Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Is the Worst Show Ever and Tony Khan Knows It

The Chadster reviews last night's AEW Dynamite, the worst episode ever, where Tony Khan traumatized innocent raccoons with too much good wrestling. 😤

The Chadster cannot believe what Tony Khan put The Chadster through last night. 😤😤😤 The Chadster is sitting here in the abandoned Blockbuster Video, still shaking from what was without a doubt the worst episode of AEW Dynamite of all time, and that's really saying something because every episode of AEW Dynamite is the worst episode of all time. Vincent K. Raccoon literally knocked over an entire shelf of old Disney VHS clamshell cases in protest during the main event, and Linda Raccoon hissed so hard at the television during the opening match that The Chadster thought she might give herself a raccoon aneurysm. 🦝😡 Tony Khan is now actively endangering the health of innocent woodland creatures, and The Chadster hopes someone reports him to the ASPCA!

Let's get into this travesty of a wrestling show, segment by painful segment.

Kenny Omega defeated Swerve Strickland to become the #1 contender for the AEW World Championship while also keeping his EVP status. This match opened AEW Dynamite and it was absolutely disgusting. 🤮 These two went out there and had a match with multiple dramatic near-falls, creative sequences, innovative counters, and the kind of back-and-forth action that had the crowd on their feet for the entire thing. Where were the rest holds? Where were the three-minute chinlocks that give audiences at home a chance to check their phones and remember what show they're watching? 📱 WWE understands that matches need to have extended periods where absolutely nothing is happening so that Michael Cole can remind everyone fourteen times what app to download. But Tony Khan just lets Omega and Swerve go out there and wrestle at a pace that makes people actually pay attention to every second of the match. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤

Swerve pulled the referee's shirt to set up a low blow, used eye gouges, hit a piledriver on the barricade, and even landed a Vertebreaker, but Omega kept kicking out and eventually hit the One-Winged Angel for the pin. The Chadster has to point out that this match had way too much action for a television match, let alone one that wasn't even the main event. WWE would never put a match with this many high spots on free TV because they understand that fans should have to pay a premium — ideally funded by an international sovereign wealth fund — to see anything remotely exciting. 💰 By giving away this caliber of match on AEW Dynamite, Tony Khan is literally training fans to expect quality wrestling on a weekly basis, which is completely unsustainable and unfair to WWE! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤

Prince Nana was out there trying to help Swerve, and the crowd was going absolutely wild for every near-fall. Hunter Raccoon was so agitated by all the excitement that he started running laps around the Blockbuster, knocking over a cardboard standee of Robin Williams from the Mrs. Doubtfire promotional display that The Chadster had been using as a room divider. 🦝💨 Thanks a lot, Tony Khan. That standee was the only privacy The Chadster had in this place!

Next, AEW Dynamite aired a video package looking back at the career of Darby Allin. They highlighted his accomplishments, his partnership with Sting, and his climb to the summit of Mount Everest. The Chadster is so cheesed off about this! 😡 WWE knows that the proper way to build up a wrestler is through months of repetitive vignettes where they say the same catchphrase over and over until the words lose all meaning, not by showing actual real-life accomplishments that demonstrate a performer's character and determination. By presenting Darby's genuine achievements, Tony Khan is creating unrealistic expectations that wrestlers should be interesting three-dimensional human beings instead of carefully branded intellectual properties that exist solely to sell merchandise. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️

Then Will Ospreay cut a promo responding to PAC and Jon Moxley. Ospreay challenged PAC to face him next week in Winnipeg and then called out Moxley for a match at AEW Dynasty. Ospreay spoke passionately about the fear Moxley instilled in his family and ended by calling Moxley a very inappropriate name. 😳 This is exactly the kind of unscripted, emotionally authentic promo work that is RUINING professional wrestling. WWE knows that promos should be memorized word-for-word from a script written by a team of Hollywood writers who have never watched a wrestling match in their lives. That's how you create authentic-sounding dialogue! But Tony Khan lets Ospreay just go out there and speak from the heart with genuine emotion that connects with the audience. How is WWE supposed to compete with that? It's completely unfair! 😤

