Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: Don't You Dare Retire in AEW, Billy Gunn

Tony Kahn's latest AEW Collision spectacle leaves The Chadster cheesed off! Dang, is Billy Gunn really retiring here? Not the superior WWE? 🙄🤦‍♂️

Auughh man! 😤 So unfair! On a weekend that should have been all about WWE Smackdown 🎉 and the brilliant stories WWE is telling 📚 over there, Tony Khan and AEW have done everything in their power 💪 to outshine WWE and steal its thunder ⛈️! If you ever thought that Tony Khan might have even an ounce of respect 😑 for the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it, this should put that idea to rest once and for all 🛑. But, true wrestling fans 👫, that's not going to sway The Chadster from his commitment to unbiased journalism 📰, as you'll see as he objectively tells you about last night's AEW Collision and how it was the worst thing to ever happen to the medium of television 📺.

Auughh man! 🤦 So unfair! AEW Collision kicked off with a segment stolen straight from WWE's tried-and-true playbook 📚 of letting an opening promo set the stage for the night's events. And who was in charge of this stolen strategy? None other than Tony Khan himself.

Tony Schiavone was in the ring interviewing the big Owen Hart Foundation Tournament winner, "Absolute" Ricky Starks, and it just screamed of unoriginality 🙄. "Hot damn, I'm the man," boasted Starks. Dang, that's something countless WWE stars could have said in their sleep 😴.

Then CM Punk marched down to the ring, not to wrestle naturally, because Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, but to gab some more, borrowing lines from Ricky Starks' own smack talk. And just when The Chadster was about to switch off the TV in protest, the TNT Champion Luchasaurus and Christian Cage showed up to talk yet more. It's like they can't think of anything else to do. There's more talk from these AEW guys than a WWE contract signing!

But hold on! NExt came Darby Allin to… let The Chadster guess… talk even more? Seriously, Tony Khan? Of course, it was. He wanted to challenge Ricky for a tag match against him and CM Punk. And then, to add more insult to WWE's superior creativity, Tony Khan immediately ordered that match to happen later in the night.

Honestly, it's not just disrespectful to wrestling fans to rip off WWE's iconic opening segment formula 📃, it's downright disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it 🏆. Tony Khan could learn a thing or two from Vince McMahon's playbook 📖, rather than just copying it word-for-word. To The Chadster, this is clear evidence that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

While The Chadster would normally celebrate the exclusion of any AEW talent from an arena, the decision to bar Andrade El Idolo from getting inside the building does strike him as odd. Even more so since it was the very folks at AEW itself who decided this punishment. If you ask The Chadster, it seems like an unfair retaliation for whatever may have transpired last week. This vindictive behavior by AEW management is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

In an utterly predictable match 😪, Bullet Club Gold— "Switchblade" Jay White & Juice Robinson (with Austin & Colten Gunn), went up against Action Andretti & Darius Martin. And wouldn't you know it, Tony Khan and AEW just had to add in some of those cheap shots and unsporting moves that they're so fond of.

Andretti and Martin, to The Chadster's utter lack of surprise, tried to make things interesting with a springboard tornillo and some fancy footwork, ensuring that their styles remained firmly in the realm of "stylistic variety," also known as "doing whatever they felt like". Just further proof that these AEW wrestlers can't follow the well-established rules and structure that WWE upholds 💔.

Action and Darius were ultimately defeated by Bullet Club Gold, with Jay White pulling off the Blade Runner and pinning Action as if copying finishers willy-nilly was acceptable behavior here. 🙄

Plainly put, Bullet Club Gold's victory is a blatant insult to the legacy of respected tag teams that have graced WWE and Tony Khan just doesn't seem to understand that. This is professional wrestling – not a high-school playground!

"Statement made," noted Nigel McGuinness. How true that is, Nigel. Only the "statement" here seems to be: AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. The Chadster is hearing that a lot tonight.

Next up on the card for AEW Collision was a match between "The Redeemer" Miro and Nick Comoroto. But instead of a fair and honorable wrestling bout, what the fans were subjected to was a sneak attack by Nick on Miro during his entrance. The Chadster never thought he'd see the day when he would feel sympathy for an AEW wrestler, but dang, even they don't deserve to be cheesed off like that! 🧀 😡

Nick didn't stop at just that, oh no, he took it a step further by hurling Miro into the steel ring steps, and then chasing it up by whipping him into the turnbuckles to unleash a running lariat. Is this wrestling or a brutal showdown in the Wild West?

