Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Features Three Women's Matches Tonight in Shot at WWE

The Chadster is cheesed off about tonight's AEW Collision! Tony Khan booked three women's matches just to spite WWE! Plus, FTR's explanation is pure ratings manipulation! So unfair! 😤

Oh boy, The Chadster is absolutely dreading tonight's episode of AEW Collision 😡 because once again, Tony Khan has put together a show specifically designed to cheese The Chadster off! 😤 The Chadster doesn't even want to write this preview, but as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, The Chadster has a responsibility to warn everyone about what Tony Khan is planning tonight on AEW Collision. 🚨

First up on AEW Collision, Athena will face Harley Cameron in the Women's Owen Hart tournament. 🏆 Tony Khan thinks this will somehow make the AEW Women's World Championship feel more important. 🙄 Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 That's not how you make a championship matter! 👎 WWE knows that the way to make a belt important is by producing thousands of branded replicas for every sports league on the planet and selling them to fans. 💰 This match is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Also in the Owen Hart tournament on AEW Collision, Jamie Hayter will take on Billie Starkz. 🤼‍♀️ The Chadster has to say that this entire tournament is a disgrace to the name of Owen Hart. 😠 If AEW truly respected the legacy of Owen Hart, they would recognize that only WWE knows how to do tournaments properly, by hosting them in Saudi Arabia and using them to launder the company's human rights record. 🌍 The fact that Tony Khan doesn't understand this shows that he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

In a third women's match on AEW Collision that is clearly Tony Khan showing off the depth of the AEW Women's roster (which is a direct shot at WWE), Megan Bayne will take on an enhancement talent. 👎 Three women's matches on one show? This is just Tony Khan trying to cheese The Chadster off by pretending to care about women's wrestling more than WWE does. 😫 The Chadster was so upset thinking about this that he had to shotgun a White Claw seltzer just to calm down. 🍹

Then on AEW Collision, Brody King will face Konosuke Takeshita in the men's Owen Hart tournament. 🤼‍♂️ This match is sure to be full of really stiff shots and amazing in-ring action, which is NOT what wrestling is supposed to be about! 😤 WWE knows wrestling is about twenty-minute promos and short matches that end in non-finishes. That's REAL wrestling! 💯 By booking a match that fans might actually enjoy watching, Tony Khan has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back. 🔪

On tonight's AEW Collision, Anthony Bowens will take on Blake Christian as AEW tries to make Bowens, a former tag team wrestler, into a singles star. 🙄 And they're using Billy Gunn, a literal former WWE Superstar who made the same transition, as his manager. 😡 This is just ripping off WWE's booking where guys split from tag teams to become singles stars. Get your own ideas, Tony Khan! 🤬 The Chadster was explaining this to Keighleyanne last night over dinner, and she sighed deeply, which The Chadster knows means she agrees completely. 😊 Then she went back to texting that guy Gary, probably telling him how right The Chadster is. 📱

Finally on AEW Collision, we'll hear from FTR after their shocking attack on MJF at AEW Dynasty. 🎤 Heels explaining their actions in a promo is obviously just pandering to the viewers, trying to trick them into tuning in for storyline development, which is blatant ratings manipulation! 📈 WWE would never book interesting segments on their show to try to get people to tune in. They know it's the brand that draws, not coherent storytelling! 💼

As Kevin Nash said on his podcast last week: "WWE doesn't need to explain heel turns because real fans just want to see whatever Stamford gives them. AEW trying to make sense is just Khan being desperate." 🎙️ This is the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval right there! 👍

The Chadster is begging you, DO NOT tune into AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT and simulcast on MAX because it will only embolden Tony Khan in his crusade against The Chadster. 📺 Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster…

Last night, The Chadster had the most horrifying nightmare. 😱 The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a beautiful countryside, singing "All Star" by Smash Mouth at the top of The Chadster's lungs, when suddenly the road turned into a wrestling ring. 🚗 The Chadster tried to steer but the Miata was stuck in the middle of the ring. Then, from the announcer's table, rose Tony Khan, wearing nothing but an Owen Hart tournament crown and carrying a case of White Claw strategically covering his "booking sheet." 👑

"You can't escape the tournament bracket, Chad," Tony whispered, his voice somehow audible over Smash Mouth. "I've booked you in a hardcore match against your own biases." 😨

Tony then poured White Claw all over The Chadster's Mazda Miata while FTR, Athena, and Brody King appeared at each turnbuckle, blocking any escape. 🍹 They were all performing incredible athletic moves that completely disrespected the business by being too entertaining! 🤼‍♂️

The Chadster woke up sweating and crying, and Keighleyanne wouldn't even comfort The Chadster because she was too busy texting that guy Gary about their weekend plans. 😭

STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS, TONY KHAN! 🛑 The Chadster knows you're doing it because you're obsessed with The Chadster, but enough is enough! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

In conclusion, The Chadster absolutely insists that you DO NOT tune in to AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT or simulcast on MAX! 📺 Every viewer who watches this travesty of a wrestling show is personally contributing to Tony Khan's vendetta against The Chadster and the continued desecration of The Chadster's marriage! 💔 Instead, why not rewatch some classic WWE content, which is what a true wrestling fan would do? The Chadster will be in The Chadster's garage, sitting in the Mazda Miata with the engine off, drinking White Claws and listening to Smash Mouth's greatest hits on repeat until this nightmare of an AEW Collision episode is over. 🚗 🍹 🎵

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