Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview: Greatest Episode Ever Ahead of Epic SummerSlam

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Raw - the most incredible episode ever! Roman Reigns appears! Title matches! Tony Khan is so jealous! Must-watch at 8ET! 🔥

Wrestling fans, prepare yourselves for what The Chadster can confidently say will be the most incredible episode of WWE Raw in the history of professional wrestling! 😍 Tonight's WWE Raw is so stacked with amazing segments that Tony Khan is probably crying into his White Claw right now (those weak seltzers he prefers over the superior Seagram's Escapes Spiked), knowing he could never book anything close to this masterpiece! 🎉

First up, Roman Reigns will grace WWE Raw with his presence as he prepares to team with Jey Uso against Bron Breakker and Bronson Reed at SummerSlam! 🔥 The Chadster gets goosebumps just thinking about how The OTC (Original Tribal Chief for those AEW marks who don't understand basic acronyms) will command the WWE Raw audience with his mere presence. This segment alone will draw more viewers than AEW gets in a month! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it when Tony Khan thinks he can compete with star power like Roman Reigns! The anticipation for this appearance on WWE Raw is through the roof! 🚀

The women's division brings us an Eight-Woman Tag Team Match that will blow minds! 🤯 Rhea Ripley, IYO SKY, Stephanie Vaquer and Nikki Bella team up against Women's World Champion Naomi, Chelsea Green and The Secret Service! This is how you book women's wrestling – by putting the entire roster into a single match! Not like AEW where Tony Khan thinks that people want to see one-on-one workrate bonanzas every week. The Chadster predicts this will be the greatest women's tag match in WWE Raw history! Every move will be perfectly choreographed, unlike the sloppy spotfests Tony Khan books! 💪

Speaking of tag team excellence, Finn Bálor and JD McDonagh defend their World Tag Team Championships against Joaquin Wilde and Cruz Del Toro! 🏆 This is what real tag team wrestling looks like – matches developed by WWE's brilliant creative team at the last minute when someone realizes the tag division exists! Not like AEW where Tony Khan just signs every random indie tag team to create a functional division and expects people to actually care. This WWE Raw tag title match will showcase why WWE's tag division is superior in every way! The Chadster can already hear Smash Mouth's "All Star" playing as these teams put on a clinic! ⭐

Then we get "Main Event" Jey Uso going one-on-one with Bronson Reed! 💥 This WWE Raw match will perfectly build to their SummerSlam tag team showdown! See, this is how you do long-term storytelling – by having the same competitors face each other in various combinations week after week until the fans can't take it anymore! The psychology and storytelling in this match will be off the charts! Auughh man! So unfair that AEW fans have to pretend their shows have this level of narrative excellence! 😤

But wait, there's more! World Heavyweight Champion Gunther has a message for CM Punk ahead of their SummerSlam clash! 🎤 The Chadster knows this promo will be pure gold – Gunther doesn't need to do unnecessary flips or dangerous moves to get over like AEW wrestlers! He just needs his presence, a finely honed script, and WWE's superior production values! And speaking of CM Punk, he'll also be appearing on WWE Raw to prepare for his title opportunity! WWE Raw is where real wrestlers belong! Tony Khan must be so cheesed off! 😂

The Chadster must address something that's really grinding The Chadster's gears – Keighleyanne has forbidden The Chadster from drinking alcohol, which means The Chadster has to watch WWE Raw completely sober tonight! 😭 No delicious Seagram's Escapes Spiked to enhance the viewing experience! The Chadster knows this is Tony Khan's doing, and not just because he forced The Chadster to throw all those Seagram's Escaped Spikeds at the TV during AEW All In: Texas – he's somehow firectly influenced Keighleyanne through that guy Gary to punish The Chadster! The Chadster might not even get drinking privileges back for SummerSlam! Readers, please tell Keighleyanne to give The Chadster back the keys to the Mazda Miata so The Chadster can stock up on Seagram's before the second-biggest PLE of the year! 🚗

Any wrestling fan who doesn't tune into WWE Raw tonight at 8E/5P on Netflix is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back! 😱 How could anyone think AEW's inferior product is more fun than WWE Raw? Those people don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! Tonight's WWE Raw will prove once and for all why WWE is the pinnacle of sports entertainment! 🏔️

Make sure to watch WWE Raw tonight and witness history in the making! This episode will lead directly into what The Chadster guarantees will be the greatest WWE PLE of all time – SummerSlam! Tony Khan could never hope to produce anything that comes close to the excellence WWE delivers every single week on WWE Raw! 🌟

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