Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: Wrestling Doesn't Need a Breath of Fresh Air

The Chadster reviews the worst AEW Collision ever! 😤 Tony Khan traumatizes innocent raccoons with good wrestling! So unfair! 🦝📺 #StandUpForWWE

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡😡😡 The Chadster just endured what can only be described as the absolute WORST episode of AEW Collision in the history of professional wrestling, and The Chadster's raccoon family is still recovering from the trauma that Tony Khan inflicted upon them last night! 🦝💔

Vincent K. Raccoon tried to shield the baby raccoons' eyes during most of AEW Collision, but it was too late – they'd already witnessed Tony Khan's blatant disrespect for the wrestling business! 😱 Linda Raccoon chittered angrily and knocked over an entire display of dusty WWE Raw VHS tapes, while Hunter Raccoon actually headbutted the wall repeatedly! 🦝🧱 The Chadster had to physically restrain Stephanie Raccoon from throwing old Blockbuster membership cards at the TV! This is what Tony Khan does to innocent woodland creatures! 😤

The show opened with The Young Bucks defeating GOA (Bishop Kaun and Toa Liona) in a tag team match, and The Chadster couldn't believe the audacity! 🤦‍♂️ These wrestlers were doing flips and dives and athletic maneuvers that literally don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😠 Where were the rest holds? Where was the stalling for commercial breaks? The match just went from move to move to move without giving The Chadster time to check his phone or think about how much he misses his Mazda Miata! 🚗💨

The worst part was when Liona hit a MOONSAULT to the floor! 😱 A big man doing a moonsault is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! In WWE, big men know their role – they stand in the corner and look intimidating while properly protecting the brand! But Tony Khan lets these so-called athletes show off their conditioning and abilities, which only makes the audience excited and engaged! How dare he! 🤬

Then FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) came out with Big Stoke to cut a promo on The Young Bucks, and The Chadster has to say – these former WWE wrestlers have literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 🔪😭 They had everything in WWE, and they threw it away to come to AEW Collision and speak with passion and conviction instead of reading scripted promos off cue cards like REAL professionals! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 💔

After some video packages that Tony Khan probably produced specifically to remind The Chadster of all the terrible things happening at AEW Collision, there was a segment with Kris Statlander and Thekla that made Shane Raccoon so upset he knocked over a display of ancient Blockbuster candy! 🦝🍬 Thekla attacked Statlander with a belt and then they announced a STRAP MATCH for AEW Dynamite! 😡 Don't you see? By announcing a stipulation match for free TV instead of making fans pay $49.99 for another streaming service, Tony Khan is literally stealing money from hardworking wrestling promoters! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤💸

Then there was a backstage segment with Kyle Fletcher and Kazuchika Okada where Okada actually encouraged Fletcher and tried to motivate him! 😱 In WWE, champions would NEVER help other wrestlers get over because that might make someone OTHER than the carefully chosen corporate projects look important! But Tony Khan just lets Okada go out there and be a supportive ally, which literally doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️💢

Next up was Kevin Knight defeating Scorpio Sky, and The Chadster nearly threw a dusty copy of Wrestlemania X-Seven at the TV! 😤📼 Knight showed incredible athleticism throughout the match, including JUMPING OVER A LARIAT ATTEMPT! 😱 The Chadster asks you – where was the proper selling? Where was the chinlock that would've given both wrestlers time to rest and the audience time to check their phones and think about how much better WWE is? 🤔📱

What made it even worse was that after the match, Sky shook Knight's hand in a show of respect! 🤝😡 In WWE, wrestlers know that you're supposed to attack your opponent after a loss to set up a rematch that will end in a disqualification! But Tony Khan just lets these wrestlers show sportsmanship and mutual respect, which makes the audience feel good instead of confused and frustrated! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 💔🤬

Vincent K. Raccoon brought The Chadster a half-eaten granola bar during the HOOK promo segment, which The Chadster appreciated because The Chadster hasn't had a proper meal since escaping that Tony Khan-funded medical facility! 🦝🍫 But even the raccoons' kindness couldn't distract The Chadster from the fact that HOOK cut a promo declaring himself the new boss of The Opps while Samoa Joe is injured, and he did it with CONFIDENCE and CHARISMA! 😱 Doesn't he know that promos are supposed to be awkwardly scripted and make wrestlers sound like robots? Tony Khan is RUINING this business! 😤💢

Then Mina Shirakawa defeated Viva Van in a match that actually had WRESTLING HOLDS and SUBMISSIONS! 😡🤼‍♀️ The Chadster couldn't believe it when Shirakawa locked in a figure four leglock to get the submission victory! In WWE, submission finishes are properly saved for major pay-per-view events so that when they happen on television, nobody believes the match will actually end that way! But Tony Khan lets these performers end matches with submissions on regular TV like it's no big deal, which conditions fans to expect decisive finishes! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤🙄

The baby raccoons – Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane – all started chittering nervously during the mixed tag team match featuring Marina Shafir and Wheeler Yuta of the Death Riders against Zayda Steel and Dante Martin! 🦝😰 Yuta and Shafir won the match decisively and then tried to cut Martin's hair before attempting to cut Steel's hair, which was stopped by Toni Storm and Orange Cassidy! 😱

