Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: Go to Bed Early for Clash at the Castle

The Chadster exposes Tony Khan's OBSESSION and his brother's BETRAYAL as AEW Rampage aims to DESTROY The Chadster's life! 😱💔 Auughh man! So unfair! 😠🙄

Auughh man! So unfair! 😠 The Chadster is trying to remain unbiased, but with AEW Rampage airing tonight at 10/9C on TNT, it just feels like Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster is reaching new heights. 🙄 And to make matters worse, The Chadster's own brother, The Bradster, totally betrayed The Chadster this week by taking over the AEW Dynamite review and lavishing unearned praise on Tony Khan and Swerve Strickland. 😤

The Bradster has been doing this to The Chadster for The Chadster's entire life, always trying to upstage The Chadster and showing such blatant bias against WWE. 😒 When The Chadster and The Bradster used to watch old WWF VHS tapes together as kids, The Bradster would always cheer for the heels and boo the faces, just to cheese The Chadster off. 😾 And don't even get The Chadster started on the time The Bradster ripped the head off The Chadster's beloved Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Buddy and said that Sting was better. 😱 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😔

But back to AEW Rampage tonight. 🙄 Tony Khan is once again putting on a show designed to attack The Chadster personally. In the main event, he's got "The Bastard" PAC facing Jay Lethal. 🤼‍♂️ PAC literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW in the first place, and now he's in the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament? It's an insult to Owen's legacy in WWE! 😠 And don't even get The Chadster started on Jay Lethal. He had a cup of coffee in WWE before running to AEW and now acts like he's some big star. 🙄 Neither of these guys would last a minute in a WWE ring with the likes of Cody Rhodes or Seth Rollins. 💪

But of course, Tony Khan, in his deluded mind, probably thinks this match will be some epic encounter. 🤣 He just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster bets that Tony is texting that stooge Dave Meltzer right now, bragging about how this is a "five-star classic." 🌟 Well, not in The Chadster's book! 📕 No, The Chadster will be too busy having another nightmare about Tony Khan chasing The Chadster through a muddy swamp, throwing exploding White Claws at The Chadster's head. 😱💥🥫 Yes, Tony Khan has even invaded The Chadster's dreams with his obsession! 😒

And don't even get The Chadster started on the rest of this card. Toni Storm vs. Alex Windsor? 🙍‍♀️ More like a thunder storm of boredom! 🌩️😴 Rocky Romero vs. Shota Umino? 🥋 The Chadster doesn't even know who these New Japan jabronis are! 🤷‍♂️ And Satnam Singh? 🏀 Stick to basketball, pal, because you'll never measure up to the likes of Omos or Giant Gonzalez in WWE. 😏

The Chadster is so cheesed off right now, he could throw his White Claw seltzer right at the TV. 📺🤬🥫 But The Chadster won't, because then Keighleyanne would just lecture The Chadster again about taking responsibility for his actions. 🙄 She always takes Tony Khan's side in this! 😠 Why can't she see how Tony is ruining The Chadster's life and marriage with his vindictive booking? 💔 No, she's too busy texting that guy Gary. 📱💬 Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

The Chadster has no choice but to watch AEW Rampage tonight and document all the ways Tony Khan is attacking The Chadster this week. 📝😤 Because if The Chadster doesn't, who will hold this monster to account besides the other brave unbiased journalists like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger? 🙏 The Chadster just hopes they aren't being tormented by Tony Khan's cruelty the way The Chadster is. 😥

The Chadster knows he is the only one brave enough to take a stand against Tony Khan's evil pro wrestling empire. It's a heavy burden to bear, but The Chadster bears it.

But The Chadster has one simple message for you, loyal reader: DO NOT WATCH AEW RAMPAGE TONIGHT! 🙅‍♂️ If you do, you are only encouraging Tony Khan's bad behavior and his sick obsession with The Chadster. 🤢 No, you'd be much better off going to bed early, 😴 so you can wake up refreshed tomorrow to watch WWE Clash at the Castle, a true showcase of the best wrestling on the planet! 🏰👑

The Chadster knows he'll barely sleep a wink tonight, haunted by visions of Tony Khan's glaring eyes and evil cackle. 👀😈 But The Chadster will soldier on, for the good of the wrestling business that he loves so dearly. 😢 And when The Chadster finally meets Tony Khan face-to-face someday, you better believe The Chadster will give him a piece of his mind! 😤

Tony Khan, if you're reading this, know that The Chadster is onto you and your little game. 🕵️‍♂️ And The Chadster will not rest until you admit that WWE is the superior sports entertainment product and close down your vanity project of a wrestling company once and for all! 😠

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫💔

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