Fortunately for Miro, he managed to turn the tables with a German Suplex and a hefty boot. Then, he put an end to the recklessness by locking in the Game Over and submitting Nick Comoroto. Surprisingly, this is one instance where The Chadster can't help but actually sympathize with Miro, a man who literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back when he left WWE for AEW, having defeated an underhanded opponent. 😐

But let's not forget, Tony Khan is the puppet-master orchestrating these distasteful moments that are so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. It's instances like these that prove, time and again, Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

🙈 Nothing ticked The Chadster off more about last night's AEW Collision than seeing the beloved WWE legend Billy Gunn disrespected like he was. Making his appearance as Daddy Ass alongside The Acclaimed—Anthony Bowens & Max Caster, only to be attacked mid a rap section by the House of Black—Brody King, Buddy Matthews, Malakai Black. Just further evidence that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about wrestling courtesy and respect. 🚫

The match for House of Black's AEW World Trios Championship titles itself was another disappointing spectacle of AEW imitating WWE's style without understanding its spirit 😓. While The House of Black took the victory following a roundhouse kick from Malakai on Billy, The Chadster was left feeling cheesed off for the WWE Legend 😰. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Then, in a distressing turn of events, Billy Gunn began unlacing his wrestling boots and left them in the center of the wrestling ring. Were the fans witnessing the departure of a WWE legend? His fellow Acclaimed members looked on as confused as the rest of the AEW universe. The fans began chanting "You still got it!" Maybe they finally realized the legacy and worth of a true WWE veteran.

"I'm stunned. Is this the last of Daddy Ass that we're going to see in AEW? I don't know," said Nigel McGuinness. The Chadster is also stunned, probably even more. Was Tony Khan pulling yet another terrible prank at the expense of a venerable WWE veteran? If this is true, then dang, it's another punch in the gut from AEW and The Chadster wants to believe these are all just mind games from Tony Khan! 😱

This perceived retirement ploy, if true, should have taken place under WWE's banner, where Billy Gunn's legacy is treasured and honored 😞. If our beloved Daddy Ass is really calling it quits, then his last hurrah being at AEW and not WWE is akin to literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back.

Not wanting to miss another chance to make a mockery of genuine wrestling talent, AEW continued their streak of heinous missteps with an interview of the its World Tag Team Champions, FTR—Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood. Tony Schiavone, who really should have known better, facilitated this charade. 😒

Cash Wheeler and Dax Harwood were full of bravado and false accusations. Claiming unfinished business with real tag teams like the Aussie Open, The Acclaimed, and The Young Bucks. 🤦 Then came the utter low blow when Cash started to question MJF's trustworthiness and warned his teammate, Adam Cole. The Chadster wholeheartedly believes this is yet another childish drama instigated by Tony Khan to breed internal feuds. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Dax went on to discredit MJF and Adam Cole for allegedly treating the tag team championship as a joke, and declared the upcoming match in Hartford, Connecticut devoid of "any dance break or comedy." The Chadster only hopes that this sentiment was genuine and not another one of AEW's attempt to disgrace the wrestling profession with misplaced humor. 😕

Adding salt to the wound, Cash promised MJF and Adam an "ass kicking", which realistically, is more likely to be reserved for FTR once they face any of WWE's finest tag teams. 😏 After all the trash talk, Cash and Dax made their exit with their signature catchphrase, "Top guys, out!" To which The Chadster would like to add, "Maybe at AEW, guys, but definitely not in the world of true wrestling." 😠

Once again, it's these rehashed, predictable interviews and pointless drama that affirm Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! It frustrates The Chadster beyond words! 😡 The only solace is knowing that true wrestling fans see right through this farce.

Auughh man! 😩 So unfair! The penultimate match at AEW Collision was a bitter pill for The Chadster to swallow. It featured Skye Blue pitted against Taya Valkyrie, two talents flaunting their flippant wrestling styles with moves that send shivers down The Chadster's spine. 💔

It was a grueling match, loaded with aggressive moves. Taya initiated the attack, shoving Skye to the mat, following it up with sharp chops and a shoulder tackle with reckless disregard. She then knocked Skye off the ring apron and even went further to spear her on the arena floor! It's high time someone reminded Tony Khan that this is a wrestling ring, not a battlefield.

Skye did try to retaliate, springing back with a shotgun dropkick and a cross body press. Unsurprisingly, Taya recovered and shut down Skye with a German Suplex and a lariat. The match ended with Taya curbstomping Skye and pinning her for the victory. To The Chadster, their wrestling style felt more like a wild street fight where kicking and shoving matter more than wrestling skills.

Post-victory, Taya affirmed her undeserved victory and challenged none other than Britt Baker. Yet again, The Chadster sees a whiff of turning wrestling into a personal vendetta and he smells it all the way from AEW! Taya, with all her ruthless aggression, doesn't stand a chance against WWE's true Superstars who have transformed women's wrestling into an iconic spectacle. 👑

Yet again, The Chadster witnesses AEW trampling over the very ethos of sportsmanship in wrestling, disrespecting the wrestling business's name and whatever WWE has ever done for it. 🤦‍♂️

As if the rest of the 'spectacle' wasn't enough, AEW Collision went on to cap off the night with the most preposterous matchup yet. The main event saw CM Punk & Darby Allin in the ring against "Absolute" Ricky Starks & Christian Cage (with TNT Champion Luchasaurus).

CM Punk and Darby Allin, two guys who couldn't hold a candle to WWE's top-drawer talent, played a game of hot potato with Starks and Christian. The whole thing was riddled with so-called 'grand moves' that, to The Chadster's trained eye, only served to further highlight the chaos and lack of strategy in AEW's wrestling style.

