Focusing On The Important Stuff, Impact Wrestling Asks Fans To Choose Official Impact Pizza

Beleaguered wrestling organization Impact Wrestling, formerly known as Global Force Wrestling, formerly known as Impact Wrestling, formerly known as TNA, has been doing its best to right the ship after their last big shakeup, which was… *checks watch*… getting rid of TNA co-founder Jeff Jarrett after his short return to the company earlier this year. Jarrett's departure scuttled Impact's plans to rebrand as GFW, though not before they started using GFW belts on their television programming.

Jarrett was brought in after the company was sold to Anthem Sports & Entertainment following a failed takeover attempt by Smashing Pumpkins vocalist Billy Corgan. The company has had PR trouble due to losing several prominent wrestlers from its roster following the buyout, its champion, Alberto El Patron, being involved in a domestic violence investigation with his fiancee, WWE wrestler Paige (the case was eventually dropped), and a long and drawn out public dispute with Matt and Jeff Hardy over the Hardys' "Broken" gimmick. But sure, pizza is the thing they should be worried about.

Impact teased the partnership with Canadian pizza chain Crust & Crate, with a press conference planned Friday. However, Impact announced that rather than reveal the official Impact pizza, Crust & Crate had create two pizzas, which fans will need to vote on to decide which one should be chosen.

Leaving aside the fact that there's absolutely no evidence that Canadians even know how to properly make pizza — most Americans outside of New York don't even know what pizza is supposed to taste like — one is forced to wonder whether Impact is making a mistake by dragging this out. At this rate, the company is likely to undergo another major disruption by the time the pizza is chosen, and who knows what their company name or appropriate pizza branding will be by then?

You know what? It's still early in the afternoon, but we think it's time to start drinking already.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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