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AEW Dynamite Review: AEW Has No Right to Be Cool Again

The Chadster is CHEESED OFF about AEW Dynamite's latest attack on WWE! Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster reaches new lows. So unfair! 😤🤼‍♂️

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Article Summary

  • AEW Dynamite insults WWE’s legacy with chaotic matches and disrespectful debuts—so unfair to true wrestling!
  • Tony Khan’s obsession with upstaging WWE ruins wrestling, ignores proper sports entertainment psychology!
  • Pointless title bouts and messy storytelling prove AEW can’t match WWE’s creative genius and prestige!
  • AEW’s so-called “revolution” is a slap in the face to WWE fans everywhere—cancel this show already!

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster just suffered through another episode of AEW Dynamite, and Tony Khan has truly outdone himself this time with his relentless obsession with cheesing off The Chadster! 🧀😠 This entire episode of AEW Dynamite was nothing but a two-hour assault on everything WWE has built, and The Chadster is absolutely disgusted! 🤮

AEW Dynamite Review: Tony Khan's Latest Attack on WWE and The Chadster's Sanity 😡💔

A female wrestler known as The Toxic Spider Thekla is in a dramatic pose in the wrestling ring, preparing to attack. She has short blonde hair and wears a silver outfit, with fans in the background showing excitement.
The Toxic Spider Thekla debuts on AEW Dynamite, attacking Jamie Hayter.

Hangman Page's Hypocritical Opening 🤠💸

AEW Dynamite opened with Hangman Adam Page delivering some sanctimonious speech about "integrity" and "the spirit of competition" 🙄✨ It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! The Chadster couldn't help but notice how Page is trying to position himself as some kind of noble babyface when everyone knows that CM Punk is the real standard-bearer for integrity in professional wrestling! 💯🏆 The fact that Page seems to be the person that CM Punk pretends to be is like spitting in the face of the Voice of the Voiceless. And Page talking about "upholding AEW's identity" is clearly a shot at WWE's perfectly crafted sports entertainment product! Auughh man! So unfair! 😭

When Swerve Strickland and Will Ospreay interrupted, The Chadster was reminded of how WWE would never allow such emotional, character-driven segments! 📺🎭 Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks this messy storytelling compares to WWE's pristine character development! 🎪✨

Mixed Trios Mayhem 🤼‍♂️💀

The mixed trios match featuring Mark Briscoe, Speedball Mike Bailey, Willow Nightingale against Jon Moxley, Marina Shafir, and Gabe Kidd was everything wrong with AEW Dynamite! 🚫⚡ All this high-flying, fast-paced action is just Tony Khan trying to show off instead of focusing on proper WWE-style psychology, which involves lots of rest-holds, shouting of catchphrases by the commentary team, and a match structure built around commercial breaks! The Death Riders winning via submission was clearly booked just to make WWE's distraction finishes look bad by comparison! 🎭🏁

No DQ Disaster and Trios Trash 🗑️🔥

The No Disqualification match between Anna Jay, Harley Cameron versus Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford was typical AEW Dynamite garbage! 🗑️💸 All this weapon usage and blood is just gratuitous violence that makes WWE's family-friendly entertainment look bad! Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford winning means nothing compared to the storytelling excellence of WWE Women's matches! 👑✨

The Opps defeating Frat House was another example of Tony Khan not understanding a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤡📚 In WWE, jobber factions don't get a chance to show off their personality and try to get over with the crowd. They take their loss and move onto more important things, like the commentary team shouting a lot. Once again, Tony Khan displays a complete lack of understanding of the proper way to do wrestling! 🏢⚡

The Toxic Spider's Disrespectful Debut 🕷️😡

But perhaps the most offensive segment on this episode of AEW Dynamite was when Thekla, "The Toxic Spider," made her debut by attacking Jamie Hayter! 🕸️💀 This is everything wrong with Tony Khan's approach to the wrestling business! Instead of properly acquiring talent by buying out entire promotions like WWE correctly does, Tony Khan just lets wrestlers from other companies like Stardom waltz into AEW and get recognition! 🎪🌍