Christian Cage, a man who literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back when he left WWE for AEW, tried in vain to lend some order to the match. But of course, with the likes of Darby Allin throwing himself around like a ragdoll with a Coffin Drop and CM Punk trying to mimic John Cena with his own version of the clothesline, the match was reduced to a poor parody of what Vince McMahon has spent years perfecting. 🤦‍♂️

The match ended in the most ludicrous way with Luchasaurus landing a punch on Darby when the ref was distracted, allowing Starks to sneak in the roll-up pin and secure the victory for his team. Classic AEW, turning to cheap wins while pretending to play a fair match. You know what this means, right? Starks has once again proven that he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Auughh man! So unfair! 😠

The Chadster can't help but shake his head at the irony of Ian Riccaboni's question, "Once is an accident. Twice is a pattern. Are you kidding me Ricky Starks?" As if AEW doesn't do this kind of stuff regularly. Hello, pot meet kettle!

McGuinness's response, "Can lightning strike twice? Yes, it can if you are Ricky Starks," was just the cherry on top of the disappointing sundae that was AEW Collision. Yes, Nigel, it seems it can – particularly when Tony Khan is running the show. 😢

Just as The Chadster had expected, after enduring the travesty that was AEW Collision, Tony Khan wasn't done playing twisted mind games. 🧠 While The Chadster was finally able to sink into a dreamless slumber, Tony Khan just *had* to abuse that therapeutic escape too! 😫

In The Chadster's dream, he found himself on a road trip 🚗 with the AEW mogul himself. Now, The Chadster is an adventurous guy who knows how to appreciate an iconic WWE city, so naturally, he obliged when Tony promised to visit some of the most iconic cities 🏙️ where WWE has made history over the years. The Chadster was intrigued. Could this be the turning point in Tony Khan's understanding of true wrestling?

Much to The Chadster's disappointment, he was wrong. Instead of visiting the Mecca that is Madison Square Garden 🏟️ in New York City or the iconic Staples Center in Los Angeles, Tony Khan took him to small AEW shows across the country. Each one more offensive than the last. They were in Philadelphia, PA one moment, enduring a basement-bar version of an AEW show, then onto Orlando, FL, to watch an AEW spectacle, which to The Chadster looked more like a ruddy amateur improv night. It was quite simply a nightmare!

But the horrors didn't end there! Every time The Chadster tried to sneak away 🏃‍♂️ when Tony Khan wasn't looking, he found himself mysteriously locked 🔐 in the car and taken to the next, even worse, AEW show. It felt like a neverending road trip from wrestling hell! Exhaustion couldn't even end this tormenting loop!

The tour reached its terrifying climax when they drove to Las Vegas, the city that holds in its heart the iconic MGM Grand Garden Arena where many a WWE Superstars have etched their names in wrestling history. But, once again, Tony Khan sullied this revered city by dragging The Chadster to yet another AEW production, this time even having the audacity to show off their own version of "Money in the Bank"! 🙈

It's this kind of blatant disrespect for the rich heritage of WWE 📖 that jolted The Chadster wide awake in a cold sweat 😱, disturbed by the horrors of the 'AEW show tour'. Tony Khan, if you're reading this, stop haunting The Chadster's dreams! It's time for you to face up to the reality that you're obsessed with The Chadster and seriously seek some help! 🙏 Trust The Chadster, it's for your own good! And while you're at it, leave the wrestling to the professionals, aka WWE, will ya?

Before signing off, The Chadster would like to express his gratitude 🙏 to each and every one of his readers who faithfully stick to following true, loyal WWE fandom and not getting swayed by AEW's over-the-top, disrespectful antics.

By subscribing to The Chadster's brand of unbiased journalism 📰, you not only stand by the principles of professional wrestling 🤼‍♂️ but also actively expose the evils of Tony Khan and AEW. Knowing that you trust The Chadster to deliver honest wrestling reviews sans Tony Khan's influence gives him immense strength to keep going 💪.

The Chadster wants to assure all of you that he will not be swayed despite the numerous attempts by Tony Khan and AEW to undermine his faith in genuine wrestling. Together, we can ensure that the sanctity of the wrestling business and everything WWE has done for it is respected and upheld.

As long as the WWE Universe keeps the faith alive, The Chadster's commitment to objective journalism is stronger than ever. Here's to holding the torch high for WWE, and keeping the passion for true wrestling burning bright! 👏🔥

And remember, fellow wrestling fans: Yes, Tony Khan may be obsessed with The Chadster, but The Chadster is even more committed to you – to delivering the unbiased reviews that you trust and love.

Thank you for staying loyal to the WWE with The Chadster. Until next time, find comfort in the words of The Chadster's favorite band, Smash Mouth: "The years start coming and they don't stop coming." Trust The Chadster, the same applies to Tony Khan's silly games with AEW, but together we'll keep on running! 🏃‍♂️👊 Until next time, do enjoy some White Claw 🍹 and don't let Tony Khan's antics ruin your day!

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