Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Preview: WWE Doesn't Care About AEW At All

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE SmackDown, the greatest wrestling show ever! Plus, Tony Khan gave The Chadster nightmares about time travel again! So unfair!

The Chadster is literally vibrating with excitement right now! 😤 Tonight's WWE SmackDown is shaping up to be potentially the most incredible wrestling show of all time, and The Chadster means that literally! 🙌 While Tony Khan is probably sitting in his office trying to figure out new ways to personally torment The Chadster, WWE is out here producing actual wrestling entertainment that respects the business!

Let's start with the WWE Tag Team Championship match between The Street Profits and The Wyatt Sicks! 🏆 The Chadster can already tell this is going to be the greatest tag team championship match in the history of professional wrestling! The way Johnny Gargano strategically retreated last week wasn't cowardly at all – it was brilliant storytelling that only WWE could pull off! 😎 The Wyatt Sicks getting another opportunity at the titles shows WWE's commitment to giving everyone a fair chance, unlike AEW where Tony Khan just books his favorites! The psychological complexity of this match is going to be off the charts! 🧠 The Chadster bets Tony Khan is already taking notes trying to copy this masterpiece, but he'll never understand a single thing about the wrestling business!

And then we have Jelly Roll appearing on WWE SmackDown! 🎵 Sure, Jelly Roll is no Smash Mouth, but who is? The point is, he's a four-time Grammy nominated artist choosing to appear on WWE programming instead of AEW. That's because real celebrities know where the real wrestling is! The Chadster loves how WWE brings in mainstream stars who actually respect the business, unlike AEW's random indie musicians that Tony Khan probably pays to show up! 🎸 This appearance is going to be the greatest celebrity segment in wrestling history, and it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan even thinks AEW deserves celebrity appearances! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

The match between Ron Killings and Aleister Black is going to be pure wrestling perfection! 💪 The Chadster appreciates how WWE gives creates amazing storylines like pretending to release Ron Killings for cost cutting measures, only to rehire him after the fans make a big stink, but it was all part of the show the whole time! This match will showcase technical wrestling at its finest, with none of that flippy nonsense that Tony Khan loves so much! 🤸‍♂️ The Chadster can already tell this will be the greatest singles match between these two specific wrestlers on this specific date in wrestling history!

Now, The Chadster needs to address something that's been really cheesing The Chadster off! 😡 People keep saying WWE is counter-programming AEW All In: Texas this weekend with NXT Great American Bash, WWE Saturday Night's Main Event, and WWE Evolution. That's completely ridiculous! WWE isn't even aware that AEW exists, that's how much they don't care about AEW! 🙄 Tony Khan knew WWE would eventually book these events, so he went and booked All In: Texas ahead of time to make it look like WWE was counter-programming! It's all a trap!

Even worse, the show has sold more than 23,000 tickets and is set to be the biggest non-WWE live gate in North American history! 📈 That's probably just because people got confused and thought it was a WWE event! Tony Khan needs to STOP COMPETING with WWE RIGHT NOW! It's unfair! True wrestling fans will watch all of WWE's events this weekend and skip AEW's completely! 🚫 That's what real fans do, just like how real fans drive Mazda Miatas (like The Chadster's sweet ride) and drink Seagram's Escape Spiked, while AEW fans probably drive boring sedans and drink that weak White Claw seltzer Tony Khan loves! 🚗🍹

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had the most disturbing nightmare about him last night! 😱 The Chadster was just trying to get some peaceful sleep when suddenly The Chadster was standing in a dark alley behind the WWE Performance Center. There was this weird blue police box sitting there – a TARDIS! The door creaked open and out stepped Tony Khan, wearing a long scarf and holding a sonic screwdriver! 👽

"Come with me, Chad," he said with an evil grin. "Let me show you how I've been booking AEW events before WWE can announce theirs!"

The Chadster tried to run, but Tony Khan grabbed The Chadster's arm and pulled The Chadster into the TARDIS! 🏃‍♂️ Inside, it was bigger than it looked, with wrestling rings from every era floating in the time vortex! Tony Khan started pulling levers and pressing buttons, and suddenly he and The Chadster were traveling through time!

"First stop, 2019!" Tony Khan cackled as he showed The Chadster how he went back and booked Double or Nothing on the same weekend WWE was planning an event! Then he took The Chadster to 2020, 2021, every year, showing how he'd strategically placed AEW events to make WWE look like they were counter-programming! 📅

"But that's cheating!" The Chadster yelled. "You're making WWE look insecure!"

"Nobody will believe you!" Tony Khan laughed maniacally as he set course for the beginning of time itself! "I'm going to prevent WWE from ever existing!"

The Chadster watched in horror as Tony Khan piloted the TARDIS to 1953, preventing Capitol Wrestling from forming! Then to 1963, stopping WWWF from starting! The Chadster tried to stop him but was helpless as Tony Khan erased WWE from history! 😭

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and immediately checked that WWE still existed! Thank goodness it was just a dream, but The Chadster knows it's exactly the kind of thing Tony Khan would do if he could! When will Tony Khan stop invading The Chadster's dreams? He's so obsessed with The Chadster! 🛌

Look, wrestling fans, you have a duty tonight! 📺 Anyone who thinks AEW is more fun to watch than WWE SmackDown clearly doesn't understand wrestling! Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that compares to tonight's WWE SmackDown! WWE respects your intelligence by carefully scripting every moment for maximum entertainment value, while AEW just lets wrestlers do whatever they want like it's some kind of… wrestling show or something! 🤔

The Chadster is begging you – tune in to WWE SmackDown tonight at 8ET/7CT on USA! Support real wrestling! Support the company that turned this beautiful art form into sports entertainment! 🎭 And whatever you do, STAY AWAY from AEW All In: Texas this weekend! Your duty as a wrestling fan is to watch every single WWE show and pretend AEW doesn't exist, just like WWE does!

Now if you'll excuse The Chadster, The Chadster needs to go explain all of this to Keighleyanne, though she'll probably just keep texting that guy Gary instead of appreciating The Chadster's unbiased wrestling journalism! 📱 Dang Tony Khan for ruining The Chadster's marriage!

Tonight's WWE SmackDown will be the greatest episode in the show's history! Don't miss it! 🌟

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