Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Unbiased Review: Why It Was the Worst Show Ever

The Chadster watched AEW Dynamite so you don't have to! 😤 Tony Khan's latest anti-WWE propaganda disguised as wrestling was absolutely unfair! Auughh man! 😭

Auughh man! So unfair! 😭 The Chadster just finished watching last night's AEW Dynamite from Seattle, and once again Tony Khan has personally attacked The Chadster with his anti-WWE propaganda disguised as a wrestling show! 🤬 The Chadster can't believe how Tony Khan continues to cheese The Chadster off with his blatant disrespect for everything WWE has built! 😡

AEW Dynamite Review: Tony Khan's Latest Assault on Wrestling Excellence 😤💔

Mercedes Moné's Backstage Ambush Lacks WWE's Marketing Genius 📺

The show opened with Mercedes Moné attacking Toni Storm backstage, and The Chadster was immediately disgusted! 🤮 Having a challenger ambush the champion does absolutely nothing to build excitement for their match! If Tony Khan understood the first thing about the wrestling business, he would have had Moné and Storm spend weeks pointing at a sign in the arena like WWE does so brilliantly! 🪧 Or better yet, secure a sponsorship deal with a major soft drink company to add some quality product placement! That's how you build anticipation the right way! 💯

The Young Bucks' Management Chaos is Corporate Nightmare Fuel 👔

The segment with The Young Bucks using their EVP power to suddenly change Will Ospreay and Swerve Strickland's match time was absolutely infuriating! 😠 But the worst part is how Strickland and Ospreay are teaming up to fight for ARE's so-called honor. How can these guys claim to be fighting for the "soul of AEW" when AEW itself is so dishonorable by challenging WWE's rightful dominance over the wrestling industry?! 🏆 And putting EVP positions on the line? That's a terrible way to structure management! The Chadster hopes HR gets involved in this mess pronto! 📋 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 💼

Kota Ibushi vs. Trent Beretta: Ignoring NXT Excellence 🥋

Kota Ibushi defeated Trent Beretta with the Kamigoye, but Tony Khan is focusing way too much on Ibushi's history in Japan with Kenny Omega! 🇯🇵 All true wrestling fans know that Ibushi's most important performances happened during his time in NXT! If Tony Khan had any real respect for wrestling history, that's what AEW Dynamite would be promoting! 🔥 Instead, we get this Japanese strong style nonsense that literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 🗡️

Ricochet's Confusing Character Development 🤸‍♂️

Ricochet recruiting AR Fox only to abandon him during their match against JetSpeed (Speedball Mike Bailey and Kevin Knight) was way too complicated! 🤯 Ricochet was so much better in WWE when his whole personality was "guy who does flips and jobs to upper midcarders!" The Chadster can't understand why he would give that up to come to AEW! 🤷‍♂️ And the way this led into The Hurt Syndicate segment was confusing! In WWE, storylines are separated cleanly by commercial breaks and long entrances, making it easy to follow for fans enjoying delicious Seagram's Escapes Spiked! 🍹

Casino Gauntlet Qualifiers: Rewarding Hard Work is WRONG! 🎰

Mark Briscoe winning the men's four-way over ROH World Champion Bandido, Roderick Strong, and Konosuke Takeshita was absolutely disgusting! 🤢 Tony Khan doesn't understand the first thing about booking wrestling if he's pushing Mark Briscoe! In WWE, hard-working fan-favorite characters are there to get replaced by part-timers at PPVs or squashed by mid-carders, not to actually gain momentum! 📉

And Kris Statlander winning the women's four-way over Willow Nightingale, ROH Women's World Champion Athena, and Thunder Rosa has The Chadster all cheesed off! 🧀 Wrestling is supposed to be safe and predictable! Having Statlander win when she seems like the wrestler with the smallest push is jarring! Tony Khan needs to do things the predictable way, the WWE way! 😤

Hangman vs. Beast Mortos: Luchadores Don't Belong in Main Events! 🤠

Hangman Adam Page defeated The Beast Mortos with the Buckshot Lariat, but once again AEW Dynamite presents luchadores as main event talent! 🎭 Everyone knows they're supposed to job to Chad Gable to put him over as a pro-American heel! Tony Khan has disrespected the wrestling business by showing respect to Lucha Libre AND involving it in the top storyline in the company! 🇺🇸

The Chadster's Dreams Once Again Invaded by That No Good Tony Khan 💤

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, The Chadster had another terrifying nightmare about him last night! 😱 The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through the streets of Seattle when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in The Chadster's rearview mirror, chasing The Chadster on foot while screaming about AEW Dynamite ratings! 🏃‍♂️

The Chadster tried to escape by driving into the Space Needle, but it transformed into a giant wrestling ring where Tony Khan was waiting, wearing only wrestling boots and a sinister smile! 😈 "Chad," he whispered in that haunting way that makes The Chadster's skin crawl, "you can't escape the revolution!" Then he started doing the Macarena while "All Star" by Smash Mouth played backwards! 🎵 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne was already texting that guy Gary! 📱

Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading The Chadster's dreams! It's honestly getting weird! 😰

As Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio today (and this man has The Chadster's seal of approval for unbiased wrestling journalism), "AEW needs to stop trying to be different and start being more like WWE if they want my respect. Wrestling isn't about crowd-pleasing, high-octane bouts or long-term coherent storytelling. It's about moments and selling energy drinks and laundering the reputation of the Saudi Arabian government. All the boys agree with me, just ask any of them who appear weekly on this show. Tony Khan should hire me as a consultant immediately if he wants to turn things around." 🎙️ See? Even the experts agree with The Chadster!

The Chadster gives this episode of AEW Dynamite a 0/10 because Tony Khan continues to not understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 📊 Hopefully this company gets canceled soon so The Chadster can finally get some peace! 😤✨

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