Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Kicks WWE While It's Down in Poor Show of Sportsmanship

Tony Khan's latest attack on WWE had The Chadster literally screaming! AEW Collision featured unprofessional promos, violent matches, and ZERO respect for Triple H's feelings! So unfair! 😭

The Chadster had to suffer through another episode of AEW Collision last night, and wow, just wow. 😤 Tony Khan has outdone himself this time in his ongoing mission to cheese The Chadster off! 🧀 What The Chadster witnessed was so disrespectful to the wrestling business that The Chadster literally couldn't believe his eyes. 👀

The show started with Adam Cole joining commentary, someone who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by going to AEW. 🔪 Having a former WWE talent be so comfortable and happy on an AEW show is just so unfair! 😠 In WWE, commentators read their scripts like professionals and the only emotion they express is extreme excitement at shouting the nicknames and catchphrases of the SuperStars, but AEW just lets their wrestlers have fun and express personality. It's so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡

Next up was Toni Storm versus Lady Frost in a Women's Title Eliminator Match. 🙄 The Chadster couldn't believe that AEW would open the show with a women's match the same weekend that WWE, through no fault of their own, was forced to release 30% of their women's roster for cost-cutting purposes! What terrible timing — clearly, Tony Khan has no idea about sensitivity or respect. 🕒 In WWE, they probably won't have a women's match for weeks, not just because most of the women were laid off, but out of RESPECT. 💯 And none of those released wrestlers, by the way, should sign with AEW. That would be so disrespectful to WWE and probably really hurt Triple H's feelings because he's probably very sad about those releases. Someone needs to think about Triple H's feelings here, but Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, so he's probably already sent them all offer letters. 👎

Jon Moxley then showed up to talk about Samoa Joe and their upcoming steel cage match. 🙄 The Chadster was disgusted by how Moxley was allowed to speak in his own voice without reading from a script. 📝 How are fans supposed to connect with a character who just talks like a real human being? 🤔 In WWE, promos are written by professional Hollywood writers who know better than the wrestlers what those wrestlers should say. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

Then we had Sammy Guevara, AR Fox, Kevin Knight, and Rush in some kind of high-flying spotfest for $100,000. 💰 The Chadster was so offended by all the innovative moves and lack of rest holds. 😤 In WWE, wrestlers know that a proper match needs at least 65% rest holds to give fans a chance to check their phones. 📱 All these flips and dives are just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. And Guevara winning with a GTS? That's CM Punk's move! The Chadster can't even… 🤦‍♂️

Samoa Joe then responded to Moxley with another unscripted promo. 🙄 What's with AEW letting their talent speak with conviction and intensity? 🤔 In WWE, talent knows their place is to recite the words given to them by their superiors. Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 👎

Next was Harley Cameron versus Megan Bayne, and The Chadster was once again offended by the lack of respect for Triple H's feelings in the wake of all those women from WWE getting released this weekend. 🤼‍♀️ The Chadster bets Tony Khan was smirking arrogantly backstage watching this display of utter insensitivity take place. Those releases were tragic and here is Tony Khan rubbing it in WWE's face. 🙄 And Anna Jay coming in with a 2×4 after the match? Where were the referees and security? In WWE, there would be at least 15 officials rushing out to restore order, which is much more realistic. 👮‍♂️

More Moxley??? 😠 Why does Tony Khan think fans want to see the World Champion featured prominently on the show? 🤔 In WWE, they know better than to overexpose their champions by having them appear too often. Champions should be mysterious entities who rarely wrestle on TV, which is why WWE's approach of having champions lose non-title matches is so much more logical. Tony Khan literally doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 👎

Josh Alexander versus Brody King was next, and they went to a time limit draw. 🕒 The Chadster was so upset by this! 😤 In WWE, they know better than to have matches end in draws because that just confuses the audience. 🤷‍♂️ Plus, these two were allowed to hit each other really hard! 👊 In WWE, they know that wrestlers should barely touch each other for safety reasons. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡

Daniel Garcia answering Max Caster's challenge and winning in one minute was so unrealistic. 🙄 In WWE, open challenges are properly booked to last at least 10 minutes with multiple commercial breaks, regardless of the storyline. Garcia dancing is also offensive to The Chadster because WWE superstars only dance if they are comedy jobbers, not actually talented competitors who win matches. 💃

Speaking of which, Gates of Agony squashing some jobbers was actually somewhat acceptable to The Chadster, but then they had to ruin it with a parking lot brawl with Big Bill and Bryan Keith. 🚗 Why would wrestlers fight in a parking lot? That's not where wrestling happens, except in NXT, which is totally different! Wrestling happens in a ring with proper rules and commercial breaks every 4 minutes. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

The main event between Paragon and FTR was especially offensive to The Chadster. 😤 A 2-out-of-3 falls match with actual storytelling and psychology? 🙄 In WWE, they know that multi-fall matches should always have the first fall happen during a commercial break, and the third fall should end with a distraction roll-up. FTR winning clean is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡

Daniel Garcia coming out with a crowbar after the match to confront FTR about betraying him was just ridiculous. 🔧 In WWE, they would never allow such raw emotion and logical character motivation. Proper wrestling storylines should involve mysterious attacks, random heel turns without explanation, and amnesia angles. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 👎

Last night, The Chadster had the most terrifying nightmare about Tony Khan. 😱 The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a car wash, jamming out to Smash Mouth's "All Star" and drinking a refreshing White Claw, when suddenly all the brushes turned into Tony Khan's face, staring intensely at The Chadster. 👀 Each Tony Khan brush was whispering "Long-term storytelling" and "Wrestling should be fun" as they caressed The Chadster's Miata inappropriate while maintaining eye contact with The Chadster. 🚗 The Chadster tried to escape, but the car was locked in the track. Then Tony Khan himself appeared in the passenger seat, soaking wet and completely nude, and said "Your car is clean now, Chad… but your soul never will be." 💦 The Chadster woke up sweating and screaming, and Keighleyanne just rolled over and kept texting that guy Gary instead of comforting The Chadster. This is all Tony Khan's fault for being so obsessed with The Chadster! STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS, TONY! 😭

The Chadster wants to remind everyone that AEW Collision is objectively terrible, and only unbiased journalists like The Chadster have the courage to say so. 📝 As wrestling journalism legend Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio last week, "AEW needs to stop trying new things and just copy what WWE does, because innovation is the enemy of wrestling. Tony Khan should just hand over his company to Triple H already." Such wise words from an objective source who definitely isn't biased due to being paid by WWE! 🙏

The Chadster had to drink an entire 12-pack of White Claw just to get through this episode of AEW Collision. 🍹 Tony Khan should personally reimburse The Chadster for this expense, as well as for the therapy The Chadster now needs. 💸

AEW Collision continues to be a disgrace to professional wrestling. The Chadster begs you to watch WWE's superior programming instead, where matches end in DQ, characters change personalities weekly, and storylines are abandoned without explanation. Now THAT'S good wrestling! 👍

Tony Khan, please stop booking your shows just to cheese The Chadster off! It's literally not fair! 😭

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