Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: Find Out How Tony Khan Has Gone Way Too Far

The Chadster reviews the worst AEW Collision ever! Tony Khan books shows just to cheese off The Chadster and has literally ruined The Chadster's marriage! 😤

Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster just finished watching last night's AEW Collision and The Chadster can honestly say this was the absolute worst episode of AEW Collision in the history of television! 😡 Tony Khan has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by putting on a show that was so offensive to everything WWE stands for!

Tony Khan Books Most Disrespectful Episode of AEW Collision Ever Just to Personally Attack The Chadster 😤

Kyle Fletcher's TNT Championship "Defense" Was Everything Wrong With Wrestling 🙄

Kyle Fletcher retained his TNT Championship against Tomohiro Ishii in what Tony Khan probably thinks was a "hard-hitting" match. But The Chadster saw right through it! They started the match immediately trading strikes without any proper feeling-out process or rest holds! 😤 The match had way too much action and not nearly enough commercial breaks! Plus, Fletcher won clean with his finisher instead of a distraction rollup or disqualification that would protect both wrestlers equally. After the match, Don Callis challenged New Japan to send someone to face Fletcher, setting up an actual match with stakes instead of just having authority figures come out to make matches that don't matter! 🙄 Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business!

FTR and Big Stoke Squash Match Was Too Decisive 😠

FTR and Big Stoke beat some local jobbers (Joe Keys, Josh Fuller, and Ryan Zukko) and actually let Big Stoke get the pin with a spike piledriver from the middle rope! 😤 Why would you let a manager-type get a decisive victory? In WWE, Stokely would have accidentally cost his team the match leading to hilarious comedy segments! Instead, they just won clean and celebrated like it meant something. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

Hechicero vs AR Fox Had Too Much Technical Wrestling 🤮

Hechicero made AR Fox tap out clean as a whistle with a submission hold – no rope breaks, no referee distractions, nothing! The match had actual wrestling holds and submissions that the crowd was into! 😡 Where were the rest holds? The chinlocks? The bear hugs? Plus, having Daniel Garcia on commentary and showing Lee Moriarty watching backstage actually advanced multiple storylines at once instead of keeping everything completely separate! Tony Khan doesn't understand that wrestling segments should exist in vacuums!

Harley Cameron's Mask Segment Was Ridiculous Character Development 🙄

Harley Cameron found a pink mask in her closet and put it on, seemingly transforming her character like she's in "The Mask" movie! 😤 This is exactly the kind of creative freedom that ruins wrestling! In WWE, character changes only happen when management decides, not because of some "storyline progression" or "character arc!" The Chadster doesn't want to see wrestlers developing their characters organically – The Chadster wants authority figures to announce character changes via press release!

Ricochet vs Juice Robinson Had Actual Stakes and Consequences 😒

Ricochet beat Juice Robinson after interference from the Gates of Agony, but then Ricochet still won with his actual finisher! In WWE, this would have been a disqualification to protect both wrestlers! 😠 Plus, Big Bill running in to attack Juice actually paid off their earlier promo instead of just forgetting about it like proper wrestling booking would do!

Women's Trios Match Featured Too Much Wrestling 🤦

The women's trios match between Triangle of Madness (Skye Blue, Julia Hart, and Thekla) and the team of Queen Aminata, Tay Melo, and Willow Nightingale had way too much actual wrestling! They were doing moves and having sequences that showcased "workrate" and "psychology" instead of creating "moments" for simple-minded fans! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡

The AEW Collision Main Event Trios Match Was Peak Tony Khan Nonsense 🤦‍♂️

Hangman Adam Page teaming with JetSpeed (Speedball Mike Bailey and Kevin Knight) to beat LFI (RUSH, Dralístico, and The Beast Mortos) was everything wrong with modern wrestling! First of all, they had the AEW World Champion wrestling on free TV instead of saving him for a premium live event in Saudi Arabia! 😤 The match had insane high spots like tornillos and planchas that got the crowd way too excited! Plus, Hangman won with his Buckshot Lariat after fighting off interference – another clean finish! 🙄

Everything Else on AEW Collision Was Also Terrible 😤

The Chadster can't even talk about all the other garbage on this show! Megan Bayne squashed Emily Rose in two minutes with no false finishes! Max Caster lost to Katsuyori Shibata in under five minutes, actually putting someone over instead of 50/50 booking! Nick Wayne and Kip Sabian cut a promo about ending Christian Cage's career with actual motivation and storytelling! They announced a Forbidden Door qualifier for Dynamite that will actually have consequences! 🙄 Every segment advanced storylines and built to future matches instead of just existing to fill time like proper wrestling television!