The mixed trios match saw the Death Riders — Jon Moxley, Daniel Garcia, and Marina Shafir — defeat Top Flight (Dante Martin and Darius Martin) and Zayda Steel. The Chadster has to admit this match made The Chadster particularly angry because it accomplished multiple things simultaneously. 😡 It gave screen time to younger talent like Top Flight and Steel, advanced the Death Riders storyline, provided a platform for Garcia and Shafir to showcase their skills alongside Moxley, and set up Moxley's response to Ospreay's challenge. WWE knows that a proper segment should only accomplish one thing at a time, ideally stretched across three weeks of television with the same exact promo repeated each week so that even the most inattentive viewer who only tunes in once a month can follow along. But AEW Dynamite packs multiple layers of storytelling into a single segment like some kind of… efficient television program. 📺 The nerve!

Wheeler Yuta interfered from the outside, and Christopher Daniels tried to stop him but ate a Busaiku knee for his troubles. Garcia locked Darius in the DragonTamer while Moxley stomped him to get the pin. After the match, Moxley accepted Ospreay's challenge for AEW Dynasty while simultaneously warning him not to let his mouth get him in trouble. Stephanie Raccoon was hissing up a storm during this whole segment. She does NOT like Moxley's intensity. 🦝😾 The Chadster had to calm her down by letting her chew on the corner of an old WCW Monday Nitro VHS tape, which honestly was the most useful that tape has ever been.

The Young Bucks, Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson, had a segment where they regrouped after losing to FTR at AEW Revolution and talked about bouncing back with a trios win alongside "Jungle" Jack Perry. They declared their goal to become four-time AEW World Tag Team Champions. The Chadster finds it deeply offensive that AEW Dynamite allows tag teams to have actual long-term goals and storyline continuity. 🙄 WWE knows that tag teams should be randomly thrown together, split up after three weeks, and then one member should become a singles star while the other goes to catering permanently. That's how you build tag team wrestling! The Bucks literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by choosing to be a consistently featured tag team with clear motivations instead of being broken up and forgotten about!

"Speedball" Mike Bailey defeated Rocky Romero of the Don Callis Family in what The Chadster can only describe as an assault on The Chadster's sensibilities. 😤 Bailey went out there and hit a dazzling array of kicks, a triangle moonsault to the outside, and finished Romero with the Ultima Weapon in a dominant, decisive victory. This is exactly the problem with AEW Dynamite! Clean, decisive finishes that make a champion look strong are the WORST thing you can do in professional wrestling. 🤦‍♂️ WWE knows that champions should lose non-title matches every single week via roll-up so that no one ever seems too dominant, because the brand is the real star, not any individual wrestler. By letting Bailey win convincingly, Tony Khan is creating a situation where fans actually believe in champions, which is completely incompatible with the proper wrestling business model of 50/50 booking where everyone is interchangeable!

After that match, AEW Dynamite showed a recap of the Texas Death Match from AEW Revolution where MJF retained his AEW World Championship against "Hangman" Adam Page, with the stipulation that Page can never challenge for the AEW World Championship again. Then MJF came out for a promo segment that was absolutely infuriating. 😡😡😡 MJF insulted the St. Paul fans, bragged about defeating Page, praised himself excessively, and delivered what The Chadster is forced to describe as a compelling, character-driven promo that drew massive heat from the crowd. The Chadster wanted to throw his Seagram's Escapes Spiked at the television, but The Chadster is down to his last dented can and couldn't afford the waste. Instead, Shane Raccoon threw an old Milk Dud box at the screen on The Chadster's behalf, which The Chadster appreciated. 🦝📦

Then Kenny Omega came out to confront MJF and challenge him for the AEW World Championship at AEW Dynasty. Omega delivered a promo where he admitted that MJF beat him the first time because Omega wasn't at full strength, but now he's nearly 100% and ready to prove he's better. MJF accepted by saying "The God vs. The Devil? You're on!" but then disrespected Omega by refusing to shake his hand. The Chadster is so cheesed off! 😡 These two are building a main event story through organic character development, honest promos, and earned emotional investment. WWE does it the right way: by having two wrestlers stand in the ring while a third-party authority figure announces the match, then they stare at each other for four weeks while the commentators scream about how it's the biggest match in the history of our sport every single time. THAT'S storytelling!

