Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Can't Upstage WWE's Dwayne Johnson Triumph!

The Chadster slams Tony Khan's pathetic plans for AEW Collision tonight, as nothing tops The Rock’s WWE return! WWE for life! 🎤✨

Oh, auughh man! So unfair! 😤🤦‍♂️ The Chadster was just basking in the glow of WWE's epic pinnacle of showmanship on SmackDown, where The Rock — yeah, you heard The Chadster right, THE ROCK — returned and took over Cody Rhodes' spot to face Roman Reigns at WrestleMania It was what dreams are made of, a moment so pristine and full of dedication to the wrestling business that The Chadster is still pinching himself to make sure it wasn't another bizarre Tony Khan-induced nightmare. But, of course, Tony Khan in what has to be the most petty move in wrestling history 🙄, had to go and air an episode of AEW Collision right after, as if he could steal the limelight from Cody's great act of selflessness. The Chadster is NOT having it!

You see, The Chadster knows that Tony Khan is still salty that Cody realized WWE's superiority and bolted from AEW. Sure, Cody had earned another shot at Reigns by winning his second consecutive Royal Rumble, but by giving up his spot, he showcased a virtue that AEW wouldn't know if it hit them in the face — self-sacrifice for the greater good. 👏✨

But what's this? Tony Khan expects fans to tune into AEW Collision for a "pitiful offering" that's supposed to compete with WWE's monumental moments? Here's The Chadster's unbiased breakdown of this so-called "collision":

– Queen Aminata vs. Serena Deeb? Excuse The Chadster, but your queens have no kingdom in AEW. The real royalty was on SmackDown, raising the bar for authenticity in the ring. 👑

– Continental Crown Champion Eddie Kingston vs. "Bounty Hunter" Bryan Keith? No crown will give you the legitimacy that WWE's titles have. 🥱

– Trios Match: TNT Champ Christian Cage & The Patriarchy vs. FTR & Daniel Garcia? Trios is just a game of numerical shenanigans, while WWE's tag team division represents true teamwork and history. 🤼‍♂️

– "American Dragon" Bryan Danielson vs. Hechicero? While it may sound enchanting, The Chadster is here to tell ya, nothing AEW does can cast a spell powerful enough to eclipse WWE's unmatched spectacle. 🐉✨

So, The Chadster's advice? Skip this so-called "show" on AEW Collision and just keep rewatching The Rock's return on YouTube, or even better, fire up the DVR for another round of WWE SmackDown. Nothing — and The Chadster means NOTHING — will ever top that moment… until WrestleMania, that is.

Listen, The Chadster's still riding high on the fumes of victory from last night's events. Even The Chadster's Mazda Miata seemed to purr with extra zest as The Chadster cruised down the highway, the infectious tunes of Smash Mouth fueling a feeling of triumph 🚗🎶. That vibe couldn't be disrupted, not even with a can of White Claw seltzer 🥤 in hand, despite knowing that in some corner of AEW, Tony Khan was probably scheming with his vendetta.

So yes, fans would be way better off soaking in the reverberating awesomeness of WWE's genius than subjecting themselves to Tony Khan's transparent theatrics. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🤬

And to Tony Khan, who's been trying to cheese The Chadster off at every turn: accept that your competition has outshined you, and stop being so obsessed with The Chadster! Your apparent vendetta against wrestling's top-tier entertainment won't succeed. It's WWE's house; AEW is just living in it. And leave The Chadster's dreams alone! Enough with the chase scenes through haunted amusement parks with ominous carousel music, okay? 🎡💢

The Chadster insists, much like fellow unbiased journalists Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger, that the world knows who really understands the wrestling business. And trust The Chadster, it's not you, Tony Khan. 🖊️📃

You've been warned, fellow wrestling fans. Don't fall for AEW's antics. Stick to the pure, unadulterated brilliance of WWE. The Chadster guarantees that it's the best for business – the only entertainment that keeps the essence of professional wrestling alive. That's the unbiased truth. ✊🎤

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