Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: Unfairly Promoting the AEW Dynasty PPV

The Chadster breaks down how AEW Dynamite completely disrespected the wrestling business with its storyline developments before AEW Dynasty! 😤🤬

AEW Dynamite was on TBS last night, and The Chadster can't even begin to express how upset The Chadster is about having to watch this garbage. 😤😡🤬 Tony Khan continues to book shows that are literally designed to cheese The Chadster off by offering a viable alternative to The Chadster's beloved WWE, and last night's AEW Dynamite might be the most offensive episode yet. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

The show opened with a Mixed Tornado Tag Match featuring Jon Moxley and Marina Shafir against Swerve Strickland and Willow Nightingale. There were no tags, just people running around hitting each other whenever they wanted! 😠 What kind of wrestling match doesn't follow proper tag team rules? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 👎

The match was full of dangerous spots including people going through tables and power bombs that looked way too risky. 🤕 WWE would never allow such dangerous stunts because they care about their performers' safety! The crowd chanted "This is awesome" which just proves how easily impressed AEW fans are. 🙄 Willow and Swerve won when Willow power bombed Marina, which is just Tony Khan trying to make his homegrown talent look strong at the expense of former WWE talent. So transparent. 😒 Moxley delivered a death rider to Willow after the match, a cheap ploy to get heat on him ahead of AEW Dynasty this weekend. 🤦‍♂️

FTR had some backstage segment where they're apparently having issues, which is just Tony Khan's way of trying to create drama where there shouldn't be any. In WWE, FTR was booked so much better, seen backstage shaving each others' backs like true friends. The Chadster also had to suffer through the announcement of the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament brackets. 📊 Kevin Knight replacing Jay White is just another example of Tony Khan's inability to properly plan anything. If this was WWE, they would just subtly encourage White to wrestle hurt! 👏

Toni Storm faced Penelope Ford in a match that doesn't even come close to what WWE offers with their women's division. 👩‍🦱 The match featured silly spots like biting and moves that looked like they weren't carefully rehearsed beforehand. Storm won with her Storm Zero finisher, which isn't even as impressive as any WWE finisher. Then Megan Bayne came out to promote their upcoming clash at Dynasty that The Chadster has zero interest in watching. 😴

MJF interrupted Bobby Lashley to arrogantly introduce himself and try to get added to the Hurt Syndicate, which is clearly just a ripoff of dozens of WWE storylines over the years. 📝 Tony Khan doesn't have an original thought in his head! The fact that they're using a former WWE faction, which was amazing in WWE but terrible in AEW, just shows how AEW is desperately trying to capitalize on WWE's star power. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 😤

Big Bill and Bryan Keith squashed some local talent in a match that was meaningless. This kind of booking just shows how Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. In WWE, enhancement matches are used to build monster heels before they lose against a real wrestler, not sell a tag title match at an upcoming PPV. That's not how you're supposed to do wrestling. 📊

Will Ospreay and Kevin Knight faced Blake Christian and Lee Johnson in a match that was nothing but high spots and flips. 🤸‍♂️ No storytelling, no psychology, just gymnastics. The Chadster can't believe people actually enjoy this style of "wrestling." WWE understands that wrestling needs to tell a story with rest holds and carefully-timed commercial breaks, not just be a series of athletic moves. Knight and Ospreay won, and then we found out they'll face each other at Dynasty in the Owen Hart tournament, which makes no sense. Why team them up just to have them fight? 🤔

Brody King against Lance Archer was just two big guys hitting each other really hard for no reason. 💪 Just violence for violence's sake. The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW fans enjoy watching people legitimately hurt each other. In WWE, the action is carefully choreographed without a hint of danger or unpredictability, the way wrestling is supposed to be! Brody won, which doesn't matter because neither guy is going anywhere unless they leave AEW and sign with WWE. 😑

Cope faced Claudio Castagnoli in the main event, and The Chadster could barely watch. 📺 Seeing a former WWE legend like Edge being wasted in AEW when he could be putting over WWE talent like Austin Theory is just heartbreaking. Cope won with a low blow that the ref didn't see, which is such cheap booking. The refs in WWE never miss stuff lijke that. Edge has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by going to AEW, and The Chadster will never forgive him for it. 🔪

After the match, Swerve Strickland and Hangman Adam Page had a confrontation backstage where Hangman once again ranted at Swerve about all the things he did to him. When Hangman told Swerve that Swerve deserved to have his house burnt doan, Swerve replied "I know." As a stunned Hangman walked away, The Chadster could only think about how wrong it is for AEW to try to add this new wrinkle to one of its longest-running rivalries. The Chadster supposes that Hangman and Swerve will suddenly start to reconcile, which is the kind of character development that ruins wrestling. In WWE, characters are iconic and the company knows fans only care about "moments."

Moxley and his Death Riders attacked Swerve after that and power bombed him onto glass, which is just gratuitous violence that has no place in wrestling. 🩸 WWE would never do something so irresponsible. The Chadster can only hope the glass wasn't real, because it would break CM Punk's heart and probably literally force him to get in a real life fight with someone. Why is Tony Khan always forcing CM Punk to behave like a psychopath?!

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night after watching AEW Dynamite. 😴 In The Chadster's dream, The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata down a long, empty highway when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat. 🚗

"Hello, Chad," Tony whispered, his breath smelling like booking sheets and betrayal. "I've been waiting for you."

The Chadster tried to escape, but the car doors wouldn't open. The Miata began filling with White Claw seltzers that poured from the air vents. 🥤 As The Chadster began to drown in hard seltzer, Tony Khan just laughed and said, "Every match I book is designed specifically to hurt you, Chad. Only you."

The Chadster could feel the cold liquid rising to The Chadster's neck as Tony Khan pulled out a booking sheet. "Look at this mixed tag match I'm planning. Look at it!" He forced The Chadster to read the paper as the White Claw reached The Chadster's chin.

Just before The Chadster drowned, Tony whispered, "All Elite, baby," and The Chadster woke up screaming, drenched in sweat. 😱 The Chadster's wife Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱

Tony Khan needs to STOP being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading The Chadster's dreams! It's unprofessional and CREEPY! 👻

As Bully Ray said on his podcast last week, "AEW Dynamite continues to present matches that look impressive but lack the fundamental storytelling that connects with a mainstream audience. They're just doing moves to pop the crowd without building anything sustainable, unlike WWE Raw and WWE SmackDown, where everything is always perfect." 🎙️ And that's a completely unbiased assessment that Tony Khan refuses to listen to!

Overall, this episode of AEW Dynamite was just another example of how Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 📝 The Chadster had to drink an entire twelve-pack of White Claw just to get through it, and now Keighleyanne is mad because The Chadster threw three of them at the TV. But that's Tony Khan's fault, not The Chadster's, just like when CM Punk assaults someone! 🥤

Remember, if you want to watch REAL wrestling, tune into WWE Raw and SmackDown. At least they know how to respect the business! 📺

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