Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: Everything Wrong With Last Night's Show

The Chadster suffered through another Tony Khan disaster on AEW Dynamite! From Kenny Omega to Toni Storm, this show was literally designed to cheese The Chadster off! 😡 🤬 🍹

Last night's AEW Dynamite was another example of how Tony Khan is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back with his booking decisions. The Chadster had to suffer through two hours of this garbage, and The Chadster feels obligated to share this pain with his readers because The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling. 😡 💔 🤬

The show started with Kenny Omega facing Blake Christian for the International Championship. Omega won with his One-Winged Angel, which is so unfair because WWE wrestlers would have had a more competitive match that tells a proper story. Then Mike Bailey came out to challenge him, followed by Ricochet appearing on the screen. Auughh man! So unfair! 😠 📺 👊 Apparently Ricochet got married today, and The Chadster can only hope he shows more loyalty to his new spouse than he did to WWE when he betrayed them by joining AEW. 💔 😢 👎

Next we had Chris Jericho with his "Learning Tree" nonsense challenging Bandido to a mask vs. title match. This kind of mask stipulation is the exact opposite of how WWE would book things, which proves Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🎭 🏆 🙄

Then MJF came out to talk to MVP about joining the Hurt Syndicate, but Bobby Lashley ripped up the business card. In WWE, wrestlers don't take back offers to join stables, which is a totally unprofessional way to conduct business, or to conduct syndicate for that matter. The Chadster was so cheesed off he had to crack open another White Claw seltzer just to calm down. 🍹 📱 😡

Kyle Fletcher vs. Brody King was next, and Fletcher won thanks to interference from Mark Davis. Then Powerhouse Hobbs squashed Davis right after. What is this booking? It's like Tony Khan just throws darts at a board to decide who wins! 🎯 😤 👎

After that, AEW Dynamite treated us to a "sit-down interview" with Rated FTR, where Dax Harwood, Cash Wheeler, and Adam Copeland had a little therapy session about their feelings. Dax apologized for getting emotional, Cash talked about friendship, and Cope wanted to challenge the Death Riders. The Chadster can't believe this garbage! In WWE, wrestlers solve their problems in the ring, not by sharing their feelings like they're on Dr. Phil! Except for all those times WWE wrestlers literally had therapy sessions on TV, but that was different because it was done the right way, the WWE way. This? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙄 💤 😤

Swerve Strickland confronted Jon Moxley about the AEW World Championship, and they're headed to a match at Dynasty. The Chadster still remembers when Moxley was Dean Ambrose in WWE, where he was booked properly. Now he's just doing hardcore garbage that literally stabs Triple H right in the back, and somehow he and Swerve are arguing about who bleeds more as if that's something to be proud of?! 🔪 🩸 😢

The Chadster had to throw his White Claw seltzer at the TV when Top Flight squashed some jobbers. The seltzer exploded all over The Chadster's living room carpet! 🍹 💦 😠

"Keighleyanne, Tony Khan made The Chadster throw another White Claw!" The Chadster shouted.

Keighleyanne looked up from her phone, sighed, and said, "Clean it up yourself, Chad. I'm not responsible for your temper tantrums."

"But it's Tony Khan's fault!" The Chadster insisted. "He booked these matches specifically to cheese The Chadster off!"

"Whatever," Keighleyanne replied, going back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 😡 💔

Then we had Mark Briscoe vs. Konosuke Takeshita with Don Callis on commentary. This match was so offensive to The Chadster because it featured actual wrestling moves instead of proper sports entertainment. Takeshita won with his Raging Fire finisher after Briscoe hit a Jay Driller that should have ended the match if Tony Khan understood how finishers are supposed to work. The fact that Briscoe kicked out of a Blue Thunder Bomb earlier is just another example of how AEW doesn't respect move hierarchy the way WWE properly does. Auughh man! So unfair! 😠 👎 🤼‍♂️

The main event saw Megan Bayne pin the Women's World Champion Toni Storm in a tag team match. This is exactly the kind of 50/50 booking that Tony Khan thinks is good for business when anyone with a brain knows that WWE's protected champions are the right way to do things. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 👑 👎 🤮

Speaking of disrespect, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. In this dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through St. Paul, Minnesota, listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" and enjoying a refreshing White Claw seltzer. Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat wearing a Kenny Omega t-shirt!

"Hello Chad," he whispered, his eyes glowing with an unnatural light. "I've booked tonight's Dynamite just for you. Well, you and the sickos."

The Chadster tried to escape, but the Miata's doors locked themselves. Tony Khan started going through the entire card for AEW Dynamite, match by match, explaining how each booking decision was made specifically to upset The Chadster.

"And Megan Bayne pinning Toni Storm? I did that because I knew you'd hate a champion losing," Khan laughed, his voice echoing unnaturally in the confined space of the Miata.

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, with Keighleyanne asking why The Chadster was shouting "Objective journalism!" in his sleep. 😨 🌙 😡

As renowned wrestling journalist Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week: "AEW's booking is like giving a child fingerpaints and telling them to recreate the Mona Lisa. They're just splashing colors around without understanding the masterpiece that is WWE's booking philosophy." This is why Eric Bischoff has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! 🏆 🎖️ 📝

In conclusion, AEW Dynamite was another example of how Tony Khan is deliberately booking a show to cheese The Chadster off. Every match, every segment, every camera angle was designed specifically to upset The Chadster, and that's just so unfair! 😡 😤 🤬

The Chadster gives this episode of AEW Dynamite zero stars out of five. And that's the bottom line, because The Chadster said so! 🚫 ⭐ 💯

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