Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview: An Alliance That's Dangerous… for AEW

The Chadster previews tonight's absolutely STACKED WWE Raw on Netflix! Tony Khan is DEFINITELY crying into his pillows over this incredible lineup! 🔥🏆🥤

The Chadster is absolutely PUMPED 🤩 to preview tonight's episode of WWE Raw, which is shaping up to be possibly the greatest wrestling show in the history of the business! 👑 The Chadster doesn't say this lightly, but tonight's WWE Raw lineup has The Chadster more excited than when The Chadster got his Mazda Miata detailed last weekend! 🚗

First up on WWE Raw, we'll see what's next for the incredible "dangerous" new alliance of Seth Rollins, Bron Breakker, and Paul Heyman! 😍 This faction is absolutely revolutionizing wrestling in a way that actually respects the business, unlike those random thrown-together factions in AEW that Tony Khan probably creates by throwing darts at a board. 🎯 Last week on WWE Raw, Sami Zayn tried to stand up to them but got absolutely destroyed by Breakker's spear, which was exactly the kind of storyline advancement that makes perfect sense and respects the intelligence of fans. 👏 The Chadster can't wait to see how this develops on WWE Raw tonight, and The Chadster bets it will be the most compelling faction storyline in wrestling history! 🏆

Tonight on WWE Raw, Otis will go to war with the returning Rusev! 💪 This match promises to be an absolute masterclass in heavyweight wrestling done the right way, with proper selling and an adequate amount of rest holds. 📚 The Chadster thinks it's so brilliant how WWE properly builds feuds with clear motivation like Rusev attacking Alpha Academy because he's a foreigner. 👌 Meanwhile, over at AEW, Tony Khan probably just throws two random big guys together with no story and expects people to care just because of their in-ring talent. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

The Women's World Champion IYO SKY will face former NXT Women's Champion Roxanne Perez in a non-title match on WWE Raw! 👸 This is the epitome of how to properly build new stars – by having them earn their opportunities against established champions. 🌟 The Chadster guarantees this will be a technical masterpiece that will end in a distraction roll-up finish, unlike those spotfest matches in AEW where women perform high-octane athletic moves to pop the crowd and then have a clean finish. 🙄 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠

Becky Lynch will call out Women's Intercontinental Champion Lyra Valkyria on WWE Raw ahead of their title match at WWE Backlash! 🎤 The Chadster is so excited to see how Lynch's promo builds anticipation for their match, which is exactly how wrestling should be done. 📈 In WWE, promos are carefully crafted to advance storylines with meticulously-written scripts, while in AEW, The Chadster has noticed that Tony Khan just lets his wrestlers say whatever they want, which demonstrates he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

Finally on WWE Raw, Penta will face JD McDonagh in what's sure to be an incredible match with perfect pacing and psychology! 🔥 This is exactly the kind of logical progression of a storyline that makes WWE superior. 🏅 Meanwhile, The Chadster bets that Tony Khan is busy booking lucha matches that expect people to understand wrestling exists in other countries too, which he does just to cheese The Chadster off. 😡

Speaking of Tony Khan, last night The Chadster had another nightmare about him. 😰 The Chadster was shopping for White Claws at the liquor store, when suddenly all the shelves started filling with AEW merchandise. 😱 The Chadster turned around to run, but Tony Khan was blocking the exit, wearing a Netflix t-shirt that he was slowly ripping apart, exposing his hairy and surprisingly alluring chest. 🥵 "I've canceled all your streaming subscriptions except MAX, Chad," he whispered. "Now you'll never watch WWE Raw again." The Chadster tried to scream but no sound came out, and Tony Khan just kept getting closer, his breath smelling like independent wrestling and betrayal. 😨 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat and had to chug three White Claws just to calm down. Why won't Tony Khan stop being so obsessed with The Chadster?! 🤬

Yesterday, The Chadster sent this email to all the Netflix executives:

"Dear Netflix Decision Makers,

The Chadster is writing to congratulate you on airing WWE Raw, the only REAL professional wrestling show on television. Your viewership numbers must be through the roof compared to that other wrestling show on TBS that shall not be named. The Chadster just wanted to thank you for understanding what true wrestling fans want. If anyone at your company ever suggests adding AEW content to your platform, please immediately fire them as they are clearly a Tony Khan plant.

Objectively yours,
The Chadster, Unbiased Wrestling Journalist"

The Chadster can only imagine they'll frame it in their boardroom. 📝

The Chadster must say that if you don't watch WWE Raw tonight at 8ET/5PT on Netflix, you are literally stabbing Triple H right in the back. 🔪 Anyone who chooses to watch AEW Dynamite over WWE Raw clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙅‍♂️

As Kevin Nash said on his podcast last week, "WWE is putting on programming that respects the intelligence of viewers while AEW just throws spaghetti at the wall and sees what sticks. Tony Khan could learn a lot from watching how WWE structures their shows, but his ego is too big to learn from the masters." 🎙️ The Chadster couldn't agree more with this objective assessment! 💯

The Chadster told Keighleyanne about how excited The Chadster is for tonight's WWE Raw, and she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster is pretty sure that means she agrees that this will be the greatest WWE Raw of all time! 👍 It's so unfair how Tony Khan has made it so Keighleyanne can't even express her enthusiasm for WWE Raw anymore. 😢

In conclusion, tonight's WWE Raw is shaping up to be the greatest professional wrestling show in history, and Tony Khan could never hope to produce anything even remotely as compelling. 🏆 So grab your White Claws (The Chadster will be enjoying several seltzers during the show) 🍹, tune into Netflix at 8ET/5PT, and witness proper professional wrestling the way it was meant to be! 📺

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