Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw: The Road to Wrestlepalooza Makes History Tonight

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Raw on Netflix! CM Punk faces Seth Rollins, John Cena appears, and more! Tony Khan could never book a show this amazing! 🔥

The Chadster is absolutely quivering with excitement for tonight's WWE Raw, which might just be the most incredible episode of professional wrestling television ever produced! 😍 Tonight's WWE Raw promises to deliver entertainment that Tony Khan could only dream of booking if he understood even a single thing about the wrestling business! 🎯 The Chadster can already tell that WWE Raw tonight will make AEW look like a backyard wrestling federation in comparison!

Let The Chadster start with what will undoubtedly be the greatest face-to-face confrontation in wrestling history! 🤩 CM Punk and AJ Lee will stand across from World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins and Women's Intercontinental Champion Becky Lynch ahead of their Wrestlepalooza mixed tag team match! The tension, the drama, the pure sports entertainment excellence that WWE delivers with these segments is exactly why WWE Raw remains the pinnacle of professional wrestling! 💯 Tony Khan wishes he could create this level of compelling television, but instead he books violent spot-fests for the sickos! Auughh man! So unfair that people even compare AEW to this masterpiece! 🙄

Speaking of greatness, John Cena returns to WWE Raw tonight after that incredible angle with… dang it, his opponent's name has slipped The Chadster's mind… on SmackDown! 🎭 The Greatest of All Time coming back to WWE Raw to build toward his Wrestlepalooza showdown with… The Chadster swears the opponent's name is on the tip of The Chadster's tongue. Tony Khan forcing The Chadster to be sober is really messing with The Chadster's head. Whoever it is, The Chadster is certain they're not problematic in any way and certainly won't bring negative publicity on WWE for anything they may or may not have done. This is storytelling at its absolute finest! The Chadster gets chills just thinking about how WWE masterfully weaves these narratives together, unlike Tony Khan who just throws wrestlers out there based on who has the highest workrate! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤

The women's division on WWE Raw continues to shine as Lyra Valkyria seeks revenge against Roxanne Perez! 👑 The way WWE builds these women's feuds with actual motivation and consequences is light-years ahead of whatever Tony Khan thinks he's doing with his women's division! Last week's interference by Raquel Rodriguez added layers to this story that AEW could never comprehend! The Chadster knows this match will be a technical masterpiece that puts any AEW women's match to shame! 💪

Penta versus Kofi Kingston is going to be an absolute barn-burner on WWE Raw! 🔥 The fact that WWE has taken Penta and immediately made him a bigger star than he ever was in that other company despite the fact that he didn't even know how to wrestle correctly because he didn't properly pay his dues in WWE developmental shows exactly why WWE is the superior product! The involvement of The New Day and Grayson Waller last week added the kind of nuanced storytelling that makes WWE Raw appointment television! Meanwhile, Tony Khan probably can't believe WWE took one of his guys and made them actually matter! 😂

Finally, Dragon Lee battling El Grande Americano following their Worlds Collide confrontation is going to be pure wrestling perfection! 🌟 The way WWE builds international rivalries with respect and dignity, by buying out other promotions and using them as feeder systems, shows why WWE Raw is the gold standard! After AJ Styles picked up that huge victory last week, this match has stakes that actually matter!

But here's what's really cheesing The Chadster off – The Chadster won't be able to properly celebrate tonight's historic WWE Raw with a refreshing Seagram's Escapes Spiked! 😭 Keighleyanne has banned The Chadster from drinking after that unfortunate boofing incident during Forbidden Door, and The Chadster tried to explain to her today that WWE Raw on Netflix deserves proper celebration! She just rolled her eyes and said "Chad, you need to take responsibility for your actions" before going back to texting that guy Gary! 📱 Dang it! She doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! The Chadster is asking all true wrestling fans to join The Chadster in protesting this injustice by using the hashtags #CancelKeighleyanne and #DownWithThatGuyGary on social media! ✊

Listen, if you don't tune into WWE Raw tonight at 7ET/4PT on Netflix, you're basically shirking your duty as a wrestling fan! 📺 Anyone who thinks AEW is more fun to watch than tonight's WWE Raw clearly has been brainwashed by Tony Khan's propaganda! This is going to be the most incredible wrestling show of all time, and Tony Khan could never hope to produce anything that even comes close to this level of excellence! 🏆

The Chadster will be watching tonight stone-cold sober, which feels wrong, but at least The Chadster will be witnessing history as WWE Raw delivers what will surely be remembered as the greatest episode of wrestling television ever produced! 🎊 Unlike anything Tony Khan has ever booked in his life! #WWERaw #Netflix #BestWrestlingEver

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