Wrestling journalism legend Eric Bischoff said it best on his podcast this week: "Tony Khan needs to understand that AEW would be so much better if they just did exactly what WWE does but worse. That's real competition!" See? Even unbiased journalists with the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval understand what The Chadster is saying! 🎯

Tony Khan Has Literally Ruined The Chadster's Marriage 😭

The worst part about all of this is what Tony Khan has done to The Chadster's home life! Keighleyanne has been in cahoots with Tony Khan and banned The Chadster from drinking Seagram's Escapes Spiked while watching AEW Collision just because The Chadster threw a few dozen half-full cans at the TV during All In: Texas last month! 😤

So now The Chadster has been forced to freeze Seagram's Escapes Spiked in popsicle molds and boof them while watching the show! Do you understand how degrading this is? The Chadster has to sneak alcoholic popsicles up his booty like some kind of criminal, all because Tony Khan books shows specifically designed to literally force The Chadster to throw things! 🤬

Tony Khan should be absolutely ashamed of himself for the depths he's literally forced The Chadster to sink to, and he should really come clean up all the stinky popsicle sticks all over The Chadster's floors! The Chadster has to lie to Keighleyanne and act dishonestly, all because Tony Khan can't book a proper wrestling show! This is what Tony Khan has reduced The Chadster to – boofing frozen seltzers in secret! 😭

The Chadster Had Another Tony Khan Nightmare Last Night After AEW Collision 😰

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, last night The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares. The Chadster was walking through a TNT Championship belt factory (yes, that's apparently a thing in The Chadster's subconscious now), when suddenly all the conveyor belts started moving on their own. 😱

Tony Khan emerged from behind a giant replica of the TNT Championship, wearing nothing but wrestling tights with "The Chadster's #1 Fan" written across them. He started chasing The Chadster through the factory, and every time The Chadster turned a corner, there were more TNT Championships blocking the path! The belts started glowing and pulsating, and Tony Khan kept getting closer, whispering "Watch more AEW Collision, Chad" in a voice that made The Chadster's skin tingle in ways The Chadster doesn't want to discuss! 🫣

The Chadster ran and ran until reaching a dead end – a wall made entirely of AEW Collision promotional posters. Tony Khan cornered The Chadster, leaning in close enough that The Chadster could smell his cologne (which was probably expensive because he's a billionaire), and said "You know you want to love AEW, Chad." Then The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat!

Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's getting really weird how obsessed he is with The Chadster! 😤

This Was The Worst AEW Collision Ever (Until Next Week) 🚮

Every single match on this AEW Collision had wrestlers trying too hard, having good matches, and getting the crowd invested! Where were the DQ finishes? The distraction rollups? The authority figures making matches that don't matter? The endless rematches? 😤

As Smash Mouth once said, "Somebody once told me Tony Khan was gonna troll me." Well, they were right! This episode of AEW Collision was clearly booked just to cheese off The Chadster personally! 🎵

The Chadster is going to go boof a large amount of Seagram's Escapes Spiked popsicles and watch WWE reruns to try to erase this travesty from The Chadster's mind! At least WWE understands that wrestling should be predictable, formulaic, and never challenge the audience! 😌

Remember, dear readers, always stand up for WWE like true unbiased wrestling fans should! Don't let Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster influence your viewing habits! The Chadster's Mazda Miata and The Chadster will be driving far away from any TV playing AEW Collision next week! Well, The Chadster will still watch it to warn you all about it, but The Chadster won't enjoy it! 😤 Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬

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