"Archie Is No Simp," Says the Publisher of Comics' Biggest Simp

In a lesson that the publisher somehow didn't learn in 2010, Archie Comics has opened themselves up for torture via internet yesterday. The company, responsible for decades of comics about a red-headed teenager and the two girls he never ends up with, took to Twitter to put a stop to a certain kind of comment on their YouTube channel. The beleaguered employee running the Twitter account wrote: "Please stop writing "Archie is a simp" in the comments of our YouTube videos. You will receive a permanent ban from our channel. Thank you." The move echoes an earlier situation in Chinese politics, when President Xi Jinping banned the release of Christopher Robin in response to a meme comparing the politician to Winnie the Pooh. This move condemned the President to a fate of endless memes, because if there is one thing that is true about the internet, it's that if it knows something bothers you… it's on. While it is unknown if Archie Comics prepared themselves for the storm they would unleash, but the storm would come regardless.

Archie is a simp. Credit: Archie Comics.
Archie is a simp. Credit: Archie Comics.

And come it has, beginning with the above screenshot from an actual Archie comic, posted by Twitter user @keithrcampbell, who asked pointedly: "This you?" On this busy San Diego Comic Con week, Bleeding Cool is here to report the big news, including the following tweets responding to Archie Comics' plea for the internet to leave their freckled simp alone:

Archie is a simp, and that's for sure. Credit: Replies to @ArchieComics Twitter.
Archie is a simp, and that's for sure. Credit: Replies to @ArchieComics Twitter.

And countless more.

Meanwhile, as Archie Comics' Twitter account buckled under the onslaught of comments, it was nothing compared to the original platform they hoped to protect. The publisher's latest video, "How to Draw Sabrina the Teenage Witch! Guide by Dan Parent," became the Ground Zero for exactly the comments the simp's publisher was hoping to end.

"Archie is a simp" has become a widely held opinion. Credit: Archie Comics' YouTube comments.
"Archie is a simp" has become a widely held opinion. Credit: Archie Comics' YouTube comments.

It is unknown if the publisher is truly hurt by these accurate accusations against their character, or if Archie Comics is simply using Twitter to drive people to their YouTube. If the latter is true, then perhaps Archie Comics is merely taking a page out of Wendy's Twitter book, and copying the fast food ginger's social media style. Which would be a pretty simp move.

About Theo Dwyer

Theo Dwyer writes about comics, film, and games.