Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE: Unreal

WWE: Unreal Trailer – Meet the New Kayfabe, Same as the Old Kayfabe

El Presidente analyzes Netflix's WWE Unreal trailer & exposes how WWE's "behind the scenes" series is just propaganda with better production values!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my underground bunker beneath a replica WrestleMania ring, where I am currently hiding from CIA operatives who discovered my collection of bootleg WWE pay-per-views! But even the threat of American intelligence cannot stop me from bringing you this breaking news about Netflix's upcoming series, WWE: Unreal!

The streaming giant has just released the full official trailer for this unprecedented look behind the curtain of sports entertainment, and let me tell you, comrades, it is more revealing than the time my good friend Kim Jong-un accidentally broadcast his Stone Cold Steve Austin impression during a state dinner! The series, which premieres on Netflix on July 29t, promises to take us into the secretive world of WWE like never before.

In the trailer, we see Triple H serving as our guide through this journey, narrating the experience like a wrestling Virgil (the classical poet, not the late wrestling Superstar) leading us through the circles of sports entertainment hell. We get glimpses of Cody Rhodes discussing his injuries (something I know all about after my own mishap attempting a moonsault off my palace balcony), and Bianca Belair preparing for her performances with the dedication of a revolutionary preparing for glorious combat!

But comrades, the real juice comes when we see Rhea Ripley talking about her transformation when she hits that entrance ramp. It reminds me of my own transformation when I put on my military uniform each morning – from mild-mannered dictator to supreme leader of the people! Michael Hayes even discusses John Cena's heel turn, which, between you and me, was almost as shocking as when the CIA discovered I had been using their surveillance equipment to watch Monday Night Raw.

The trailer shows us CM Punk discussing injuries and ring rust – something I can relate to after my lengthy absence from the squared circle of international politics following that unfortunate incident with the folding chair at the UN. And Jey Uso talks about competition for top spots, which sounds exactly like my cabinet meetings, except with fewer superkicks and more actual backstabbing.

Perhaps the most entertaining moment comes when we witness pre-show practice, where CM Punk asks Charlotte Flair if she's ever "shit herself" in the ring. While The Queen refuses to answer (though admitting to possibly peeing a little), I can tell you that this is nothing compared to what happened to my friend Maduro during his first cage match with economic sanctions!

According to the official description, WWE is giving us "an unprecedented turn" by taking us "behind the scenes – into the writer's room and the homes of their greatest Superstars." They promise to show us the year-round work required to produce their weekly spectacles. Chelsea Green even appears to discuss the joy of success in the business, which I imagine is similar to the joy I feel when successfully jamming American radio frequencies!

But here's where El Presidente must put on his propaganda analysis hat, comrades. While WWE promises a candid backstage look, remember that this series is produced by WWE itself! This is simply a new evolution of kayfabe – the modern version where everyone acknowledges the business is predetermined, but WWE still controls exactly what narrative we see. It's like when I allow foreign journalists into my country but only show them the nice parts with the working streetlights!

This reminds me of my own documentary series, El Presidente: Totally Not A Dictator, where I allowed cameras to follow me around but somehow they only captured me petting puppies and distributing bread to orphans. Never did they film my weekly meetings with my good friend Putin where we practice our wrestling promos and share tips on media manipulation!

WWE's approach here is brilliant propaganda, comrades. They're acknowledging what everyone already knows – that wrestling is scripted entertainment – while simultaneously crafting a narrative that positions them as the undisputed champions of sports entertainment. It's the same technique the CIA uses when they release classified documents that are 90% redacted – giving you just enough to feel informed while keeping the real secrets hidden!

The glimpses of producers in "Gorilla Position" and trainers backstage are carefully curated to show WWE as a well-oiled machine of entertainment excellence. It's similar to how I only allow photographers to capture my good side (the left, obviously) and never during my morning yoga sessions where I practice my Rey Mysterio Jr. impressions.

So mark your calendars for July 29th, comrades, and prepare to see behind the curtain – or at least, the curtain WWE wants you to see behind. Will it be entertaining? Absolutely! Will it be the whole truth? About as much as my autobiography, El Presidente: The People's Champion, which somehow forgot to mention that time I got stuck in a shark cage at a house show in Nicaragua!

Until next time, this is your El Presidente, reminding you that in both wrestling and international politics, the real power lies in controlling the narrative. Now if you'll excuse me, I must prepare for my tag team match against the CIA agents outside. I've been practicing my hot tag all week! ¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva el lucha libre!

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