Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: A Personal Attack on WWE and The Chadster

Tony Khan cheesed off The Chadster again with AEW Dynamite's excessive wrestling and crowd-pleasing moments! The Chadster gives his unbiased review of this terrible program! 😠

AEW Dynamite was on last night, and as usual, Tony Khan went out of his way to personally offend The Chadster with his booking decisions. 😠 The Chadster had to suffer through two hours of programming that literally stabbed Triple H right in the back, and The Chadster is going to tell you all about it because The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling. 🧐💯

The show started with an eight-man tag featuring Kenny Omega, Mark Briscoe, Mike Bailey, and Kevin Knight against Kazuchika Okada, Ricochet, and The Young Bucks. 😒

What a terrible way to start AEW Dynamite! 😤 Having a fast-paced, action-packed match with multiple stars just screams desperation. WWE would never open a show with excitement and energy like this – they understand proper pacing and storytelling! This match had way too many moves and the crowd was way too invested. 😡 The fans were chanting "This is awesome" which is so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Okada pinned Briscoe after a Rainmaker, which is just Tony Khan's way of trying to make The Chadster upset. Auughh man! So unfair! 😩 WWE would have had a proper DQ finish or a count-out to protect everyone, but Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

Then The Hurt Syndicate talked about MJF in a backstage segment. 😠 The Chadster cannot believe Tony Khan is still using MVP, Bobby Lashley, and Shelton Benjamin, who have all literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW. 🔪 They all had perfectly good opportunities to sit at home not wrestling instead of appearing on AEW Dynamite! 😤

The Opps (with Samoa Joe, Katsuyori Shibata, and Powerhouse Hobbs) squashed some nobodies, which is just Tony Khan's way of making his stars look strong. 😒 WWE would never waste time making their stars look dominant – that's not how real wrestling works when you can instead have commentary shout the nicknames of those stars over and over to demonstrate their dominance! 🙄

After the match, The Death Riders attacked, and Samoa Joe challenged Jon Moxley to a Steel Cage match at Beach Break. 😡 Using a cage match to settle a heated feud is just so derivative and shows how Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 💔

Then Toni Storm faced Miyu Yamashita in a match that Tony Khan had the audacity to make into a competitive contest. 😤 The Chadster was absolutely cheesed off that AEW tries to tell stories through in-ring action instead of candid backstage segments or half-hour-long promos. 🤦‍♂️ Storm won with Storm Zero, maintaining her undefeated record in eliminator matches.

Mercedes Mone came out after the match to confront Storm, but Jamie Hayter attacked Mercedes. 😠 Having multiple storylines running simultaneously is just Tony Khan's way of making The Chadster's life miserable. Auughh man! So unfair! 😩

MJF and The Hurt Syndicate had a segment where Bobby Lashley gave MJF a thumbs down on joining the group, telling him to "hurt somebody" to impress him. 😒 This is just Tony Khan's way of building long-term storylines with character development, which is so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 💔

Nick Wayne defended his ROH TV Title against Jay Lethal in a match that actually featured wrestling moves and psychology. 🙄 Nick won with an inverted fisherman buster, which is just Tony Khan trying to be different for the sake of being different. 😤 WWE would have had a roll-up finish like proper wrestling should because smaller wrestlers can't beat larger wrestlers through skill alone!

Hangman Page faced Kyle Fletcher in the Owen Hart Tournament semi-final, and they had the audacity to have an epic match with near falls and big moves. 🤬 Page won after hitting two Buckshot Lariats, advancing to the finals. This match went way too long and had way too much action, which is just Tony Khan trying to cheese The Chadster off. 😤

The whole AEW Dynamite was a disaster from start to finish. All those exciting matches, storyline progression, and crowd reactions are exactly why AEW is ruining the wrestling business. 😩 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Last night, The Chadster had another horrifying nightmare about Tony Khan. 😨 In the dream, The Chadster was inside a steel cage match trying to escape, but every time The Chadster climbed the cage, Tony Khan was waiting at the top with a Rainmaker lariat. 😱 The Chadster would fall back into the ring, and Tony Khan would laugh maniacally while holding up eight fingers, obviously referencing the eight-man tag from AEW Dynamite. 🥶

The cage kept getting higher and higher, and suddenly The Chadster noticed the audience was filled with White Claw seltzers with faces, all chanting "AEW! AEW!" 😨 Tony Khan slid into the ring wearing Hangman Page's gear and whispered, "I'm coming for your Miata next, Chad" before hitting The Chadster with a Buckshot Lariat. 😱

The Chadster woke up sweating and screaming, which made Keighleyanne roll her eyes and go back to texting that guy Gary. 😢 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading The Chadster's dreams! It's unprofessional and weird! 😤

As Ariel Helwani so wisely said on his podcast last week, "AEW matches are just too exciting and engaging for the modern wrestling fan, who clearly prefers predictable outcomes and rest holds. Tony Khan should learn from WWE's superior storytelling where matches end in two minutes with distraction roll-ups." See? Even Eric agrees with The Chadster's unbiased analysis! 📊💯

The Chadster is going to drink a whole case of White Claw seltzer to forget about this terrible episode of AEW Dynamite. 🍹 Maybe The Chadster will also go for a drive in The Chadster's Mazda Miata with Smash Mouth blasting because somebody once told The Chadster the world was gonna roll The Chadster, and Tony Khan ain't the sharpest tool in the shed! 🚗🎵

Auughh man! So unfair! 😩

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