Another week in wrestling is almost over as we come to the final show of the week, WWE SmackDown. What does WWE's blue brand have in store for us tonight? A lot of Retribution nonsense would be my guess. But let's find out.
WWE Smackdown Report for August 14th, 2020 Part 1
The show kicks off with a recap of the recent antics of those no-good non-political Antifa anarchists, Retribution, the most frightening group of teenagers to ever throw a brick through the window of the WWE Performance Center. Will we finally find out who they are tonight?
Michael Cole and Corey Graves don't bother to welcome us to SmackDown. They're too interested in this Retribution thing. In one of those examples of people telling on themselves, WWE mouthpiece Cole says Retribution is "taking advantage of current events" for their own ends. Plus, Braun Strowman is here to confront The Fiend and hopefully prevent another live sex celebration with Alexa Bliss. And then, female superstars from all three WWE brands will compete for a chance to go after Bayley's SmackDown Women's Championship.
But first, Big E comes to the ring to continue his much-lauded singles push. He wraps his entrance gear right around Corey Graves's stupid head. If that's not a sign he's ready to main-event, I don't know what is. A video promo from Big E reminds us he's a former NXT Champion and former Intercontinental Champion, so he's not new to the singles game after all. John Morrison heads out. A video promo from Morrison says Big E is all alone and the New Day is injury prone, and also calls Big E fat.
Big E vs. John Morrison
If you've been reading my wrestling recaps all week, you'll know that I've moved to a bullet point format for the matches in an attempt to be less verbose with these things. Here are those bullet points.
- The lights flicker right at the start of the show and a woman from Retribution appears on the ring apron. Then the rest of Retribution come out. I count… eight of them? Four stand on top of the announce table and bang their metal pipes on the table, having chased away Cole and Graves, while the other four beat down Morrison and Big E in the ring.
- Everyone is booing like these guys are the heels, but anyone who can make Cole and Graves shut up for a few minutes is a top babyface in my book.
- The Miz comes out to check on his buddy as Smackdown goes to commercials.
After the break, Morrison and Big E are backstage hanging out with a bunch of the roster, so I guess that match isn't happening. Miz apologizes for not rescuing Morrison right away. He was on the phone with Maryse. He blames Big E for tweeting about Retribution all week. Baron Corbin comes out and says what Smackdown needs is a leader. Naturally, that would be him. He is "The Ratings King of Friday Nights," after all, or so I've heard.
Big E gets in Corbin's face. He calls Retribution "The Foot Clan from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." He's not gonna let them ruin his night, so he's gonna go back out to the ring and beat John Morrison later tonight. Okay, I guess the match is still happening. He gives a rousing speech and all the midcarders are with him.
Then Sheamus shows up in an awful jacket and his bowler hat. He makes fun of Big E's speech and points out how alone he is. He says Retribution can smell the fear on Big E. When Sheamus is beating up Shorty G, Retribution won't have the guts to interfere. Big E leaves with several midcarders to prove he's not alone.
Bayley and Sasha Banks are in the ring. There are more security guards around ringside. They say that Retribution will want to hear what the role models have to say, so surely won't interrupt. Sasha talks about her Raw Championship defense at SummerSlam and their tag team title defense at Payback. But tonight is all about Bayley.
Bayley talks some trash about Stephanie McMahon. Not even a McMahon can hold down the role models. Bayley is excited to find out who she's gonna face. Bayley says they've taken on every role in WWE and done it better than anyone else, including commentary (true). Now they're gonna do ring announcing. They announce the rules of the match. Then they make fun of every wrestler they announce as they come out.
Raw/Smackdown/NXT Triple Brand Women's Battle Royal
The Iiconics come out first. Then Tegan Nox and Shotzi Blackheart. Then Lacey Evans. Then Asuka. When Bayley gets to Asuka's name on her list, she tries not to announce her. Asuka comes out and attacks Sasha and Bayley and drives them from the ring. The rest of the women come out: Ruby Riott and Liv Morgan, Bianca Belair, Nikki Cross, Tamina, Dana Brooke, Naomi… I think that's all of them? Oh, Shayna Baszler too! She's my pick. Smackdown goes to commercials before the match gets started.
- Ruby Riott is eliminated first, saving Liv Morgan.
- Billie Kay and Peyton Royce go next.
- Then Liv Morgan. The Iiconincs brawl with Riott Squad.
- Tamina Snuka eliminates Nikki Cross.
- Tamina faces off with Bianca Belair solo for a bit. Belair comes out on top and tosses Tamina from the ring.
- Naomi and Lacey Evans fight and Naomi gets what she deserves and comes out on top. Just kidding, Lacey takes her out.
- Shotzi Blackheart takes out Evans after that.
- Shayna Baszler tries to eliminate Blackheart, and Lacey ends up assisting from the outside to get the job done.
- Tegan Nox eliminates Belair. Nox, Baszler, and Asuka are the final three, the announcers declare. But they're wrong.
- Shayna Baszler tries to eliminate Nox by picking her up and carrying her to the ropes, but she nearly drops her. She picks her back up and gets her over the rope when Dana Brooke reappears and pulls Nox all the way out.
- Brooke is still in this… but not for long. She gets eliminated by Baszler.
- Baszler kicks Asuka out of the ring, but she lands on top of Bayley and Sasha, who are laying on the ground at ringside (I missed how that happened) so her feet never touch the floor.
- Asuka gets back in and eliminates Baszler.
Well, that's interesting. Asuka will face both Sasha and Bayley at SummerSlam in separate championship matches. This match wasn't really well booked so much as a sequence of eliminations, but it did manage to further a few feuds along the way. Not sure what they're doing with Baszler though. After a reminder of the feud between Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose, Smackdown goes to commercials.
Sasha and Bayley complain about how unfair all this Asuka stuff is backstage. Sasha says just because Asuka keeps beating Bayley on Raw doesn't mean Bayley can't beat her at SummerSlam. Asuka runs up and beats them both up.
The Progressive Match Flo recaps the Sonya/Mandy stuff. Mandy cuts a promo backstage. She's heard all her life how all she has is her looks and she can't wrestle. That hurts to this day. But Mandy talks about how hard she worked to get where she is and how hard she works today. Sonya should know that, but it doesn't matter. She reminded Mandy. Mandy challenges her to a hair vs. hair match at SummerSlam. That was easily the best promo Mandy has ever cut.
Sheamus tells some security guards they can take the night off for his match because there's no way Retribution is gonna mess with him. Smackdown goes to commercials.
Nikki Cross is pouting backstage. She sees Alexa Bliss and runs over to give her a hug. Nikki apologizes for shoving her and then abandoning her to have sex with The Fiend in the middle of the ring. She asks if Alexa is okay after all that Fiend stuff. Alexa says she's fine, but she needs to get some answers from Braun.
Sheamus vs. Shorty G
Sheamus heads to the ring. He is looking for revenge on Shorty G because Shorty interfered in Sheamus's match last week, attacking Matt Riddle and getting Sheamus disqualified. Shorty G comes out and we have ourselves a match!
- Sheamus beats the crap out of Shorty G at the start of the match.
- Shorty uses his speed and mat wrestling skills to get some brief spurts of offense in on Sheamus.
- But it's mostly all Sheamus. He wins with a White Noise and a Brogue Kick.
- Guess Retribution really is afraid of Sheamus. They didn't come out.
AJ Styles is yelling at a guy in a suit backstage. Wait, is that Abyss?! Smackdown goes to commercials. And we'll be going to part two of this report. Click down below to follow.