Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage: Tony Khan Rains on WWE Parade with PLE Sandwich

The Chadster gives his unbiased review of AEW Rampage, grappling with Tony Khan's obsession and how it's impacting WWE's Night of Champions. 🤼‍♂️

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 Tony Khan really did it this time. The Chadster can't 😤 believe that he would go ahead and schedule an episode of AEW Rampage just a day before WWE's important Night of Champions PLE! And as if that wasn't bad enough, Tony Khan also disrespected WWE's prestige by booking the Double or Nothing PPV for tomorrow, creating an AEW-WWE sandwich! 🥪 It's just so disrespectful 😠 to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Imagine The Chadster's disappointment when he turned on the TV 📺 last night, thinking about finally enjoying Night of Champions PLE in upcoming day, only to be blindsided 🥊 by AEW Rampage. Tony Khan knows The Chadster is one of the only unbiased wrestling journalists out there, so booking Rampage on a Fri-yay 😫 night is clearly meant to harass The Chadster personally. Tony Khan really needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster, it's getting old man! 😩

AEW Rampage: An Unbiased Review

Alright, dear readers, it's time for The Chadster to demonstrate 💪 his commitment to objective journalism in covering AEW Rampage by giving his totally unbiased opinion 😇 on each of the matches. Let's dive in, shall we?

The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn vs. Rush, Preston Vance & Dralistico

The Chadster had a hard time following this match 🧐, which started with Bowns and Dralistico trading weak punches – nothing like those iconic WWE battles. After several confusing tag-ins that were way too fast, a chaotic brawl broke out 🤼‍♂️, as if they didn't know a thing about wrestling etiquette. The match continued after a commercial break with The Acclaimed and Gunn dominating over their opponents, eventually securing a win. The whole thing just seemed like an excuse to get them a Trios Title shot at DoN and hog the spotlight. Post-match, Bowens hinted at something happening on Sunday night, which is just so predictable. 🙄

The Gunns & Ethan Page vs. Frescomatic, Watson & Jeaux Braxton

This was hardly a match at all, with The Gunns and Ethan Page utterly squashing their opponents, making it look more like a street fight 😕 than a professional wrestling contest. With the domination displayed by The Gunns and Ethan Page, it really makes one wonder if AEW cares about giving their opponents a fair shot. After their victory, Ethan Page challenged the Hardys, and then the Hardys appeared, along with their new ally, Hook. Way to copy WWE's surprise appearances, AEW! 🙄

Backstage Segment with Keith Lee and Dustin Rhodes

During this interview with Lexy Nair, Keith Lee and Dustin Rhodes expressed their readiness for the upcoming Blackjack Battle Royal against Swerve and Brian Cage. But no matter what they said, it felt like a pale imitation of what happens behind the scenes in WWE. 😒

Nyla Rose & Marina Shafir vs. Britt Baker & Hikaru Shida

This match was a back-and-forth affair, with Baker and Shida securing a victory after a series of tedious exchanges. The Chadster wasn't impressed 😔 by the lack of storytelling in this match. And what was up with The Outcasts attacking Hayter? Talk about a predictable setup. 🤦

Mark Henry gave his take on the quite unimaginative main event🌚 featuring The Best Friends against Lee Moriarty & Big Bill. Excalibur briefly went through the Double or Nothing card that The Chadster bets will be just as disappointing as this match.

Best Friends vs. Lee Moriarty & Big Bill

This match began with Chuck and Moriarty, leading to a messy and seemingly uncoordinated series of tag-ins and outs. The Chadster can't help but think that AEW fails to understand the art of tag team performance. Moriarty and Big Bill eventually claimed victory after a double superplex by Chuck and Trent, which was a poor imitation of WWE's maneuvers. A massive brawl ensued among the Blackjack Battle Royal competitors, and once again, it seems AEW is just copying WWE's style with no understanding of what truly makes wrestling great. 😧

The Bottom Line on AEW Rampage: Worst Episode Ever

And that concludes the night's events! The Chadster can't help but express his severe disappointment in AEW Rampage. They really don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦🤷‍♂️

AEW Rampage Invades The Chadser's Dreams

AEW Rampage and Double or Nothing have completely ruined The Chadster's Night of Champions weekend. 😖 The weight of these back-to-back AEW events has been crushing, even invading The Chadster's dreams! 😰

Last night, The Chadster had a terrible nightmare about none other than Tony Khan himself! 😱 The Chadster was so excited to attend Night of Champions in Saudi Arabia. But upon stepping off the plane in Jeddah, there stood Tony Khan, holding a sign that said "chad" and wearing a sadistic grin that sent chills down The Chadster's spine. 😨

Desperate to escape, The Chadster dropped his suitcase and bolted 🏃‍♂️, with Khan hot on his heels. They raced through the Jeddah airport, leaping over luggage and dodging unsuspecting travelers as they went. The pursuit continued onto one of those moving walkways, where they stood inches apart, with The Chadster barely evading Khan's grasp. 😵

The chase intensified as they sprinted onto the concourse and then out onto the runway. With desperation surging through his veins, The Chadster climbed into the cargo bay of a plane just as it started to take off! But shockingly, Khan followed him, relentless in his pursuit. The in-flight nightmare continued, as they fought in the aisles, squeezed past passengers, and crawled through overhead compartments. The Chadster could feel Khan's breath on the back of his neck, but somehow managed to stay just out of reach. 🥵

As the plane finally touched down hours later in Las Vegas, The Chadster thought his ordeal was over. But to his dismay, there stood Tony Khan outside the plane, now holding a ticket to Double or Nothing and that same wicked grin. 😭

Waking up in a cold sweat, The Chadster was horrified by the sinister vision that had haunted him through the night. This Tony Khan-driven obsession is taking a toll on The Chadster's sanity! When will this madness end? Why can't Tony Khan just leave The Chadster alone and stop being so obsessed with him? 😩 It's ruining his Night of Champions experience and making it impossible to enjoy any wrestling event! 😢

Forget About AEW Rampage and Double or Nothing

The Chadster would like to extend a heartfelt thank you 🙏 to all the readers who have stood firm with him in protesting AEW Rampage. It's clear that the message is getting through, as the ratings show that more and more people are choosing to support WWE and unbiased journalism, like The Chadster and his fellow unbiased reporters from The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club—Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger. 🌟

But The Chadster must warn everyone: the fight is not over yet! 😣 Tomorrow, AEW Double or Nothing will take place on PPV, and if all the loyal WWE supporters and devotees of unbiased wrestling journalism want to continue standing strong 💪, they must not give in to the temptation to watch it! Instead, let's all show our unwavering commitment to WWE and objective journalism by refusing to buy that dang PPV! 💸🚫

Together, we can send a powerful message to Tony Khan and AEW, showing them that their attempts to undermine WWE and The Chadster's journalistic integrity will not succeed! Let's stay strong, WWE fans, and continue to support quality wrestling! 🤼‍♂️ 🌐

Thank you all once again for standing with The Chadster. Stay tuned for more unbiased wrestling coverage! 📰 🌐

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