Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Last Stop on the Road to Grand Slam Australia

El Presidente previews tonight's AEW Dynamite with two title matches, a mystery team, and Kenny Omega and Swerve Strickland face-to-face!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my golden throne room where I am watching my collection of classic wrestling matches on seventeen monitors simultaneously (the CIA tried to cut my cable last week, but jokes on them—I have satellite!). Tonight, we have a very special edition of AEW Dynamite, and let me tell you, the card is more stacked than the Swiss bank accounts of my fellow dictators!

AEW Dynamite airs tonight at 8pm ET/7pm CT on TBS and Max, and comrades, this is the FINAL Wednesday night Dynamite before the company heads down under to Australia for AEW Grand Slam in Sydney. As someone who once had to flee to Australia to escape an attempted coup (I spent three lovely weeks in a kangaroo sanctuary—don't ask), I can tell you the Australians know how to throw a party, and All Elite Wrestling is going to give them quite the show. But first, we must get through tonight's absolutely loaded card!

Let us begin with the AEW Women's World Championship, where Kris Statlander will defend her title against Thekla in a STRAP MATCH! Ah yes, the strap match—a stipulation that reminds me of the time Fidel Castro and I got into an argument about who had the better beard, and we settled it with a strap match in his palace courtyard. I won, naturally, though Fidel claimed the humidity gave him an unfair disadvantage. But I digress! Statlander has been an absolutely dominant champion, comrades, using her alien strength to dispatch challenger after challenger. But Thekla is no ordinary opponent—she is vicious, she is skilled, and she is connected to a leather strap that can be used as a weapon! This match is going to be brutal, and I predict we will see Statlander's toughest test yet.

Next, we have the AEW TNT Championship on the line as Tommaso Ciampa defends against Kyle Fletcher! Ciampa, the Blackheart himself, has brought a level of old-school intensity to the TNT Championship that reminds me of the intensity I bring to redistributing wealth from the oligarchs (directly into my personal—I mean, the PEOPLE'S treasury). Fletcher, meanwhile, has been on an absolute tear lately, and this could be his moment to break through to the next level. The CIA once told me that Fletcher was too nice to be a true main eventer, but I told them they were fools! Nice guys can finish first—just look at me! I am very nice, and I won my last election with 115% of the vote!

But comrades, perhaps the most intriguing match of the night is the triple threat number one contender's match for FTR's AEW World Tag Team Championship! The Young Bucks will face The Rascalz and a MYSTERY TEAM! Ah, mystery teams—they are like surprise military coups, you never know when they are coming, but they always make things exciting! The Young Bucks are babyfaces again, and they are hoping for another run with. the belts. The Rascalz are hungry young competitors who remind me of my younger self when I was just a humble revolutionary with dreams of having my own palace with a moat. But who is the mystery team? Could it be a returning duo? A new combination? The suspense is killing me more than that poisoned cigar the CIA sent me last Christmas!

And finally, comrades, we have the confrontation everyone is talking about: Kenny Omega and Swerve Strickland will come face-to-face after Strickland "accidentally" cost Omega his number one contender's match against Andrade El Idolo last week! Now, I know something about "accidents," comrades. Just last month, my rival General Rodriguez "accidentally" drove his jeep into a ditch after I "accidentally" had the road signs pointing in the wrong direction. These things happen! But I do not think Omega is buying Swerve's explanation, and when these two volatile personalities collide tonight on AEW Dynamite, sparks are going to fly!

So comrades, make sure you tune in to AEW Dynamite tonight at 8pm ET on TBS and Max! It is going to be a show for the ages, and as always, I will be watching from my palace, taking notes on successful power plays that I can use in my next cabinet meeting.

Until next time, comrades: Viva la revolucion! Viva la lucha libre!

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!