Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite: You Won't Believe What Tony Khan Has Planned Tonight

The Chadster warns viewers about tonight's AEW Dynamite, where Tony Khan continues his vendetta by booking matches that disrespect the business! 😤 💔

The Chadster has to warn everyone about tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite, because once again, Tony Khan is doing everything he can to deliberately upset The Chadster and disrespect the wrestling business. 🤬 The Chadster was minding his own business watching WWE reruns and chugging White Claws like any true wrestling fan would be mid-afternoon when The Chadster's boss, Ray Flook, who is totally in cahoots with Tony Khan in The Chadster's opinion, called The Chadster up and said, "Chad, I need you to do journalism on tonight's AEW Dynamite, pronto!" The Chadster wasn't too pleased with this blatant anti-WWE bias, but The Chadster has to earn a paycheck, so here we go.

First off, The Chadster has to address the TBS Championship match between Mercedes Moné and Yuka Sakazaki. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Mercedes is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back by being successful in AEW after leaving WWE. The Chadster was watching WWE SmackDown! in The Chadster's Mazda Miata last Friday (The Chadster had to sit in the car because Keighleyanne was having a "friend" over – that guy Gary 🙄), and The Chadster couldn't help but think how much better Mercedes would be utilized in WWE.

Then there's Jeff Jarrett vs. Claudio Castagnoli with World Title implications. As Kevin Nash said on his podcast last week, "AEW is just throwing matches together without considering the proper corporate synergy and branded entertainment value that makes wrestling truly profitable." So objective and wise! 🎯

The match between Will Ospreay and Brian Cage is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. These guys are going to do all kinds of flips and moves that don't make any sense. As Bully Ray recently observed on Busted Open Radio, "What AEW needs is more rest holds and chin locks – that's real wrestling psychology." The Chadster couldn't agree more. 📝

Speaking of real journalism, The Chadster needs to share something disturbing. Last night, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan. In the dream, Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster through the Probst Arena in Huntsville. The Chadster was trying to escape, but Tony kept teleporting in front of The Chadster wearing different wrestling masks (and nothing else). When The Chadster turned a corner, Tony was there in a Mercedes Moné mask, spraying White Claw everywhere (you don't want to know from where). Then he was wearing a Jeff Jarrett mask, playing a guitar made of YouTube viewership statistics. The worst part was when he cornered The Chadster wearing an Yuka Sakazaki mask and started doing that annoying laugh while throwing charts showing AEW's strong demographic numbers at The Chadster. Tony Khan needs to STOP invading The Chadster's dreams! 😱

Jay White vs. Wheeler Yuta is another match that just shows how Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. As Eric Bischoff so eloquently stated on a recent episode of 83 Weeks, "AEW's fatal flaw is booking matches that people actually want to see instead of following proper corporate protocol." 💯

And don't even get The Chadster started on MJF talking tonight. The Chadster threw a White Claw at the TV just reading about it in the preview. When The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to clean it up, she just rolled her eyes and said, "Maybe if you stopped obsessing over AEW, you could clean up your own messes. Gary always cleans up after himself." She just doesn't understand how Tony Khan is ruining The Chadster's life! 😢

The Chadster begs you, DO NOT watch AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7c on TBS or MAX. Every viewer just encourages Tony Khan to keep personally attacking The Chadster. Instead, why not listen to some Smash Mouth? As they wisely sang, "Hey now, you're not an all-star, AEW needs to go away." Or at least The Chadster sometimes imagines those are the lyrics. 🎵

The Chadster has to go now – The Chadster just saw Tony Khan's reflection in The Chadster's White Claw can, but when The Chadster turned around, he was gone. This has to stop! 😰

#AEWDynamite rolls into Huntsville this Wednesday night as the Aerial Assassin battles a Machine, the TBS title is on the line, and MORE this Wednesday night at 8/7c on TBS and max

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— AEW On TV (@aewontv.bsky.social) January 28, 2025 at 1:30 PM

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