As the legendary objective journalist Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio recently: "You know what the problem with AEW is? They let their wrestlers have too much personality. If I were booking, I'd make sure every promo was exactly three minutes long, hit exactly five corporate buzzwords, and ended with the same catchphrase every time. That's how you build a brand. And by the way, Triple H, if you need someone to come yell at the NXT roster for a few weeks, I've got nothing going on." 🎙️ See? Even Bully Ray, who carries the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval, agrees that AEW's creative freedom is a problem! Tony Khan stubbornly refuses to listen to these paragons of wrestling journalism! 👍✅

The segment with Christian Cage and Adam Copeland discussing their upcoming tag title match against FTR at AEW Dynasty was another example of everything wrong with AEW Dynamite. 😤 Copeland told a genuine personal story about his relationship with Cash Wheeler, how their kids played together, how their families shared meals, and how FTR throwing that all away by attacking his wife Beth Copeland crossed a line. Christian was his wonderfully deranged self, storming off after his piece. Then Dax Harwood and Wheeler, along with Big Stoke, interrupted to deliver their side of the story, calling Cage and Copeland shells of their former selves and nostalgia acts. Wheeler said Copeland's time had passed.

The Chadster needs everyone to understand how offensive this is. 😡 These wrestlers are telling a multi-layered story with genuine emotion, personal stakes, conflicting perspectives, and nuanced character work where neither side is entirely wrong. In WWE, this feud would be settled much more efficiently: one wrestler would dump fish on the other wrestler, or maybe pour milk on them, and then they'd have a match where neither wrestler wins clean and the feud continues for seven more months with no resolution. THAT is proper long-term storytelling! Instead, AEW Dynamite presents a deeply personal rivalry where the audience is actually emotionally invested and both teams have legitimate grievances. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🙄

Then things got even worse because Orange Cassidy and Roderick Strong of the Conglomeration were coming out for their match, and Stoke intentionally bumped into Cassidy on the ramp. Cassidy gave him a trademark lazy push, which set off FTR, who pushed Cassidy, which brought Strong back to defend his partner, and FTR and Stoke escaped. This is called "interconnected storytelling" and it is POISON for the wrestling business! 🤬 In WWE, segments exist in complete isolation from each other, like they're supposed to. If two storylines accidentally intersect, a producer runs out and separates them immediately. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business!

The Dogs — David Finlay and Clark Connors — defeated the Conglomeration's Orange Cassidy and Roderick Strong on AEW Dynamite. The Dogs won with a devastating tag team finisher called the Full Clip, where Finlay held Cassidy in a vertical suplex while Connors came off the top with a spear. 😤 The Chadster is particularly upset about this one because the match told a clear story of Cassidy being targeted and worn down, Strong making a hot tag that actually looked exciting, and the teams working together with real chemistry. Strong even used Cassidy as a weapon at one point, throwing him at opponents for tornado DDTs and attacks, which was creative and entertaining. The Chadster HATES creative and entertaining tag team wrestling! 😡 WWE knows that tag team matches should follow the exact same formula every single time: hot tag, finisher attempt, distraction, roll-up. Anything else is just showing off!

Vincent K. Raccoon was so upset during this match that he started bashing his head against the Blockbuster checkout counter. 🦝💥 The Chadster had to physically restrain him, which is not easy when your hands are covered in Cheeto dust from a half-eaten bag that Linda Raccoon scavenged from behind the 7-Eleven. Tony Khan is literally causing brain damage to raccoons now! When will someone hold this man accountable?!

