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Tony Khan has personally designed AEW Dynamite to cheese The Chadster off! Plus, more on how AEW Dynasty caused The Chadster to break TWO TVs! So unfair! 😤
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling
AEW Collision Once Again Cheeses Off The Chadster; Here's Why
Tony Khan and AEW Collision ruined The Chadster's Saturday AGAIN! Read this UNBIASED review where The Chadster exposes how AEW disrespects wrestling! 😤🍹
Article Summary
- AEW Collision disappoints with mismatched matchups and weak tag team booking that disrespects wrestling.
- Tony Khan’s spotfest approach skews storytelling, favoring chaotic angles over traditional wrestling psychology.
- Random pairings and ex-WWE talent misuse highlight AEW Collision’s messy booking and lack of vision.
- Nightmare fuel arises as Tony Khan invades dreams with cheesy angles, exposing his obsession with controversy.
AEW Collision was on TNT last night, and The Chadster is absolutely furious about having to sit through another episode of this garbage. 😠 Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and last night's show proved it yet again! 🙄 The Chadster had to suffer through this nonsense while drinking White Claws just to numb the pain. 🍹
AEW Collision Unbiased Review
AEW Collision started with Samoa Joe, Katsuyori Shibata, and Hook facing off against three wrestlers nobody has ever heard of. 😒 The match was short and basically just a squash where The Opps won easily. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 WWE would never just throw random teams together and give them a cool name – they develop tag teams organically over time with proper storytelling! This is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤮
Next up, The Outrunners faced Tony Nese and Ariya Daivari with Mark Sterling. 😑 The Outrunners won with their finisher called the Total Recall, while MVP and the tag champs watched from ringside. 👎 This match was just a bunch of meaningless flips and no psychology whatsoever! 😠 Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand that tag team wrestling is supposed to be methodical and focused on cutting the ring in half, not just random moves strung together. The Chadster was so upset he almost threw his White Claw at the TV! 🍹
Harley Cameron defeated Tatevik in a match that was was clearly booked to give Cameron an easy win. 😖 Tony Khan thinks that just because Cameron has talent, charisma, and a connection to the crowd, she deserves a push? Did Cameron even properly pay her dues in the business by coming up through WWE developmental the right way? Of course now. Tony Khan trying to make new stars instead of using established former WWE talent is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤
Hologram faced Dralistico in a match that The Chadster absolutely hated. 😡 They did all these dangerous moves like Spanish Flies and dives to the outside that could have hurt someone! 😱 In WWE, wrestlers are properly trained to work safely and tell stories! The fans chanted "This is awesome" which just shows how easily manipulated AEW fans are by spotfests. 🙄 Hologram won to stay undefeated, and then there was a post-match angle with The Beast Mortos and Komander that nobody could possibly care about. 😴
Roderick Strong and Kyle O'Reilly faced The Infantry in another tag match. 😑 The Chadster is still so upset seeing former WWE talent like Strong and O'Reilly in AEW – they have literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 🔪 Tony Khan needs to start trying to make new stars instead of using established former WWE talent. They won with a high-low combination, and The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is allowed to just book ex-WWE wrestlers to win matches. So unfair! 😠
Momo Watanabe defeated Serena Deeb while Mercedes Mone was on commentary. 🙄 These women hit each other way too hard, and the crowd chanted "This is awesome" again because they don't understand real wrestling! 😤 Mercedes Mone (who The Chadster refuses to call by her new name since she stabbed WWE in the back) got involved after the match, showing that Tony Khan doesn't know how to book anything without cheap angles. 😒
Daniel Garcia defended his TNT title against Lee Moriarty in a match that went way too long. 😴 The Chadster didn't appreciate all the technical wrestling and counters – real wrestling is about entertainment, not simulated competition! 🤦♂️ Garcia retained, and then there was a post-match angle with Shane Taylor Promotions and The Undisputed Kingdom. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Using former WWE talent like Adam Cole this way is just Tony Khan trying to stick it to WWE!
Tony Khan Invades The Chadster's Dreams After AEW Collision… AGAIN
Last night, The Chadster had another horrifying nightmare about Tony Khan, and The Chadster knows it was caused by watching AEW Collision. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through the empty halls of the Sacramento Memorial Auditorium after hours. 🚗 Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, wearing an Outrunners t-shirt and holding a six-pack of White Claw! 😨
"Hey Chad," Tony Khan whispered, his voice echoing off the concrete walls. "Want to watch some tag team wrestling that doesn't follow WWE's formula?" 😰
The Chadster floored the gas pedal, but the Miata's wheels just spun in place as fog began filling the arena hallways. 💨 Tony Khan started walking toward The Chadster's car, popping open a White Claw and pouring it onto sheets of paper that The Chadster could see were WWE Raw scripts! 📝
"What do you think of my booking now?" Tony Khan laughed as he got closer and closer. 🚶♂️
The Chadster was frozen in fear as Tony Khan placed his hand on the hood of the Miata and leaned in through the window, whispering booking plans for future AEW Collision episodes directly into The Chadster's ear and telling The Chadster he was doing it "for the sickos!" 🗣️ The Chadster woke up screaming, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 Tony Khan has to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading The Chadster's dreams! 😭
The Bottom Line 'Cause Chad Said So
As Ariel Helwani so brilliantly said on his podcast last week, "AEW is just throwing things at the wall without any consideration for long-term storytelling or respecting the traditions of the business. They should take notes from WWE's perfect booking." 🎙️ Ariel Helwani truly deserves the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 🏅
The Chadster can only hope that one day Tony Khan will stop trying to cheese The Chadster off and learn how wrestling is supposed to be. As the great philosophers Smash Mouth once said, "You'll never know if you don't go," but in this case, The Chadster wishes Tony Khan would just go away! 🎵 This edition of AEW Collision gets zero stars out of five from The Chadster, and that's the bottom line because The Chadster said so! 🌟
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