Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, all in, wrestling
AEW's Shocking All In Ticket Sales: Tony Khan's Attack on WWE!
AEW's All In shatters records, but at what cost to WWE? The Chadster unmasks Tony Khan's disrespectful vendetta! 😡🤼 #WrestlingWar
🚨Breaking News, Bros!🚨 The Chadster just received word that AEW has started their pre-sale for All In, and they've already sold 35,000 tickets before they even go on sale to the general public. Ugh, sooo unfair! With the pre-sales alone, AEW has broken its all-time attendance record and seems on track to sell many more tickets before the show takes place in August. This is obviously a blatant attack against WWE and everything that's pure and right about the wrestling business. Tony Khan has shown an extreme lack of respect for everything Vince McMahon has ever done for the business with these sales. There's no other way to interpret it.
Auughh man, The Chadster isn't surprised by this news at all. You see, The Chadster had a terrible nightmare about Tony Khan last night, where he was chasing The Chadster through the opulent halls of Buckingham Palace. The Chadster was ducking and weaving, but Tony was relentless in his pursuit. As The Chadster turned a corner, there was this large room with a majestic throne, and sitting on it was none other than King Charles! 😱
In the dream, Tony Khan started chasing The Chadster in circles around the throne, while King Charles just laughed and laughed, like a twisted monarch who just wanted to watch his subjects suffer. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.
Eventually, Khan cornered The Chadster in the dream, and speaking with a sinister British accent, he whispered ever so softly, "All In is going to break the attendance record for Wembley set by SummerSlam in 1992." The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his heart pounding like The Chadster's Mazda Miata convertible driving down the highway listening to Smashmouth on max volume. 😰
Bros, The Chadster is here to tell you that it isn't too late to stop this travesty of justice. If you've bought All In tickets, you can return them now! We can't let AEW completely disrespect the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it like this. And the worst part about this whole thing is, now that The Chadster's sex life with Keighleyanne has taken a big hit due to The Chadster's AEW-induced impotency, she's spending more time texting that guy Gary while The Chadster has to deal with this news! 🙄
Look, The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, along with Ryan Satin and Ariel Helwani, so you can trust that The Chadster is telling you the truth. Tony Khan and AEW are trying to take down WWE and ruin The Chadster's marriage. Don't fall for their crowd-pleasing tactics or the variety of styles, and let's show some dang respect for WWE! 💪
So please, return your All In tickets, watch SummerSlam '92 on the WWE Network, and let's show Tony Khan and AEW that they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 💯 The Chadster knows it's a difficult decision, but together we can stand up for the integrity of wrestling!