Elevator Pitch – What Hero Do You Want To See On The Silver Screen? She-Hulk!(UPDATE)

By Gary Turner

Header-Elevator-Pitch-SheHulk

Last time we took a look at the Black Panther. I do actually agree with HalfMadJesus. In hind-sight T'Challa is deserving of an origin story. Also from a different note, that Avenger's insertion was only going to be in the initial 5 minute setup. Mainly to show the Panther is already on their scale.

While the king of Wakanda merits all the serious tone, this week's character should really have some fun. Marvel has their subgenres of monster movie, spy flick, high-tech thriller. How about a just a fun comedy, but present it in the face of real danger? Sort of like the original Beverly Hills Cop. Jennifer Walters can be a hoot, especially with some real baddies in the mix.

HOW'S THIS GONNA LOOK?

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Well, I certainly wouldn't cast Brigitte Nielsen as She-Hulk. There isn't an actress out there that could physically stand next to the bad ass CG Hulk from the Avengers. Then knowing that She-Hulk should be CG as well got me ta contemplatin'. Just like Bruce Banner was cast as Mark Ruffalo, Jen should be the focus of our casting as well. So let's have fun with an actress with quirks, and physically different from her alter ego. Bet Zooey Deschanel would have an equal amount of fun playing both characters.

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And while we're at it let's just reveal our cast, villains and all! I'd love to see a slug fest with the Absorbing Man (done less god-like than Ang Lee's take), and I could envision some nastiness with Olivia Munn as Titania.

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THE TEASER

Solid black screen. We hear the sound of smashing, splintering wood, people fleeing, and a man in rage. Followed by a deep thud as something crashes unseen. Then silence for a few beats.

Cut to Jennifer Walters bolting upright in a hospital bed. She has a few bandages on her head, but they're half dangling off. She's startled. What's going on? She knows she should be dead! Jen is bewildered. Then she hears a voice. Seated at the foot of the bed is her cousin in a tweed jacket, and a black tee that reads "Keep Calm and You'll Be Fine". He's behaving somewhat sheepishly.

Bruce, "Hi Jen. So…um…hey, funny story." Dr. Banner begins to remind her of a time when as kids he was injured and she ended up donating blood for him. He's speaking in soft, at-ease tones. While Jen is not really following what he's even talking about. Where has her cousin been all this time? Didn't they say he became some sort of "monster"?

Bruce's funny story leads to her first courtroom case. He happened to be there covertly to watch her auspicious first-at-bat. She was defending a young guy named Rick that got duped into sneaking into a military facility on a dare. The one that tricked him was a notoriously violent criminal named "Crusher" Creel. Crusher reacted poorly in court when the evidence came out. Also appears somewhere along the way, at that military facility, this thug had picked up powers and unleashed them upon all in the courtroom.

Bruce reaches the point he's most nervous about. Turns out Ms. Walters attorney-at-law caught the full force of a ball and chain. Jen was not only gravely injured, but bleeding out. Dr. Banner didn't just happen to know her blood type, he knew she wouldn't survive until an ambulance arrived.

Only once she comes to understand why he's being so apologetic it's just too much to remain calm. And the fun begins.

IT'S A HULK-KNOCK LIFE FOR JEN

She-Hulk-Sensational-#1I think it'd be a hilarious watching Mark Ruffalo trying to keep her calm. Jen already has a life she's worked hard to build. She's an attorney. She has friends like Marlo Chandler. She thought there could come a time someday when she might meet a guy she could, well…look up to.

We could watch through Jen's comical experiences how hard it is to remain normal while living a semi-hulk life. Not just the clothing issues, but just always being self-aware. At which point her cousin introduces her to the one person that help him nearly tame his beast, a little old zen, hippy-dippy woman named Graceful Spirit.

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THE TWEAKS

sheHulk-maleCheesecakeOverall this is pretty much in line with what was done in the comics. I just want to embrace more of a comedic timing for our elements, without going too cheeky. That said, we can definitely play with the whole cheesecake angle from both sides. 'Cause I'd wanna bring in Wyatt Wingfoot as well. Like John Byrne use to do, She-Hulk can also break that fourth wall and pull a Ferris Bueller by speaking to the audience.

I'd also like to bring in an overlooked character from Hulk's origins. Rick Jones in Marvel's history not only inadvertently created the Hulk, but he went on to become a hero later on when he became linked to the Kree warrior Captain Marvel (no, not Shazam Cap). But that I'd save for a later sequel. Maybe by then 20th Century Fox will have lost the rights to the FF and we can not only have the Skrulls appear in a She-Hulk movie, but she could (at least temporarily) join the Fantastic Four!

YOUR TURN!

Who's should we feature next? That's up to YOU. But do try to pick at least one from the list. If you do shout out five characters be sure that you say which one you'd want to see most. Plus we're always game for good ideas! What's your thoughts on how you'd like to see your favorite treated?

So answer in the comments, FB message, or email me not only which from the list below, but also how you see it coming together. All votes from previous weeks still add up going forward.

  • Silver Surfer
  • Green Lantern: John Stewart
  • Cloak & Dagger
  • Gen 13
  • Ghost (Dark Horse)

WAIT! STILL WANNA SEE MORE?

If ya think there are some good ideas here then you should really check out my new original series Technically Magi. It's a whole new spin on the realms of swords & sorcery. There's also an open invitation to quest with us on our Kickstarter campaign running now until July 15th.

ProfilePic-GTsmallGary Turner, creator of d20 comic Technically Magi, spends his days languishing in the middle of the Pacific (to be specific…Hawaii). If not for his day job of television production & animation he'd be off doing something completely frivolous. Rollin' with the RPGers, and making mad sequential plots is how his nights are lost.

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About Hannah Means Shannon

Editor-in-Chief at Bleeding Cool. Independent comics scholar and former English Professor. Writing books on magic in the works of Alan Moore and the early works of Neil Gaiman.
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