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! WWE understands that the proper way to do business is to show off your massive financial superiority by constantly pointing out how your promotion is the only one that matters! 💰👑 This whole "co-existing with other promotions" nonsense is clearly Tony Khan not understanding a single thing about the wrestling business! WWE would never allow such acknowledgment of inferior competitors! 🚫📺

The fact that AEW treats other wrestling promotions with respect instead of showing proper insecurity about their existence proves that Tony Khan has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 🗡️💔

Championship Chaos 🏆💔

Adam Cole retaining the TNT Championship via DQ against Kyle Fletcher proves that AEW Dynamite doesn't know how to book satisfying conclusions! 📺🚫 WWE would never resort to such cheap finishes!

And Brody King advancing in the International Championship tournament is clearly just Tony Khan trying to confuse fans with too many titles, unlike WWE's perfectly streamlined number of championships, which is, yes, more than AEW has, but they actually matter! 👑📊

According to wrestling journalism legend Eric Bischoff, who has The Chadster's Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval: "AEW's championship booking is complete amateur hour compared to WWE's masterful title picture. Tony Khan should take notes from Triple H's brilliant creative direction." 📝💯 The Chadster wonders if Eric also suffers Tony Khan's torment for his objective journalism! 🤔😰

Mercedes Moné's Disrespectful Revolution 👸💸

The closing segment with Toni Storm and Mercedes Moné was the most offensive part of AEW Dynamite! 😡🔥 How dare Moné call herself "The Revolution" when everyone knows Stephanie McMahon started the Women's Revolution! 👑⚡ It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! This whole segment, and all of the pro-AEW sentiment on this show, literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 🗡️💔

After AEW Dynamite, Last Night's Tony Khan Nightmare 😴👹

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, The Chadster had another terrifying nightmare about him last night! 😱🌙 The Chadster was driving the Mazda Miata through a foggy El Paso street when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, sitting in the backseat wearing a cowboy hat! 🤠🚗 "Hey there, Chad," he whispered seductively, "ready for some Dynamite?" The Chadster tried to escape, but every turn led to the El Paso County Coliseum! 🏟️🌪️ Khan kept appearing at every street corner, tipping his hat and winking, until The Chadster crashed the Miata into a giant AEW logo! 💥📺 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and it's so unfair that Tony Khan keeps invading The Chadster's dreams! Stop being so obsessed with The Chadster, Tony! 😡💤

An Open Letter to the Network and Tony Khan

Dear Television Network Executives 📺👔,

The Chadster is seriously troubled by your decision to continue airing AEW Dynamite on your network. 😡 Despite The Chadster's desperate efforts to encourage a fair and sane wrestling product, Tony Khan's unholy obsession with driving The Chadster up the wall persists! 😤💢

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 📜🏆 Not only does Tony Khan's booking render the wrestling world unsafe for The Chadster to occupy, but it's a slap in the face to the superior creativity of WWE's sports entertainment! 🤼‍♂️✨

Please, do what's right for the wrestling community and cancel AEW Dynamite! 🚫🛑 Allowing it to continue is simply encouraging this absurd and unjust competition with WWE's pristine product! The Chadster implores you to consider this request with the utmost seriousness and, in the name of all that is right in the wrestling world, act accordingly! 🙏💔

Sincerest regards,
The Chadster 😔📧

The Bottom Line on AEW Dynamite 📺⚡

Auughh man! So unfair! 😭 Tony Khan's AEW Dynamite continues to cheese off The Chadster with its obvious attempts to upstage WWE's superior programming! The fact that AEW keeps putting on these crowd-pleasing shows is a direct attack on WWE's monopoly that they worked so hard to build! 🏢💪

The Chadster needs a White Claw and some Smash Mouth to recover from this traumatic AEW Dynamite experience! 🍺🎵 "Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me" – but The Chadster refuses to let Tony Khan's obsession break The Chadster's spirit! 💪✨

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan and now journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do. The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans. The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.
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