Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview: Tune In at Early 3PM ET Start Time Today

Comrades! El Presidente here with your WWE Raw preview from Birmingham! Roman speaks, Rhea battles, and Nikki Bella confronts Becky Lynch at 3PM ET today!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my secret bunker beneath a fish and chips shop in Birmingham, England! Before we discuss today's special early edition of WWE Raw, I must inform you that Bleeding Cool has not been able to contact my esteemed colleague Chad McMahon since the regrettable incident that occurred during his live coverage of AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door last night, which ended with him locked in the bathroom as his irate wife, Keighleyanne, pounded on the door after he threw a half-melted Seagram's Escapes Spiked popsicle (don't ask where it came from) at the television and accidentally hit her with it instead. The less said about that, the better, but everyone here at Bleeding Cool wishes Chad, Keighleyanne, and that guy Gary whom Keighleyanne is always texting a speedy… er… recovery. In any case, this is why your beloved dictator is doing the WWE Raw preview today instead of "The Chadster." You can thank me later.

Roman Reigns Opens WWE Raw with Mysterious Intentions

The Original Tribal Chief himself, Roman Reigns, will kick off today's special afternoon edition of WWE Raw from Birmingham! After surprisingly coming to the aid of his cousin Jey Uso last week, Reigns has everyone wondering what his true motivations might be. Comrades, this reminds me of the time my good friend Kim Jong-un helped me defeat a coup attempt, only to later reveal he just needed my recipe for empanadas! The CIA tried to infiltrate that meeting disguised as food critics, but we saw right through their Yelp reviewer disguises. Will Roman's assistance prove to be genuine family loyalty, or is there a more sinister plot at play? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain – when Roman Reigns speaks, the entire WWE Universe listens!

Rhea Ripley vs. Roxanne Perez: Mami Continues Her Judgment Day Revenge Tour

The Eradicator, Rhea Ripley, continues her war against her former Judgment Day stablemates by facing NXT's Roxanne Perez! Last week, Ripley saved IYO SKY from a beatdown, creating unexpected tension within the Kabuki Warriors ranks. This situation reminds me of when Fidel Castro and I had a falling out over who made better mojitos, leading to years of passive-aggressive birthday card exchanges and at least one unfortunate incident involving a nuclear submarine! Ripley holds a 2-0 record against Perez, and given her current momentum and rage-fueled mission against Judgment Day, it seems unlikely that Perez will break that streak. But in wrestling, as in socialist revolution, anything can happen when the people rise up!

Penta Makes His Mark Against Kofi Kingston

Fresh off his victory against Xavier Woods, the masked marvel Penta will face Kofi Kingston in what promises to be a high-flying spectacular! Comrades, watching Penta reminds me of my own days wearing a luchador mask to sneak past CIA operatives at the Mexico City airport – though I was considerably less athletic and got stuck in the turnstile! This first-time matchup between these two incredible athletes should be a showcase of international wrestling excellence. Will Penta continue his winning ways, or will Kingston's experience and veteran savvy prove too much for the newcomer?

WWE Hall of Famer Nikki Bella Returns to WWE Raw to Confront Becky Lynch

In perhaps the most intriguing segment of the afternoon, WWE Hall of Famer Nikki Bella returns to call out Women's Intercontinental Champion Becky Lynch! The Man has been on an absolute tear since winning the championship, and apparently, her methods haven't sat well with the Bella Twin. This reminds me of when I criticized Vladimir Putin's karaoke performance at last year's Dictators' Christmas Party – sometimes legends must speak truth to power! What exactly does Nikki have to say to The Man? Could we see a physical confrontation between these two icons of women's wrestling?

Don't Forget Special Early Start Time for WWE Raw Tonight

Comrades, with WWE's Clash at the Castle premium live event happening this weekend in Paris, today's special early WWE Raw promises to set the stage for what should be an explosive weekend of sports entertainment! Remember to tune in at the unusual time of 3 PM Eastern, noon Pacific on Netflix – perfect timing for those of us conducting afternoon interrogations!

Until next time, this is El Presidente, reminding you that professional wrestling, like a well-organized socialist state, runs best when everyone plays their role perfectly! Viva la lucha libre!

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