevin with nightmares too, all because he speaks the truth! 🤔💯

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