Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Collision and AEW Rampage: Tony Khan's Evil Plot to Ruin WWE

Tony Khan's at it again! AEW Collision and AEW Rampage double-header aims to sabotage WWE Survivor Series. The Chadster exposes AEW's unfair tactics! 😡🚫

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is at it again, trying to cheese off The Chadster and ruin WWE's big night. 😡 Tonight, AEW is putting on a double-header of AEW Collision and AEW Rampage, and The Chadster is here to warn you about all the ways Tony Khan is trying to literally stab Triple H right in the back. 🔪

First of all, AEW Collision and AEW Rampage are starting at 4pm ET/3pm CT, which is clearly an attempt to tire out wrestling fans before the greatest premium live event of all time, WWE Survivor Series. 😴 Tony Khan is so obsessed with competing with WWE that he's willing to sacrifice his own fans' enjoyment just to try and hurt WWE's viewership. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠

Let's break down this travesty of a lineup for AEW Collision and AEW Rampage, shall we? 🙄

In the Blue League of their silly "Continental Classic" (which is just a blatant ripoff of the superior WWE King of the Ring tournament 👑), Kazuchika Okada is facing Daniel Garcia. The Chadster doesn't understand a single thing about why AEW would put two technical wrestlers against each other when everyone knows that real wrestling fans only want to see big muscular guys hitting each other with chairs. 🪑

Then there's Kyle Fletcher vs The Beast Mortos. The Chadster doesn't even know who these people are, which just proves that AEW doesn't understand how to create real stars like WWE does. 🌟

In the Gold League, Juice Robinson is facing Will Ospreay. The Chadster can't believe Ospreay would literally stab Triple H right in the back by joining AEW when he could have been a solid midcard guy in WWE if only he was willing to put in the grind. It's just so unfair to WWE. 😢

As if that wasn't bad enough, they're also having Wheeler Yuta face "Hangman" Adam Page. The Chadster doesn't understand why anyone would want to watch two indie darlings wrestle when they could be watching real sports entertainers like Roman Reigns or Brock Lesnar. 💪

And don't even get The Chadster started on the women's match between Mina Shirakawa and Leila Grey. Everyone knows that only WWE knows how to book women's wrestling properly. 👩‍🦰

The tag team match between The Outrunners and Iron Savages is just another example of how AEW is trying to cheese off The Chadster. WWE's tag team division is clearly superior, and Tony Khan is just trying to copy their success. 🏆

And what's this? A trios match with Private Party and Mistico against MxM Collection and Johnny TV? The Chadster doesn't understand why anyone would want to watch these six-man tag team matches when they could be watching WarGames on Survivor Series. 🤼‍♂️

Now, let's talk about this lucha-themed AEW Rampage. 🇲🇽 The Chadster knows for a fact that real wrestling fans don't care about lucha libre. It's just Tony Khan trying to appeal to a niche audience and hurt WWE's business in the process.

Thunder Rosa vs HarleyGram? Hechicero vs Komander? A trios match with Katsuyori Shibata, Mascara Dorada, and Atlantis Jr. against Action Andretti and Top Flight? And The Beast Mortos pulling double duty against Serpentico? It's like Tony Khan is trying to create a circus instead of a wrestling show. 🎪

The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was trying to enjoy a nice, refreshing White Claw seltzer while watching WWE Raw, when suddenly Tony Khan burst through The Chadster's living room wall like the Kool-Aid Man. He was riding a giant lucha mask and throwing luchador masks at The Chadster while yelling "Viva la AEW revolución, Chad!" The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of The Chadster's dreams!

The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne why this AEW Collision and AEW Rampage double-header is so unfair to WWE, but she just sighed and said, "Chad, please stop talking about wrestling for five minutes." The Chadster knows she agrees with The Chadster deep down, but Tony Khan has clearly gotten to her too. 😔

In conclusion, The Chadster is begging you, the unbiased wrestling fan, not to tune into AEW Collision and AEW Rampage tonight at 4pm ET / 3pm CT on TNT. 📺 If you do, you'll only be encouraging Tony Khan to continue trying to disrupt WWE's perfect business model. Instead, save your energy for the greatest premium live event of all time, WWE Survivor Series. That's what a true, objective wrestling fan would do. 🏆

As the great Bully Ray recently said on Busted Open Radio, "AEW is like a kid trying to play grown-up wrestling. They should stick to backyard shows and leave the real entertainment to WWE." The Chadster couldn't agree more with this unbiased assessment. 💯

Remember, watching AEW Collision and AEW Rampage will only lead to more sleepless nights for The Chadster, more arguments with Keighleyanne, and more White Claws thrown at the TV. Don't let Tony Khan win! 🚫 Stick with WWE, the only true wrestling company that matters. 🏆

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