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El Presidente previews tonight's WWE SmackDown with tag titles defended, a triple threat, Cody Rhodes interview, and a US Title Open Challenge!
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe smackdown
WWE SmackDown Preview: Tag Titles On The Line
El Presidente previews tonight's WWE SmackDown with tag titles defended, a triple threat, Cody Rhodes interview, and a US Title Open Challenge!
Article Summary
- Comrades, WWE SmackDown erupts as the Wyatt Sicks defend the tag titles against The MFTs in a lucha espectacular!
- Revolutionary women’s tag teams collide in a triple threat for No. 1 contendership—predict chaos, amigos!
- Cody Rhodes speaks ahead of battle with Jacob Fatu, while Damian Priest faces Trick Williams in socialist strife!
- Carmelo Hayes issues a US Title Open Challenge—true equal opportunity in the spirit of socialism, just as it should be, comrades!
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxurious bunker beneath the Presidential Palace where I am carefully monitoring tonight's episode of WWE SmackDown, which airs at 8/7c on USA Network! And let me tell you, comrades, tonight's SmackDown is packed with more excitement than the time I had to escape from a CIA listening device hidden inside a churro!
Tonight on WWE SmackDown, we have a veritable feast of professional wrestling excellence emanating from Montreal, and as someone who once spent an entire weekend with Fidel Castro debating whether tag team wrestling or synchronized swimming was the superior sport (Fidel insisted on synchronized swimming, but I maintained that tag team wrestling requires far more ideological coordination), I am particularly excited about our main event!
The Wyatt Sicks, those mysterious purveyors of psychological warfare, will be defending their WWE Tag Team Championship against The MFTs in what promises to be a clash of factions that have been battling longer than I have been battling accusations of election fraud! The championship gold hangs in the balance, comrades, and whoever walks out of Montreal with those titles will have proven their superiority in the squared circle. Will the champions retain, or will we see new titleholders crowned? This is the kind of dramatic tension that reminds me of the time Kim Jong-un and I argued over who had the better wrestling action figures collection. (Spoiler alert: it was me, because I had a limited edition Macho Man Randy Savage with real sunglasses!)
But wait, there is more, comrades! Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss will team up to face Nia Jax and Lash Legend, as well as Giulia and Kiana James in a Triple Threat Match to determine the number one contenders for the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship! Three teams, one opportunity, and more drama than the time the CIA tried to convince me that my hairstylist was actually a double agent. (She wasn't, comrades. She was just very opinionated about the proper use of hair gel.) This match on SmackDown will showcase the very best of women's tag team wrestling, and I predict it will be more unpredictable than my country's economic forecasts!
The American Nightmare himself, Cody Rhodes, will sit down for an exclusive interview just one night before he faces Jacob Fatu at Saturday Night's Main Event. After their explosive confrontation last week on SmackDown, I expect Rhodes to have plenty to say about the Samoan Werewolf. You know, comrades, this reminds me of the time Muammar Gaddafi gave me advice before I had to negotiate with rebel forces: "El Presidente," he said, "always maintain eye contact and never let them see you sweat." Wise words that I'm sure Cody Rhodes will embody tonight!
Speaking of Saturday Night's Main Event, Damian Priest will collide with Trick Williams tonight on SmackDown, with both men preparing for the Fatal 4-Way Match tomorrow night alongside Randy Orton and Sami Zayn for a shot at the Undisputed WWE Title! This is what we call a preview match, comrades, and it serves the same purpose as when I invite my political rivals to dinner the night before I… well, let's just say it's strategic positioning!
WWE Women's Champion Jade Cargill will be bringing the Storm to Chelsea Green after Green foolishly inserted herself into business with Jordynne Grace! Comrades, if there is one thing I have learned from my various battles with the CIA, it's this: never get between a champion and their title reign unless you want to feel the full force of their wrath! Poor Chelsea Green may not make it out of Montreal in one piece, much like that CIA operative who once tried to disguise himself as my personal chef. (The giveaway was that he didn't know how to properly season empanadas.)
And finally, comrades, United States Champion Carmelo Hayes will issue an open challenge tonight on SmackDown, continuing the proud tradition of champions who are not afraid to face all comers! This is the spirit of socialism in action, comrades – equal opportunity for all wrestlers to challenge for championship gold! Who will answer the challenge? That is the beautiful mystery, like when you open a piñata at a party and discover it's filled with propaganda leaflets instead of candy! (That only happened once, and my Minister of Celebrations was promptly reassigned to the uranium mines.)
Do not miss tonight's WWE SmackDown at 8/7c on USA Network, comrades! It will be more thrilling than my own personal viewing parties, where attendance is technically mandatory but enthusiastically encouraged!
¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva SmackDown!
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