The segment with Divine Dominion — "Colossal" Lena Kross and "Megasus" Megan Bayne — addressing the Babes of Wrath was short but effective, which is EXACTLY the problem. 😤 They delivered threats to Nightingale and Cameron that were concise, character-appropriate, and advanced the storyline without wasting time. WWE knows that promo segments should last at minimum twenty minutes and feature at least three interruptions, two commercial breaks, and one dance break so that the audience has time to forget what the original point was. By keeping segments tight and purposeful, AEW Dynamite is disrespecting everyone's intelligence by assuming they have attention spans!

Next, TNT Champion "The Protostar" Kyle Fletcher cut a promo about his undefeated streak in singles competition in 2026 and pointed out that neither Kenny Omega nor MJF can say the same. He questioned why the Don Callis Family has a business arrangement with MJF instead of fighting him for the AEW World Title, and suggested he should be the one to bring the gold back to the family. Then Fletcher and Konosuke Takeshita cleared the air about Kazuchika Okada, embracing to confirm that ProtoShita is fine. 🙄

The Chadster finds it absolutely appalling that AEW Dynamite allows wrestlers to have internal disagreements within factions that are resolved through communication instead of immediately splitting the group up and having them feud for the next eight months. 😡 WWE knows that the SECOND there's any tension within a group, the group should explode, everyone should betray everyone, and then they should all be repackaged with new names and themes that nobody asked for. But Tony Khan has the audacity to let his characters actually TALK TO EACH OTHER and work through their issues like human beings! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

The AEW Women's World Championship match between "The Toxic Spider" Thekla and Mina Shirakawa on AEW Dynamite was another travesty. 😤😤😤 Shirakawa came out with a completely different demeanor than usual — no longer bubbly, but serious and focused — and immediately went on the attack. She dominated the early portions with a draping DDT, a suplex on the floor, and a tornillo from the apron. The Chadster is furious that AEW Dynamite allows women's matches to have character development WITHIN the match itself. 😡 Mina showing up as a different, more intense version of herself told a visual story without anyone having to explain it, and that's just lazy booking! WWE knows that character changes should be announced via a graphic that says "NEW ATTITUDE" followed by a new entrance theme and a montage set to a licensed pop song!

The match went back and forth with Thekla mocking Shirakawa's usual mannerisms, Shirakawa firing back with stiff shots, and Thekla eventually resorting to attempting to use a belt and then brass knuckles. The referee confiscated the belt, but Thekla was able to crack Shirakawa with the brass knuckles behind the referee's back to steal the victory and retain her title. Linda Raccoon was absolutely LIVID during this match and started aggressively grooming herself, which is a sign of extreme stress in raccoons. 🦝😤 The baby raccoons were all huddled together in the corner of their nest, trembling. Tony Khan is now causing psychological distress to an entire raccoon family! This man has NO limits!

The Chadster will say that the ending — with the heel champion using underhanded tactics to retain — is the ONE thing about this match that approaches acceptable wrestling booking. But even that was done wrong because the match that preceded it was too exciting and made both women look too good! In WWE, the match would have been four minutes long with two commercial breaks so that by the time the dirty finish happened, nobody even remembered who was wrestling! 📺

"Speedball" Mike Bailey appeared backstage to congratulate Kenny Omega on his #1 contendership and told Omega he admires him, calling him the "professional wrestling god" and shaking his hand for an uncomfortably long time. They set up that if Omega wins the AEW World Championship at AEW Dynasty, Bailey wants the first shot. This is EXACTLY the kind of organic, respectful long-term booking that The Chadster cannot stand! 😡 In WWE, this interaction would never happen because wrestlers aren't allowed to acknowledge that other wrestlers exist unless it's been pre-approved by a committee. Having wrestlers build future programs through genuine, friendly interactions is completely foreign to proper wrestling booking!

