Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: The Chadster's Miata Pays Ultimate Price

The Chadster previews AEW Dynamite, recounts his Miata tragedy, and warns viewers about Tony Khan's devious plans. Auughh man! It's just so unfair! 😫🚗💔

Before previewing tonight's AEW Dynamite, The Chadster must apologize to all the loyal readers of Bleeding Cool. The Chadster didn't cover WWE Raw this Monday, and The Chadster has no one to blame except for… Tony Khan! 😡 As The Chadster noted during his live coverage of AEW All In last weekend, The Chadster was so incensed by Bryan Danielson, who should rightfully have retired in WWE, winning the AEW World Championship in a title vs career match against Swerve Strickland in the All In main event that The Chadster had no choice but to go outside and, in an uncharacteristic moment of poor judgment, light his beloved Mazda Miata on fire. 🔥🚗 As a result, The Chadster spent the last few days sleeping in the waiting room of his auto mechanic, awaiting any word on whether the Miata could be saved. 😴🛠️

Luckily, it turns out The Chadster can have all the burnt upholstery and interior equipment replaced for just $20,000. 💸 Yes, The Chadster is going to have to write for Bleeding Cool for the rest of his life to pay that off, but The Chadster would do anything to save his beloved Mazda Miata. And The Chadster doesn't want to hear anyone saying that's ridiculous — The Chadster has seen what people pay in vet bills for their cats. 🐱 And a Miata is way better than a cat or a dog. But The Chadster will most definitely be sending the bill for this to Tony Khan, even though The Chadster knows he won't pay it. This was all his fault, and it is definitely just so unfair! 😤

Thankfully, The Chadster should have his car back… auughh man! So unfair! Just in time for AEW All Out! 😖

Now, The Chadster must once again subject himself to the torture of previewing tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite. 📺 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is still trying to compete with WWE after all this time. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😔

First up on AEW Dynamite, we'll be hearing from the new AEW World Champion, Bryan Danielson. 🏆 The Chadster can't believe Danielson would stab Triple H in the back like this by winning a championship in AEW. It's clear that Danielson doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

Next, we'll see Ricochet make his AEW Dynamite debut against Kyle Fletcher. 🤸‍♂️ The Chadster is so cheesed off that Ricochet would jump ship to AEW. It's like he's personally trying to hurt The Chadster's feelings. 💔

Jamie Hayter is also returning to action on AEW Dynamite for the first time since May 2023. 🤼‍♀️ The Chadster doesn't understand why anyone would want to watch Hayter when they could be watching real stars like Nia Jax or Jade Cargill on WWE programming. 👑

In an eight-man tag team match, HOOK and The Conglomeration will face Roderick Strong and The Learning Tree. 🏷️ The Chadster thinks this is just Tony Khan trying to confuse viewers with too many people in the ring at once. It's not like the classic, simple tag team matches that WWE perfected. 😒

There's also going to be a singles match between Tomohiro Ishii and "Hangman" Adam Page. 🤠 The Chadster doesn't even want to think about how much this match will probably cheese him off. It's like Tony Khan is booking these matches specifically to upset The Chadster. 😠

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, last night The Chadster had another one of his recurring nightmares about Tony Khan. 😱 In this dream, The Chadster was driving his newly repaired Mazda Miata through a car wash, but instead of soap and water, the car wash was spraying White Claw seltzer all over The Chadster's car, even more than The Chadster could catch in his mouth and drink. 🚿 As The Chadster's car emerged from the other side, Tony Khan was there, dressed as a car detailer, offering to hand-dry The Chadster's car with AEW t-shirts. The Chadster tried to drive away, but the car wouldn't start, and Tony Khan just kept getting closer and closer with those AEW shirts. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw knocked over on the nightstand. Auughh man! When will Tony Khan stop invading The Chadster's dreams?! It's so unfair! 😫

The Chadster warns all the readers not to tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS because it will only embolden Tony Khan, and who knows how many Mazda Miatas will have to suffer due to his irresponsible booking. 🚫📺 The Chadster's car has already paid the ultimate price, and The Chadster doesn't want anyone else to go through what he's been through. Instead, true wrestling fans should rewatch classic WWE matches on Peacock and remember what real wrestling is all about. 🥊💪

In conclusion, The Chadster just wants to remind everyone that AEW Dynamite will never live up to the glory of WWE. Tony Khan should just give up his futile attempts to upstage the greatest wrestling company in the world. It's clear that Tony Khan and AEW don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and The Chadster, as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, will continue to point this out week after week. 📝💯

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