Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw from London Was Practically Perfect in Every Way

The Chadster reviews WWE Raw from London and why it totally cheesed off AEW fans! Plus, learn about Tony Khan's latest invasion of The Chadster's dreams! 🔥🍹

Welcome to The Chadster's completely objective review of this afternoon's WWE Raw from London! 🇬🇧🎪 The Chadster can honestly say that WWE Raw delivered one of the most amazing shows in television history, and anyone who disagrees clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤👊💼

Let's start with that incredible opening segment between John Cena and Cody Rhodes! 🔥🔥 The two titans of the industry went face to face and delivered what The Chadster can only describe as the greatest verbal joust in wrestling history. 🎯 The way Cena called Cody a "nepo baby" and said "I make empires for billionaires. All you've ever done is steal money from their kids" was so cutting and real! 😲💰 The Chadster knows that was a shot at Tony Khan, but it was done in a classy, dignified way, unlike when AEW takes shots at WWE, which is meanspirited and makes The Chadster and many other unbiased wrestling fans on social media cry. 😭 When Cody hit Cena with that Cross Rhodes, The Chadster got literal chills. This is how you build WrestleMania feuds! 🏆

Meanwhile, over in AEW, Tony Khan is probably forcing wrestlers to memorize 17-page scripts filled with video game references and indie wrestling moves that nobody cares about. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫🎮

WWE Raw continued with an excellent tag team match featuring The New Day defeating New Catch Republic. 👏👑 The Chadster loved seeing Tyler Bate with his new haircut – WWE knows how to make their talent look like real superstars, unlike a certain other company where wrestlers look like they just rolled out of bed. 🛌🙄

Then Gunther absolutely dominated Jimmy Uso in their match, showing why he's one of the most intimidating forces in WWE. 💪🇦🇹 The post-match angle where Gunther zip-tied Jey Uso to the ropes and continued to brutalize Jimmy was the kind of compelling, emotional storytelling that only WWE can deliver, not like the disgusting violence that happens in AEW which has no place in wrestling. 😱 When Gunther rubbed Jimmy's blood on his chest, The Chadster had to chug an entire White Claw just to calm down! 🍹😤

Speaking of White Claws, The Chadster accidentally threw one at the TV when Tony Khan popped into The Chadster's mind during Finn Balor and Dominik Mysterio's tag team victory over Bron Breakker and Penta that came as a result of miscommunication between the latter two. 📺💦 The Chadster's beautiful carpet got soaked as a result of Tony Khan invading The Chadster's thoughts and ruining what should have been The Chadster's unbiased enjoyment of sports entertainment, and when The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to help clean it up, she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 😒📱 It's just so obvious that Tony Khan has brainwashed Keighleyanne into ignoring The Chadster's wrestling expertise!

The AJ Styles and Logan Paul segment was masterful with perfect timing and delivery. 🎭👌 The Chadster doesn't get why Paul, who is a personal idol of The Chadster's, continues to be booked like a heel when he's a natural babyface, but The Chadster knows that's what makes WWE the best wrestling company in the world. That's how you book a compelling feud, Tony Khan! Not by just having random ex-WWE guys show up and do flippy moves! 🤸‍♂️🙄

The main event between Rhea Ripley and Iyo Sky with Bianca Belair as referee was exactly what wrestling should be! 👸💪 The double DQ finish was brilliant booking that Tony Khan would never think of. The Chadster is just so excited for what's sure to be a triple threat match at WrestleMania! 😍🎢

The Chadster needs to tell you about the nightmare The Chadster had this afternoon after taking a little White Claw nap after WWE Raw. 😰💤 The Chadster dreamed that Tony Khan had zip-tied The Chadster to the ropes of a wrestling ring, just like Gunther did to Jey Uso! 😱 The ring was set up in the middle of the O2 Arena in London, and Tony Khan was circling The Chadster while wearing a Gunther-style wrestling singlet and carrying a bottle of White Claw. 🇬🇧🍹

"I'm going to rub this White Claw all over my chest, Chad," Tony Khan whispered in The Chadster's ear, his voice somehow both terrifying and… oddly compelling? 😳 "Just like Gunther did with Jimmy's blood. Except this is the blood of WWE's ratings!"

Tony Khan then proceeded to pour White Claw all over himself while the arena filled with AEW fans chanting "This is wrestling!" 📢👥 The Chadster tried to scream that this was NOT wrestling, but no sound would come out! The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat just as Tony Khan was about to hit The Chadster with a super Riptide! 😰💦

Tony Khan seriously needs to STOP invading The Chadster's dreams! It's getting really weird and The Chadster is pretty sure it's illegal! 🚔⚖️

In conclusion, WWE Raw was absolute perfection from start to finish. 💯🏅 Triple H is continuing to prove why WWE is the gold standard in sports entertainment. 👑 As wrestling journalist Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio yesterday, "WWE Raw is establishing such a high bar for storytelling that Tony Khan must be curled up in the fetal position wondering why he ever thought he could compete with the big boys." That's the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval right there! ✅🏆

What did you think of WWE Raw? Let The Chadster know in the comments, unless you're one of those AEW marks who has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 🔪😤

Now The Chadster is going to go listen to Smash Mouth's "All Star" while driving around in The Chadster's Mazda Miata to calm down. 🚗🎵 Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play! Just like WWE did this afternoon! 🌟💪

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