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Fast Five: Heists, The Rock, and Wonder Woman Don't Disappoint

Published Sun, 08 Nov 2020 15:15:40 -0600

Okay, if you've seen these before (which I'm assuming you have), you know that Fast Five is regarded as one of the most not great movies in the franchise. That and 2 Fast 2 Furious, but at least that one is given the benefit of the doubt for being made so long ago and without a regard to larger continuity or quality.

Fast Five, a Slow Recap of the Fast & Furious Franchise — The official poster for Fast Five. Credit: Universal Pictures

At least Fast Five reunited most of the team we all know and love, and besides – with a cast including Ludacris and Gal Gadot? I'm so sold. I don't care if this is the most blatant location porn cash-grab blockbuster of them all, it's outrageous and absolutely absurd, and that's why it's great.

Yes, the whole heist component is very far-fetched, and there is absolutely no way any of that would fly in real life, but that's what I love about this whole franchise: it's not real life. It's not even close to our reality – think of it as a Rick and Morty dimension where in this universe, things work out for you if you believe in the power of family and fast cars. A "heist dimension" or a "Fast and Furious dimension," if you will. And if you're a cop, you're going to have a bad time, especially if you're named after a boulder.

Speaking of The Rock, this is the first movie we're introduced to his Agent Hobbs, and it's fantastic. Yes, it's totally unrealistic, and he's set up to lose, but he's also set up to come back for more and more movies (yes, including the first official spin-off, Hobbs & Shaw, which we'll get to in due time, don't you worry).

Again, it's a Fast and Furious franchise flick – you know there's going to be Paul Walker saving the day and getting the girl, surly Vin Diesel being jacked and moody, and street racing like whoa damn. Expecting other things like a coherent serious plot or Oscar-worthy performances is just setting yourself up for disappointment. Just sit back, grab a snack, and enjoy the ripped dudes, hot women, and fast cars, and of course, Fast Five.

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