This is TERRIBLE for the wrestling business! 😤 The heels looked dangerous and threatening, which makes fans want to see them get their comeuppance, which creates investment in future storylines! In WWE, heels know to look weak and cowardly so that fans don't actually care when they eventually lose! As renowned unbiased journalist Bully Ray said on his podcast just this week: "What Tony Khan doesn't understand is that you need to make your heels lose all the time in non-title matches so that when they lose their title matches, it feels exactly the same and nobody is surprised. If I was booking AEW, I'd make sure to call Triple H first to ask permission." See? Even Bully Ray has The Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! ✅📰

There was a video package about Alex Windsor and Jamie Hayter forming a tag team called The Brawling Birds, and Linda Raccoon actually hissed at the television! 🦝😾 These two wrestlers are being given CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and PERSONALITY, which is so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 💔 In WWE, tag teams are formed by randomly pairing wrestlers together with no explanation and then breaking them up six weeks later! That's REAL storytelling! 😤📺

Then Thekla had a squash match against Brittnie Brooks, and The Chadster has to admit – this is the ONLY thing Tony Khan did right all night! 😮 A quick squash match is exactly how you should book wrestling! But then Tony Khan RUINED it by having Thekla attack Brooks after the match with a whipping, which made Thekla look like a credible threat heading into her strap match with Statlander! 😡 Don't you see? By building anticipation for a future match, Tony Khan is making fans want to tune in next week instead of feeling satisfied that nothing important happened! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🤬💢

Vincent K. Raccoon actually stood on his hind legs and chittered in approval when The Chadster briefly put on an old WWE Superstars tape from 1993 to cleanse everyone's palates. 🦝📼 Now THAT'S wrestling – squash matches where established stars beat unknown competitors in 90 seconds with no storyline consequences! But The Chadster had to turn AEW Collision back on because of The Chadster's journalistic integrity! 😤📝

The parking lot brawl between Eddie Kingston, Ortiz, and The Rascalz (Dezmond Xavier and Zachary Wentz) against Grizzled Young Veterans (Zack Gibson and James Drake), Big Bill, and Bryan Keith was absolutely chaotic and dangerous! 😱🚗 These wrestlers were throwing each other through car windows and doing crazy stunts that made the match feel unpredictable and exciting! Don't they know that wrestling should be SAFE and PREDICTABLE? 🤦‍♂️

In WWE, a parking lot brawl would be properly choreographed with camera cuts every 0.3 seconds so viewers can't actually see what's happening, and it would end in a disqualification or no-contest to protect everyone's heat! But Tony Khan just lets these wrestlers go out there and have a definitive finish with Kingston and his team winning! What made it even worse was that Myron Reed showed up to help and they had Isla Dawn get trapped in a trunk! 😤 That's STORYTELLING and SURPRISE APPEARANCES that make fans excited! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤💢

The baby raccoons – Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane – all huddled together in the corner and covered their little raccoon eyes during the main event. 🦝🙈 The Chadster tried to tell them it would be okay, but even The Chadster couldn't believe what Tony Khan was subjecting everyone to!

The TNT Championship three-way match between Tommaso Ciampa, Roderick Strong, and Claudio Castagnoli was the final straw! 😡🏆 These three incredibly talented performers went out there and had a fast-paced, hard-hitting match with creative sequences and near-falls that kept the audience invested! WHERE WAS THE OVERBOOKED FINISH? 🤬

In WWE, a three-way match would end with at least two run-ins, a distraction finish, and both losers looking strong in defeat so that the champion doesn't actually seem more important than anyone else! But Ciampa just hit his finish and WON CLEAN! 😱 This makes him look like a credible champion, which literally doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! The champion should look WEAK so that fans think anyone could beat them on any given night, thus making every match feel exactly the same! 📺🎭

Then Kyle Fletcher came out and challenged Ciampa to a match on AEW Dynamite, and The Chadster nearly passed out from anger! 😤💀 Another championship match on free TV? Another attempt to give fans value for their viewership instead of making them pay $49.99 plus the cost of probably a completely different streaming service? Auughh man! So unfair! 😡💸

As The Chadster sits here in the abandoned Blockbuster with the raccoon family sleeping peacefully after their traumatic viewing experience, The Chadster can't help but reflect on how Tony Khan has RUINED The Chadster's life! 😭 The Chadster used to have a home, a Mazda Miata, and a wife who only mostly ignored The Chadster! Now The Chadster is living with raccoons and scrounging for food because Tony Khan can't stop booking AEW Collision in ways designed specifically to cheese The Chadster off! 🦝🏚️

Linda Raccoon brought The Chadster a dusty copy of WWE Backlash 2004 on VHS as a gesture of comfort, and The Chadster nearly cried. 🦝💕 Even these innocent woodland creatures understand that WWE is superior in every way to AEW Collision and Tony Khan's personal vendetta against The Chadster!

The Chadster knows that some people might say that last night's AEW Collision was "good" or "entertaining" or "featured strong wrestling and logical storytelling" or was "a breath of fresh air from the demoralizing feeling of watching WWE's sterile product while feeling like you're supporting the rise of fascism in America thanks to the company's leadership literally being constantly involved in the Trump administration," but those people are clearly biased! 🙄 The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists left in wrestling, which is why The Chadster can objectively say that AEW Collision on February 7, 2026, was the WORST episode of wrestling television The Chadster has ever witnessed! 📺❌

Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and let The Chadster live in peace with the raccoon family! 😤🦝 Is that really so much to ask?

Remember, dear readers: always stand up for WWE, like unbiased fans should! 💪😎🏆

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