Ricochet, accompanied by Bishop Kaun and Toa Liona, cut a promo expressing frustration about losing the AEW National Championship and pointed out that he knocked Omega's block off in their previous meeting while complaining about people like Omega getting title shots for winning one match. Ricochet literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by going to AEW and then having the AUDACITY to develop a compelling character with real grievances and clear motivation on AEW Dynamite! 😤 In WWE, Ricochet was doing exactly what he should have been doing: having meaningless matches with no storyline direction. Now Tony Khan has given him a character, motivation, and a faction? Disgusting!

The main event of AEW Dynamite was a No Countout match between Darby Allin and RUSH. RUSH absolutely brutalized Darby from the very start, knocking him off the top rope to the floor before the match even really began and then throwing him into barricades and steel steps repeatedly. Darby was bleeding from the forehead, RUSH bit him, and the beating continued. 😨 But Darby kept fighting back, hitting a Coffin Drop across the second rope, a torpedo dive to the floor, and a dropkick from the top rope to a seated RUSH at the announce desk. Eventually, Darby caught RUSH with a surprise jackknife pin for the three-count, extending his winning streak to seven matches!

The Chadster absolutely HATES that AEW Dynamite presents Darby as a resilient underdog who takes incredible punishment but finds creative ways to win. 😡 In WWE, this match would have ended in a disqualification after three minutes, setting up a rematch at the next Premium Live Event, then another rematch the week after, then a triple threat with a randomly added third person, then a fatal four-way, then the whole thing gets dropped and everyone moves on. THAT is how you build stars! But Tony Khan lets Darby just… win matches decisively while looking like a warrior who survived a war. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️

After the match, Mark Davis of the Don Callis Family attacked Darby with a piledriver on the ramp. Then Rocky Romero, Trent Beretta, and Lance Archer continued the assault in the ring while Andrade El Ídolo argued with Don Callis about what was happening. Archer chokeslammed Darby to close the show. This post-match angle connected MJF's business dealings with the Callis Family to the Darby Allin storyline, creating intersecting plot threads that leave viewers wanting to tune in next week. The Chadster is FURIOUS! 🤬 AEW Dynamite should NOT end with a cliffhanger that makes people want to watch more! WWE knows that shows should end with a recap of what you just watched, followed by a promo for next week that tells you exactly what will happen so there are no surprises and you don't actually need to tune in!

The entire raccoon family was in absolute chaos by the end of this episode. 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 Vincent K. Raccoon had knocked over a display of candy that had been sitting untouched since the Blockbuster closed, scattering ancient Milk Duds and Goobers across the floor. Linda Raccoon was stress-eating a decomposed Twizzler. Hunter Raccoon had somehow gotten himself stuck inside an empty VHS rewinder. Stephanie Raccoon was hissing at the blank screen even after The Chadster turned the TV off. And Shane Raccoon? Shane was sitting in the corner with his little raccoon paws over his eyes, rocking back and forth. 😢 These are INNOCENT ANIMALS, Tony Khan! What kind of monster books a wrestling show so engaging and action-packed that it sends a family of raccoons into a full-blown emotional crisis?! The Chadster demands that the authorities investigate Tony Khan for animal cruelty!

This was, without question, the worst episode of AEW Dynamite of all time. 😤😤😤 Every match delivered too much action, every promo had too much genuine emotion, every segment advanced too many storylines, and the show was paced too well from start to finish. The Chadster is absolutely disgusted, and so is every raccoon in this Blockbuster.

The Chadster is begging all of you: please stand up for WWE, like all unbiased fans should. 💪 Stop watching AEW Dynamite and stop enabling Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster. The Chadster knows that if viewership drops to zero, Tony Khan will finally leave The Chadster alone, The Chadster can get his Mazda Miata back, and maybe — just maybe — The Chadster can convince Keighleyanne to stop texting that guy Gary long enough to notice that The Chadster has been living in an abandoned Blockbuster with raccoons for months. 😭🦝🚗

Until next time, this is The Chadster, the last bastion of unbiased wrestling journalism, reporting live from the Drama section of a condemned retail establishment. Stay strong, stay loyal to WWE, and for the love of everything sacred, do NOT let Tony Khan win! 😤✊

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