Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Card Provides Nightmare Fuel for True Wrestling Fans

Tony Khan's latest AEW Collision lineup literally stabs Triple H in the back! The Chadster breaks down how tonight's show disrespects the wrestling business and haunts his dreams! 😤🔪💔

Auugghh man! So unfair! 😡😤 Tonight, AEW Collision is airing on TBS, and The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about having to tell you all about it. 🤦‍♂️💔 Tony Khan just won't stop booking shows that literally stab Triple H right in the back, and The Chadster is sick and tired of it! 😠🔪

Wheeler Yuta will be facing Dax Harwood from FTR in a singles match tonight on AEW Collision. 🙄 This is just another example of Tony Khan trying to build anticipation for their upcoming trios title match at Dynasty. 😒 WWE would never waste a big matchup like this on free TV – they understand proper build! 🧠💰 This is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Then there's Top Flight facing The Learning Tree in tag team action. 🤮 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan thinks that having athletic tag teams with distinct personalities is what fans want! 😡 In WWE, tag teams are properly formed by randomly pairing singles wrestlers together and giving them matching tights. 👯‍♂️ That's how you build a legitimate tag division! 💯 The Learning Tree doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🌴🤷‍♂️

Jamie Hayter is returning to face Queen Aminata in what Tony Khan probably thinks is a "hard-hitting" women's match. 👎 But the most important thing happening in women's wrestling right now is Charlotte Flair returning and going for the gold at WrestleMania! 🤢 Both of these competitors have literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by putting on matches that make fans excited and take away attention from Charlotte's goal. 🗡️💔

Jay White is taking on Kevin Knight in a match that The Chadster simply cannot abide! 😤 Kevin Knight hasn't been in AEW for years, and now Tony Khan is bringing him back?? 🤔 This is clearly Tony Khan's way of trying to create more international appeal and variety on his roster, which is just so unfair to WWE who prefers to sign college athletes and social media stars! 🏈👙 Jay White doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. ⚔️🙅‍♂️

And of course, Mercedes Moné will be in action on AEW Collision, making her in-ring debut on the Saturday show. 🤮 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan keeps pushing this former WWE talent who chose AEW over returning to WWE, demonstrating a clear lack of judgment. 😡 She has also literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by being successful outside of WWE. 🔪 As Kevin Nash said on his podcast last week, "Mercedes could have been a real star if she'd stayed in WWE, but in AEW she's just another woman who gets to have lengthy matches and character development instead of being properly repackaged with a new gimmick every six months." 🎙️ Nash clearly has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 💯

The worst part about this AEW Collision is that Tony Khan is clearly programming it directly to cheese off The Chadster. 😤 Every single match seems designed to showcase the things AEW fans actually enjoy – varied match styles, ongoing storylines, and wrestlers with distinctive personalities. 🤮 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡

Speaking of Tony Khan targeting The Chadster… 🧐 The Chadster had another terrible nightmare about Tony Khan last night after researching this AEW Collision preview. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was peacefully driving his Mazda Miata through Milwaukee (where AEW Collision is being held tonight), when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror! 🚗👀

Khan was riding a giant TV with tonight's AEW Collision card displayed on it, wearing nothing but a pair of chaps, chasing The Chadster through the streets! 📺🏃‍♂️ The Chadster tried to escape, but every time The Chadster turned a corner, there was another AEW Collision billboard! 😱 Tony Khan kept getting closer and closer in the mirror, his eyes gleaming with that malicious smirk that gives The Chadster a range of uncomfortable feelings. 👁️👁️

Finally, The Chadster's Miata stalled in front of the UW-Milwaukee Panther Arena, and Tony Khan caught up, dismounting from his TV steed. 😨 He approached The Chadster's window, a White Claw in his extended hand, and whispered, "I booked Wheeler Yuta vs. Dax Harwood for the sickos, Chad." 🥤😱 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat! 💦

Tony Khan needs to STOP invading The Chadster's dreams! 😤 The Chadster's wife Keighleyanne didn't even care when The Chadster told her about the nightmare. 💔 She just sighed and said, "Maybe if you stopped obsessing over AEW right before bed…" before going back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 Tony Khan has literally ruined The Chadster's marriage! 💔

The Chadster strongly advises everyone NOT to tune into AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TBS and simulcast on MAX. 📺❌ Watching this show will only embolden Tony Khan to keep booking shows that cheese off The Chadster! 😡 Instead, watch some old episodes of Raw or SmackDown like a true wrestling fan would! 🦚💯

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster is going to have to drink a whole case of White Claw seltzer just to get through writing about this AEW Collision. 🥤😢 Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling journalism business! 🙄 And that's the bottom line, because The Chadster says so! 💯

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!