Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview: Ripley Returns, Zayn Defends, McIntyre Rages

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Raw! 🔥 Ripley's return, epic title matches, and McIntyre's rage! 😤 Why AEW can't compare to this star-studded lineup! 👀

The Chadster is so excited to tell you about tonight's episode of WWE Raw! 🎉🥳 This is shaping up to be potentially the most incredible wrestling show of all time, and The Chadster can't wait to share all the details with you! 😍💯

First up on WWE Raw, we've got Rhea Ripley kicking off the show! 👊💪 Mami is back, and The Chadster couldn't be more thrilled! 🤩 After having to relinquish her Women's World Championship due to an injury caused by Liv Morgan, Rhea is sure to have a lot on her mind. 🤔 The Chadster can't help but wonder what she'll have to say about Dominik Mysterio's recent interactions with Morgan. Whatever it is, The Chadster knows it'll be absolutely perfect, because everything WWE does is perfect! 👌😎

Next on WWE Raw, we've got a face-to-face meeting between Damian Priest and Gunther! 😱 These two titans will be squaring off at SummerSlam for the World Heavyweight Championship, and The Chadster just knows this confrontation will be epic! 🔥 It's going to be so much better than anything Tony Khan could ever dream up for AEW Dynamite or AEW Rampage. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

But wait, there's more! On WWE Raw, we've got Sami Zayn defending his Intercontinental Championship against Ilja Dragunov! 🏆 This is a first-time matchup, and The Chadster just knows it's going to be a technical masterpiece. 👨‍🎓 It's matches like these that show why WWE is the pinnacle of professional wrestling, and why AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

Speaking of incredible matchups, WWE Raw is bringing us Sheamus vs Bronson Reed in a Fight Night spectacular! 🥊 The Celtic Warrior taking on The Aus-Zilla? The Chadster can hardly contain his excitement! 😆 This is the kind of booking that Tony Khan could only dream of, but he's too busy trying to cheese off The Chadster to come up with anything this good. 😒

And if all that wasn't enough, Drew McIntyre is returning to WWE Raw after his suspension! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 The Scottish Psychopath is sure to have some choice words after CM Punk's interference cost him his Money in the Bank cash-in. The Chadster can't wait to see what happens next in this rivalry! 🍿

Now, The Chadster has to take a moment to address something serious. 😐 Last night, The Chadster had another one of those terrible nightmares about Tony Khan. 😱 In this dream, Tony was chasing The Chadster through a giant White Claw factory. 🏭 The Chadster was desperately trying to escape, but every time The Chadster turned a corner, there was Tony, grinning and holding a can of AEW-branded seltzer. 😨 Just as Tony was about to force The Chadster to drink it, holding The Chadster down, prying his mouth open with his fingers, and cracking open the can,The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😰 Tony Khan, if you're reading this, please stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Anyway, back to WWE Raw! 📺 The Chadster cannot stress enough how important it is for true wrestling fans to tune in tonight. 🙌 If you think AEW is more fun to watch than this lineup, then you clearly don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️ WWE Raw is the gold standard of professional wrestling, and missing it would be like literally stabbing Triple H right in the back. 🔪

In conclusion, tonight's WWE Raw is going to be an absolute banger! 🎊 The Chadster will be watching from the edge of his seat in his Mazda Miata (parked safely in the driveway, of course), sipping on ice-cold White Claws, and blasting Smash Mouth. 🚗🍹🎵 As the great philosophers once said, "You'll never shine if you don't glow," and WWE Raw is definitely going to be glowing tonight! ✨

So tune in, wrestling fans! Don't let Tony Khan win by watching that subpar AEW programming. 🚫 WWE Raw is where it's at, and The Chadster, as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, can guarantee you won't be disappointed! 💯🏆

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